Valentine's Day in the ER

I stepped out of the shower, drying off and trying not to leave water on the floor. Last time I left water on the floor, I fell and busted my ass. Couldn't sit without pain for a week. It didn't help my lovelife either.

I peered into my mirror and have to admit I admired what I saw. Twenty-seven and no wrinkles yet. Attractive face. Long bouncy brown hair that I love. Green eyes. Moving on down, as my last boyfriend said, "one hell of a nice rack". I never wear a bra when I don't have to but my breasts stay nice and perky. Running my hands down over my body I passed my tummy, not quite as flat as it used to be but more than sexy enough. Hmmm, need to trim that muff back some. I like to try to keep it neatly trimmed into a heart. I think it's cute. Can't see my legs in the mirror here but they were still shapely and smooth, last time I checked. Leaning closer to the mirror I plant a kiss on my own lips. I'm sexy if I do say so myself. Modest? No. Fuckable? Yes.

I eyed my closet on my way to get dressed, wishing I could grab one of my sexier outfits. But what's the point? I'll have to be in scrubs as soon as I hit the ER.

That's where I work, by the way. County General Hospital. Though I was hoping for private practice or at least something other than ER when I got out of med. school, the only places hiring was the ER and OBGYN. I seriously considered OBGYN. Even though I usually chase more men than women, I'm definitely bisexual, so, the thought of looking at pussy all day every day was initially appealing but...the old adage of "too much of a good thing" usually proves true and what if I got sick of pussy? I couldn't live with such a thing. So I went to the ER.

I don't know if every ER is like ours or if we live in a particularly kinky city but every night, without fail, we see at least one person or couple that has suffered a sex-related injury. Maybe because I'm so sexually uninhibited at heart, I handle the sexually injured better than most. While most of the staff turns their noses up or makes fun of you for getting rope burns from an S&M session, I can sympathize. Due to my affinity for the "sex-jobs", most of the people in the ER have taken to calling me by all the classic porn movie nurse names, "Feelbetter", "Goodbody", etc. Can't say I mind too much.

Even though we get "sex-jobs" every night, there is one night in particular, every year, when we get the most sex-related injuries and that's Valentine's Day. Those people that are in relationships pick that time to try new things and those that aren't in relationships cause themselves great damage trying to cause great pleasure.

I entered the ER, signed in at the front desk and was checking the list of cases when a nurse came bustling by.

"Jenny, 'bout time you showed up. We've already got three sex-jobs for you."

"Three?"

"And the night is young!"

I made my way into the first room on my list. Inside sat a young woman. Very attractive. Shoulder-length auburn hair, angelic face, and she filled out her hospital gown quite nicely. She looked up as I entered and her face turned red. Sitting in a chair beside the bed was a young man. He too looked up, face red. I smiled as I checked the woman's chart. I glanced up at her. "It's ok, y'know. You don't have to be embarrassed." Well, that didn't work. She drew herself up closer, blushing even more. "So, Mrs. Turner? Why don't you tell me what's bothering you?"

Mrs. Turner glared at her husband. "It's my, um, butt. We were, well, we were having sex and my husband, Dave, said we should try something new. We hadn't ever done it before. And, well..."

I looked at Dave; he was watching his feet. "Anal sex?" I asked Mrs. Turner.

"Yeah."

"And you'd never done it before?"

"No."

"All right. Well, I'm going to have to get a look at you." Her face turned it's brightest red yet, she shot a withering look at her husband, and turned over. The flimsy hospital gown parted and a beautiful rounded ass appeared. I slipped on a pair of rubber gloves and gently parted her ass cheeks. Oh, sometimes I do so love this job. There was no apparent damage. "I'm going to test your rectum. You may experience slight discomfort but try to relax and don't clench." She immediately clenched. I inserted a finger into her asshole and felt it. Seemed fine. I could have left my finger there all night but she was clearly not enjoying the anal attention. "All right, Mrs. Turner, you can turn back over." I stepped back and pulled off the rubber gloves. "Ok, folks, here's the deal. I can't find anything wrong with you. Considering you've never had anal sex before, I would guess that's the extent of the problem. The rectum is a very small opening. If you perform anal sex frequently it will loosen. However, for the time being, while it's still tight, you will likely experience discomfort from inserting anything into it. I recommend that you start with something a little smaller than what your husband's packing." I think I saw a slight smile play across Dave's face. "Any good sex shop will sell anal dildos, smaller than an ordinary dildo. If you prefer more privacy, order online. Just experiment and find something that's comfortable for you. And always use lubricant."

Mrs. Turner looked a little less red but still nervous. "Thank you, Doctor. I guess we just got a little scared."

"Of course, no problem. Believe me, it's not the first time someone's been in here with this problem. Heck, it scared me the first time I did it."

Mrs. Turner's mouth dropped open and her husband's head snapped in my direction. He grinned. "You've done this?"

"Of course. Lots of times. It took some getting used to. My first time was quite painful but, believe me, it gets better." I smiled, checked the chart again, waved goodbye and was gone. I saw Dave talking quietly, but eagerly, to his wife as I left.

"You tell 'em to stop stickin' stuff up her ass?" A voice startled me as I closed the door to the Turners' room. I turned around and standing close by, pretending to examine a chart, was Bill Stevens, a fellow doctor and old fuckbuddy.

"You weren't listening?"

"Nope. No need. I saw them coming in. She was smacking at him and shouting 'You broke my ass! You broke my ass!'" I pretty much figured the rest out on my own." He smiled. "Or did you just show them the proper way to stick stuff up her ass?"

I swatted at him playfully. "Maybe I did. Seems a lot of people need help getting it done right."

"Really? I always thought I was rather good at it. Maybe we should confer on the procedure again sometime, just to be sure."

I turned to walk away, slapping my own ass as I went. "Anytime you want to play 'doctor', Stevens, you just let me know."

"Whoa!" I barely breathed the word, afraid of interrupting her. I had just stepped into the next room on my list to find a woman bouncing around on the bed. She was naked; a hospital gown lay on the floor several feet from the bed. The fingers on her right hand were deep in her pussy. Her left hand was moving from one breast to the other, cupping them, squeezing the nipples, clawing the pale flesh red. Her long curvy legs were kicking in the air as if she were riding an invisible bicycle. Strands of long blonde hair whipped around as she bounced on the bed, kicking and screaming. How did I not hear her screams before I came in here? The walls must be pretty soundproof.

"YEEEEAAAAHHHH! Ohhhhhhh! Oh! Oh! Ohhhyeeeeeeeeaaaahh! Yeahuhuhuhuhuh! Fuck me! Fuuuuuuck meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Her fingers flew in and out of her pussy, making sucking noises, droplets of juice flying. "Ohhhh! Mmmmmmmmmmm. Gonna...gonna...cummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm YEAAAHHH!" Jamming her hands and feet against the hospital bed, she lifted her body into the air, shuddering and squealing. She fell back to the bed with a thump and collapsed into a sweaty pile. Her eyes closed throughout, she guided her right hand to her mouth and pushed her wet fingers into her mouth. She sucked on them for a few seconds, a lovely smile on her face. I stepped back toward the door and my shoe squeaked on the tile floor. She opened an eye and looked at me. "Hey there."

I fumbled with the doorknob behind me. "Um, hi. I'm sorry, I didn't know you were, um, y'know, I'll just be going, I'm sorr-"

"Wait. You're the doctor?"

"Yeah."

"Ooh, you're a cute one. I was expecting some old geezer."

I glanced at my clipboard. "Ah...are you Miss Porter?"

"Call me Holly. But, yes."

I was doing my level best to ignore her state of nudity and the fact that she was still slowly licking the fingers that had, only minutes ago, been buried in her hot pussy. "It says here that you've got, uh, a headache?"

"Uh huh."

"Just a headache?"

"Mmm...but it's a bad one. It was hurting soooo bad." She sat up in bed, leaned forward and crawled down the length of the bed toward me, her heavy breasts pushing into the gauzy covering. Her firm round ass wiggled tantalizingly. "It seems like, if I'm not having sex, my head hurts. So I just try to have sex whenever I can." She rolled over onto her back, her head hanging off the end of the bed, grinning up at me. Her hands massaged her breasts, which were still red in places from her clawing. "But, sometimes, believe it or not, I just have such a hard time finding a partner! And I can only get myself off so many times before it just wears me out."

"Um," was all I could get out as my stomach bottomed out and my heart crawled up my throat. "I, um, I'm not sure what I can do for you..."

"Well, a couple of things, actually. If you wanted to give me an immediate, if not long-lasting, remedy, you'd take off your clothes and climb on top of me and fuck my brains out. Otherwise, I guess you could give me some kind of painkiller."

Awwwwww, fuck, how I wish I could go for the first choice. Damn hypocrite oath. Damn Hypocrites, damn him all to hell. "I can't. I can't have sex with you. Doctor-patient policies and everything." Beads of sweat ran down my face. "Believe me I wish I could." Wait, did I say that out loud?

"Really?!" the girl on the table growled. "Well, then, I guess we oughta solve my problem and then yours." Her hand flashed and grabbed me by the waistband of my scrubs. She pulled me toward her with one hand while the other shot down inside my pants. She fumbled with my panties for a second before wriggling a finger inside me.

"Oh!" My knees buckled but I steadied myself against the bed.

She drew her finger out of my pants and placed it in her mouth, sucking gently while winking at me. "Mmmhmm, that's exactly what we should do. You give me something for my head and you're not my doctor anymore. Then we tear those scrubs off of you and get each other off. Whattayasay?"

I think my exact words were "Humminahummina." I tried to readjust my panties, the girl's eyes following my every move. "Um, ok, I'll write you a prescription for something."

"Would you? Ooh, that'd be great. I'd be soooo grateful. So. Then can we fuck?"

"I'm...I'm on duty, I can't just, I mean I'd like to but I don't," I stammered as she just smiled at me, her head still upside down, golden hair streaming toward the floor.

She rolled over and stood up. She ran a hand through my hair and brushed her lips against my ear. "Listen, Doc, I'll tell you what. You go ahead and do your duty and I'll go see if I can find anybody else to fuck for the time being. But," she stuck a finger against my lips, wetted it, then drew it away. "I'll hang around. And, when you get off, if you want, we'll get each other off." She stuck the finger into her pussy, moved it around a little, then pressed it against my lips again. I closed my eyes and savored the taste. When I opened them again, the girl, Holly, had started to get dressed. She was wearing a long skirt, slit up the side to the waist. I could tell at a glance she wasn't wearing panties. She pulled a red blouse over her head. It was lacy and exceedingly low-cut. If she bent over, her straining breasts would no doubt spill out. She ran her hands through her hair and picked up a pair of strappy high-heel shoes.

"Wait," I turned as she walked to the door. "How will I find you?"

She grinned, the smile lighting up the whole room. "Don't worry, Doc, I'll find you." And she was gone. Oh, how badly I wanted to climb onto the bed where I could still see the stains of her juices and finish the job she had started on me. But I had work to do. Besides, it would make it all the more fun when she finished it later herself.

Third time's the charm, I thought to myself as I found my third patient of the night. I opened the door and eased into the room, hoping no one could smell the scent of my aroused cunt that seemed to envelop me. Inside was another couple, teenagers it appeared. A young man was pacing around the bed and jumped to attention as I entered. On the bed sat a beautiful young woman, probably no more than sixteen. She was holding a mirror in one hand and dabbing at her face with a tissue in the other. She was very pretty with dark skin and thick wavy hair. Dark nipples were plainly poking against the material of her gown. "Damn it, Jerry, I've still got some on my face! How the hell do you get this stuff to come off?" She stopped as I entered.

I smiled and introduced myself. "Hello, I'm Doctor Grey. How are we doing tonight?"

The boy stopped pacing and stared at me. "Are you gonna call our parents?"

"Jerry! I told you, they have to keep it confidential! Right?" The girl directed the question at me.

"Yes, that's true. Um...what seems to be the problem?" I started toward her chart but she filled me in immediately.

"Sir Cumalot here shot his load down my throat!"

"Pardon?" I stopped reaching for the chart, gaping at the girl.

She didn't seem the least embarrassed. "I was sucking the big idiot off and he didn't warn me and he started shooting his load and it went down my throat before I could get him out of my mouth!"

"I swear, Maria, I didn't mean to do it! It just happened so quick, I," he looked at me. "Is she gonna be all right?"

I cocked an eyebrow at the boy and picked up the chart. "Maria Esposito?"

"Yeah, I'm Maria. And this is Jerry Williams."

"She don't need to know my name, Maria."

"Shut up, Jerry, it's your fault we're here."

I studied the chart. "I'm confused. What's the problem?"

"He came in my mouth! I swallowed it!"

"That's it? You came to the hospital because of that?"

"We called Poison Control because of that. They said they couldn't do anything about it and to come here."

I sighed and massaged my temple, I think I had caught Holly's headache. "Ok. So you swallowed his semen and panicked. Is that it?" They both nodded. "All right. There's nothing wrong with you. You haven't been poisoned."

"But he,"

"But nothing. Semen is not poisonous. The worst thing that can come from it is a mild stomachache. It's actually high in protein. A lot of people, men and women both, swallow semen on a regular basis."

Jerry seemed surprised but a grin spread across his face. "Have you ever swallowed any?"

"Jerry! You moron, what the hell's wrong with you?"

"No, it's ok," I assured her. "Yes. I have swallowed semen many times and I'm none the worse for wear." Jerry's grin widened. Maria looked skeptical. "I assure you, Miss Esposito, it's perfectly all right. Although," I looked at Jerry and his grin faded, "next time you might want to be a bit more careful. Even though it's safe, if your girlfriend doesn't want to do it, try to keep her up to date. Trust me, you don't want someone pissed off at you with your dick in their mouth." I snapped my teeth and he jumped.

Maria at last seemed relieved. "So I can go home now? And you won't call my parents or anything?"

"Yes and no. Go home and be more careful next time." I moved to the door but turned back, "Oh, and, Jerry. If you keep experiencing premature or uncontrolled ejaculation, you might want to see your family physician." Maria laughed as I left the room. Poor guy, it'll be a long time before he gets his cock sucked again.

I laid my clipboard down at the nurse's station and checked my watch. Ten o'clock. "Well?" I addressed one of the nurses. "Any more sex-jobs?"

"Nope. Sorry to disappoint you, Goodbody, but that's it for now." She grinned. "Must be a slow night, guess you'll have to wait 'til you get home to get your quota of - "

There was a sudden bustle behind us. I turned to see a man hurrying into the ER. Extending from the open fly of his pants was a foot-long black tube. I eyed him as he rushed to the desk. He coughed, looked around him nervously and started stammering.

"I've got...a...I've got something, I need to see a," his fingers drummed on the reception desk and the nurse behind it eyed him suspiciously.

Leaning back I glanced at the black tube. "Listen, Sherry, I'll take care of this one, all right?" She smiled and waved us on. "Come with me, sir, I'll take care of you."

I led him into a room down the hall and sat him on the bed. Upon closer inspection I noticed 'HOOVER' inscribed on the plastic tube coming from his groin.

"So. I'm guessing this wasn't a freak vacuuming accident." I smiled. "Why don't you tell me what happened."

His face turned beet red and his eyes became glued to the floor. He sighed, "Well, I saw an advertisement on t.v. for a penis enlargement device. It's Valentine's Day, y'know, and I have trouble getting dates and stuff and I thought maybe I could, well, do it myself. Without the machine on t.v. So I got out my vacuum and, well, I got stuck." He finished his story in a rush and, if possible, his face turned even redder.

I almost laughed but caught myself. "Ok. So that's it? You're just stuck? You're not experiencing any pain, are you?" He shook his head. Poor guy. I hate to see guys like this. A little trouble getting a date and all their self-confidence goes right out the window. And if I had a dollar for every guy that's come through here that hurt himself trying to make his dick bigger... I stepped back to give the man room. "All right. You'll need to get out of those clothes." He looked mortified. "Yes, get out of them. All of them. If I'm going to be able to do anything for you, you'll have to get rid of the clothes. Don't worry, it's not a Chippendale's show." I turned my back on him and heard him start to strip.

"Doctor? I'm done."

I turned back around. He was naked now, sitting on the edge of the bed, his hands in his lap and the vacuum tube sticking up like a stovepipe. He was an attractive young man, probably in his mid twenties with short blonde hair. Not much in the way of muscles and very thin. Probably not much of an athlete but certainly he should be capable of getting a date for Valentine's Day. I decided immediately to do whatever I could to bulk this guy's confidence back up. "So," I rummaged through a cabinet in the corner of the room, "what's your name?"

"Kevin Thompson."

"It's nice to meet you, Kevin. My name's Jennifer Grey." I found a tube of lubricant and walked back to his bed. I kneeled down between his legs. "Here's what we're going to do. I'm going to see if I can't lubricate this enough to get the vacuum tube off. If I can't get your penis loose, I guess we'll have to cut it off." He jumped. "The tube! Not your penis!" I rubbed the lubricant around his balls and the base of the tube, talking to Kevin all the while to keep his mind off of it. And then, with a pop, I pulled the tube off. Before me, bobbing up and down, was his cock. Fully erect, it was probably six inches long. I looked up at him. "Looks like your experiment worked, Kevin. That's a nice big cock you've got there."

He grinned sheepishly. "No, that's as big as it was before."

"Hmmm." My hands still covered in lubricant, I began to rub and massage his penis. "Really? My last boyfriend would have loved to have had a penis this big. Not that it mattered, really. After all, it's not the size of the penis, Kevin, it's how you use it. 'Motion of the ocean' and all that." He moaned. "How does this feel by the way? Does it hurt?"