Veggie Stew

"Today I had to write, because today I finally decided to leave my good friend Rob. He's just not growing up. And I have to get on with my life. Well, anyway, you know how I like to relax when making a tough decision. Well, yes, I did the naughty thing today. Uh huh. I know, I said I would stop. And hey, I did for the longest of time. But like a drug addict, there are relapses. Today I had a relapse, big time. Today I fucked Mr. Pepperoni. Yes, the big guy himself. Serves Rob right, me fucking a dirty, hard, disgusting pepperoni, because Rob won't be fucking me any more after today.

"I did it in Rob's easy chair, and oh I was so very hot. I was careful, mind you, because after sucking on the hard pepperoni boy I rolled a condom onto his hardness before riding that masterful meaty cock for what seemed like hours. I came twice on it, that 10-inch wonder, before throwing the rubber under the bed and taking the meat back to the kitchen. I hope he tastes me when he eats that pepperoni, I sure do.

"Tonight, somewhere in a 767 over the midwest I think I will join the Milehigh Club of of Toyland. I wonder what will be the lucky recipient of my love nest!"

I read the last entry, my cock softening then hardening to the words. I didn't cum, I think I was bummed by her last words to me. Words probably meant to be read years ago but silent until now. Jeez, she liked fucking a pepperoni more than me. So much for my male sense of superiority.

I quickly closed the diary, put it and other incriminating evidence back into the box, and piled all sorts of stuff on top of it before taping it shut for a later time.

But I couldn't get it out of my mind. That night, long after Ellen turned her back to me in bed and mouthed those telling words, "not tonight", I crept downstairs to watch Letterman. During a commercial, after the monologue but before the first guest, I went to the fridge for a beer. Yup, you guessed it, there was my favorite, Corona, and thoughts of Jenny riveted through my brain. I reached for it, flipped the top, and took a long swig. Wouldn't you believe it, Ellen had a whole bunch of carrots, a zucchini and a cucumber in the crisper. What, no pepperoni?

How in the world did Jenny neglect to bang a cucumber? Sort of studly looking if you know what I mean. I shut the door, took another swig and then a gulp as my eyes wandered to a bunch of bananas on the counter top. Enough already! My dick was hardening at veggies, thinking of my old girlfriend and her adoration of non-human sex partners.

I started back toward the family room, but something came over me. It was like a magnet, drawing me back toward the kitchen. I couldn't help myself. I walked back to the counter, grabbed a cantaloupe, opened a small hole in one end and, well, Jenny, this fuck's for you!

(No, it wasn't hot sex, but it didn't take much to have me join the toy club.)