Watching Mom & Grandma Ch. 01

"Monica?" It was Mom.

With tears spilling out of my eyes, my heart exploding and my stomach climbing into my throat, my hands smacked in desperation at the door handle, cracking at least two of my fingernails in the effort. I was finally able to yank open the door and tumble out into the hallway. I had to keep moving; I couldn't deal with being caught so red handed. Somehow managing to keep my footing, I yanked my jeans up around my waist and raced down the hallway, my feet thumping louder and faster than a stampede of cattle as I raced for the safety of my bedroom.

"Monica!" I heard called again; only now, the voice was low and distorted, as if heard from underwater.

My chest ached and throbbed as I practically vaulted like a gymnast into my bedroom, stubbing my big toe on the foot of the door as I kicked it shut. Rolling my body, I leapt up on my knees, secured the lock and then slid down the door, crumpling into an emotionally exhausted pile on the carpet. My heart was knocking so hard that I almost didn't hear the sudden and rapid knocking on my door.

"Monica! Monica, is that you?" Mom demanded.

"Go away!" I pleaded.

"Monica, please open the door." Mom pleaded in reply. "Baby, I think we need to..."

"I said go away! Leave me alone!" I screamed. "Just leave me alone!"

"Honey, please..." Mom practically sobbed.

"Go away!" I shrieked at the top of my lungs.

By now my mind was so overloaded that it just couldn't accept anymore. I had never felt more physically or emotionally drained; and within seconds, I slipped into a dark and dreamless sleep.

***

A beam of bright sunlight slowly baking my eyelids ultimately stirred me awake on the following morning; Monday. Still lying in a ball on the floor in front of my bedroom door, I was more than a little disoriented to say the least as I roused. Fluttering my eyes and feeling a slight throb in my toe, I sat up slowly and rubbed my sticky eyes. What the hell am I doing on the floor? I wondered to myself. Rolling my tongue over and around inside my dry mouth, I stretched out my arms over my head and then slowly got to my feet. That's when I noticed that my jeans were undone; and all at once, everything came back to me. And I mean everything; in the minutest detail, and I nearly tumbled to the floor again as my legs went rubbery.

I had caught my mother and my grandmother in the throes of salacious and incestuous lesbian passion with each other; and then they had caught me watching them.

OH MY GOD!!!

Still, my mind was too weak and too tired to even begin to process what I had witnessed. This just couldn't be happening! No, it didn't happen. It was a dream! It had to have been a dream. There was just no possible way that I saw what I saw last night.

I stripped out of my clothes, dumped them in my hamper and then stood under a blistering hot shower for nearly half an hour. I dried off and slipped on a fresh pair of jeans and a T-shirt before heading downstairs. Believe it or not, I had totally convinced myself that everything I'd seen last night had all been a dream and I now found myself on the verge of chuckling over it. That is until I walked into the kitchen and found Mom sitting solemnly at the table with a cup of coffee in front of her. Dressed in a bulky old sweatshirt and faded jeans, my mother looked up at me; and the expression on her face, combined with the look in her eyes instantly confirmed that everything I'd seen the night before had been no dream at all!

"Hi honey..." Mom whispered after an interminable moment of awkward silence and staring at each other.

"Hi." I replied meekly.

"We need to talk." Mom said as she gazed into her coffee mug.

"Yeah, I suppose we do." I replied.

"Are you hungry?"

"No."

"Would you like some coffee then?"

"No."

"Then would you at least sit down please?"

It took a moment for my brain to transmit the message to my legs and feet, but I finally stepped over to the table and sat down across from my mother.

"So, where is Grandma?" I asked; half expecting for Grandma to sneak up behind me and say "right here."

"She had to fly back east this morning for an emergency meeting." Mom told me. "She'll be back tomorrow or the next day."

"Emergency meeting? How convenient." I said sheepishly.

"That's what she told me this morning before she left, Monica!" Mom practically snapped. "Your grandmother is a grown woman and can do whatever she wants."

"Okay Mom!" I snapped back.

There was another long and uncomfortable moment of silence as Mom and I stared at each other. I still couldn't get over this was really happening. Finally, I sighed deeply and ran my hands through my hair.

"Look, why don't we just cut through the bullshit and confront the big pink elephant sitting in the living room head on, huh?"

"Fine with me." Mom replied calmly.

"I saw you and Grandma having sex last night!" I barked.

"Yes, you did." Mom said coolly.

Her response left me totally flabbergasted; I had to check to be sure my jaw wasn't lying on the floor. Though I had witnessed Mom and Grandma having sex; it still wasn't real to me. And now to hear my mother admit it so casually, without the slightest hesitation or the tiniest inkling of regret completely floored me. Mom sighed deeply and then took another sip of her coffee.

"Monica, your grandmother and I have had an intimate, sexual relationship since I was eighteen years old." She stated matter-of-factly.

"What?" I snapped; not knowing what else to say. This had been going on for twenty years? Now I was certain I was in the Twilight Zone.

"Honey, I'm going to try and explain this to you in a way that I can only hope and pray that you'll understand." Mom began. "But before I do that, I first want to tell you that regardless of anything, nothing has changed in the way your grandmother and I love you."

"Okay."

"I also want to tell you how terribly sorry I am for having kept this from you." Mom said. "You're my daughter; you're also my best friend and the dearest thing in the world to me, baby. And we've always had a very strict policy about not keeping secrets from each other. And here I've been keeping this one from you all these years."

"Well, you have to admit...It's a pretty big one." I said with a smile.

"It all goes back to your grandfather, Monica. Your grandfather was a monster. He was a heartless, cruel, vicious and wicked man. He was extremely violent and very abusive toward me and your grandmother." Mom swallowed hard. "From my earliest recollection, my father did nothing but hate and terrorize your grandmother. He was so very jealous of her in every respect."

"Did he drink?" I asked softly; wanting desperately to reach out and take Mom's hand.

"No..." Mom said definitely. "He was just an evil man; and your grandmother and I lived in constant fear of him. He very often treated us like slaves. He'd beat us physically and emotionally; he'd also rape your grandmother."

"Did he ever...." I trailed off, unable to put the words together.

"He tried..." Mom said. "On several occasions; but your grandmother would never let him do that to me. She took to sleeping in my room; and in my bed from the time I was very young just to protect me from him."

Now I did reach out and take Mom's hand and she smiled warmly as our fingers laced in a solid bond of affection.

"Outwardly, we were the ideal family; but inwardly, your grandmother and I were prisoners. And this went on for many years! Even with your grandmother's success and her high profile public life, we could still do nothing about what went on in private. We couldn't find a way out; so your grandmother and I just held on desperately to each other until finally, by the grace of God, your grandfather was involved in an accident which left him a quadriplegic and with brain damage."

"Oh my God..." I said.

"And of course by then, after enduring that living hell since I was old enough to walk, your grandmother and I were extremely close."

"I can imagine."

"So, even after your grandfather was put into an assisted living home where he died a few years later, your grandmother and I remained inseparable; especially at night. Neither one of us could sleep without the other. Of course, it was all still extremely innocent; just a brave woman and her frightened child holding on to each other and now trying to recover. Being together so intimately was a way of life for us; perfectly natural, comfortable and normal."

"Why have you never told me any of this?" I pleaded.

"I don't know, love. I honestly don't know." Mom replied. "But I'm telling you now because I want so desperately for you to understand how I feel about your grandmother."

"I know."

"Your grandmother saved my life so many times; she is my hero! She's everything I've ever wanted to be as a woman. Yes, I still love her as a daughter loves a mother; just as she loves me like a mother loves her daughter. But we're also very much in love with each other! Our years of torment and trial bonded us in a way that nature probably never intended; so I suppose it was no accident they we fell in love. True, it's not natural to fall in love with one's parents or with one's child, but it does happen; and neither I nor your grandmother regrets our love for a moment."

"Is she your soul mate?" I asked; my heart ramming and my belly spasming.

"Yes!" Mom declared.

I could feel my entire life growing dark and gloomy all around me as I listened to my mother's words. The woman I loved more than life itself; my mother, was already in love with somebody else; my grandmother.

Mom spoke so softly, so gently; she seemingly got lost in her recollections of a most poignant and magical love story. It wasn't long before both of us had tears in our eyes; but they were hardly for the same reason. Mom's tears were clearly that of a woman hopelessly in love, while mine were those of a woman who was losing the love of her life. My dream was dying a slow and sorrowful death right there at our kitchen table. Mom then began to tell me about my own father; she told me that she had fallen madly in love with him and despite their deep love and passion for each other my grandmother would happily allow my mother to flourish as she so chose. What mother wouldn't? But then, just a couple of months before my birth, my father rose the specters of my mother's troubled past; he had been drinking heavily, and in a rage, he'd beaten her up. And that, as they say, was that! Mom returned home to Grandma, took refuge in their passion and never saw my father again; and learned just days before I was born that he had been killed in a drunken bar room brawl.

Mom and I sat at the kitchen table for nearly three hours that day as she bore her heart and soul to me; she held nothing back. In one of the lighter moments of our discussion, I point blank asked her about the collar and blindfold I had seen her wearing the night before. Mom explained without the slightest shame that BDSM was one of the many sexual games that she and Grandma played in order to enjoy each other's bodies to the fullest. Even with so much violence in their past, they thoroughly enjoy bondage, domination and submission; it demonstrates to both of them their level of love and trust in each other.

By the time our talk drew to its conclusion, I was more in love with my mother than ever; and subsequently, even more heartbroken. When I questioned the sudden absence of my grandmother a second time, Mom told me how badly my grandmother had felt for me; and after a long discussion, they determined that it would be best for Mom and I to find our way through the situation together; just the two of us. I assured Mom that when Grandma returned that she and I likewise, would find our way through it. Mom's face lit up in her gorgeous smile; the smile that always melts me to the very core and then she embraced me warmly. I always get lost in my mother's embrace; I feel so safe, loved and wanted. I returned her embrace desperately; not wanting to ever let her go. Closing my eyes as I breathed my mother in, I willed my heart and soul with all my might to transmit my true feelings into the heart and soul of my mother.

Finally, Mom released me and stared into my eyes as she combed her fingers through my hair; her smile literally ripping me apart on the inside. Then she kissed me on the forehead.

"I love you with all my heart, baby girl. And even though I love your grandmother; you are still the most important person on Earth to me." Mom said.

"You too." I nearly whimpered.

Mom patted her leg and then stood up; scooping up her empty coffee mug and then bent over, kissed me on the forehead again, tousled my hair and then turned to walk over toward the sink.

"Mom! Wait!" I heard myself say; what the hell am I doing?

"What is it, love?" She replied with a sweet smile.

"Can you sit back down for a minute please? I have something I need to tell you."

***

"Monica, I'm your mother! How can you suggest such a thing?" Mom had said.

What the fuck?

I sat for nearly an hour at the kitchen table after Mom had literally stormed out trying desperately to fain indifference; I even heard myself chuckle a time or two. My mother had just confessed to having spent the last twenty years of her life in an incestuous sexual relationship with her own mother. That being the case, would it be entirely out of the realm of possibility that her own daughter might become attracted to her? Logic would say no! But for Quinn Coulter to suddenly learn that her own daughter was deeply in love with her and wanted a sexual relationship with her was apparently something she wasn't prepared to hear at that moment; let alone wrap her mind around.

Mom just sat there staring at me for the longest time; those dazzling emerald eyes studying me deeply, all the while filling slowly with confusion, revulsion and ultimately, anger. The thought occurred to me that perhaps Mom thought I was mocking her; making light of the most beautiful thing in her life. Then without another word; her body trembling with what I assumed was fury, Mom practically jumped up and hurried out of the kitchen. One thing was certain; our relationship had changed forever.

Mom locked herself in her writing room and I didn't see her for the remainder of the day. As the week progressed through Tuesday and Wednesday, Mom remained locked in her writing room the vast majority of the time; and the few times we did pass each other, nothing was said. She was so cold, distant; she wouldn't even make eye contact with me. By now I was pretty sure that Grandma wouldn't be coming back anytime soon. That's when my mind really began to torture me with questions I had no answer for. Had Mom told Grandma about how I feel? Do they feel I'm trying to come between them? Threatening their relationship? Is Grandma angry at me? Will she ever speak to me again? Will Mom? I had never felt more alone in the world than I did those two and a half days before Thanksgiving.

Finally, the night before Turkey day found me downstairs in the living room watching "A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving" on TV. I had always loved the Peanuts, but I could hardly focus on it for my mind was still torturing me; as was my heart. Just then, Mom suddenly emerged from her writing room and headed toward the kitchen.

"I made some macaroni and cheese." I said softly; almost desperately. "There's plenty left if you're hungry."

Ignoring me completely, Mom moved with purpose into the kitchen and emerged a few moments later with a plate of steamy hot macaroni and cheese in her hand, along with a glass of milk. Without so much as a glance in my direction, Mom moved across the living room and returned to her writing room; closing and locking the door behind her. I spent the next half an hour crying my eyes out there on the living room sofa. Not only had I lost the woman I loved; I had lost my mother too. I was completely heartbroken.

Finally pulling myself together, I shut off the TV, turned off all the lights and stopped by the door to Mom's writing room.

"Well, I'm going to bed." I called.

I got no response.

"You know, regardless of all else...I'm still your daughter; and you're still my mother. And no matter what, I will always love you."

Once again, I got no response. Only now I was more angry than hurt; get the fuck over yourself, I thought. Some fucking Thanksgiving this was going to be.

I went upstairs to my room and stripped out of my clothes, down to just my panties, which is what I normally sleep in and climbed into bed. I slipped the earplugs of my I-pod in, punched up some soothing tunes, flipped off the lights and stretched my body out on the mattress. Sleep wasn't coming anytime soon; that was for certain! So I snapped up my I-phone. I scanned my Facebook page, sent a few "tweets" and then ended up playing solitaire. I'm not exactly sure how much time went by; half an hour or maybe a little more. With the earplugs of my I-pod still in place, I didn't hear the knocking on my door, and it wasn't until my door opened suddenly and a shaft of light flooded into my dark room from the hallway that I realized that I was no longer alone. I looked up casually to find Mom standing in my open doorway. As the light was coming from behind her, all of her features were pitch dark. But I could tell that something was different; something was very different. Mom's hair was freshly brushed and draping beautifully, full and flowing down over the tops of her sexy shoulders. Sitting up slowly on my bed, I popped the earplugs out of my ears, set both my phone and my I-pod on the bedside table and flipped on the lamp.

Mom had an almost mystical look about her; the likes of which I'd never seen before; donning her full length, royal blue silk night gown that clung to her hour glass figure so divinely it should be illegal. The shoulder straps were dental floss thin and it was cut exceptionally low and thus her gorgeous cleavage was on full display for me as she stood motionless in the doorway of my bedroom. Looking at her more closely, I noticed that she had given herself a full make up job; her lips glistened with fresh cherry gloss and I could smell the hypnotic perfume on her even from across the room. And then, there were her eyes; those sparkling and captivating emerald eyes! Mom's eyes were ablaze; her intense gaze was burning with an internal hunger as she strode across my bedroom and sat down on the edge of my bed; her stare burrowed into my very soul and leveled me completely. It was a stare of pure and unadulterated lust. Neither of us spoke; there was no need. I sat in complete shock as to what was happening; or what was about to happen. Just a hair's width from me sat my lovely mother, so beautifully perfect; so tempting in every way.

Mom's passion filled eyes remained locked on me for what seemed an eternity, and then her lips filled with a tiny smile. I returned it. With that, I felt the trembling fingers of my angelic mother start to caress my cheek; then brushed tenderly across my trembling lips.

"Oh, Monica..." Mom whispered emotionally. "Oh my baby; my beautiful, beautiful baby girl. God forgive me, but I am so in love with you too."

I felt Mom's fingers gingerly sooth my jaw, easing her mouth to mine. Then, as if a gigantic supernova blew itself up all around us, I felt the warm delicate lips of my gorgeous mother brush across mine. A massive shockwave of passion and lust seized my every muscle as the intense surge of our very first kiss as wanton lovers crippled me to the very core. I was sharing a tranquil, timeless kiss of love and lust with my dazzling mother. Saliva oozed from the corner of my mouth as my mother's lips urgently pressed to mine; our mouths searing deeply together. With our hands curling through each other's hair, I could not believe I was kissing my beloved mother; the woman of my dreams, the one true goal of my entire life. With each careful sip of my tongue, as our lips slothfully wove together, I began to comprehend that there was no turning back ever. And I'd never want to.