What Do Women Want?

Dear readers: Thank you for all the comments and feedback I have gotten on this essay – mostly pretty positive. I have revised it in a few paragraphs that seemed a bit off and provoked the most negative comments. These had to do with women's feelings about clothing and fashion, and about the idea of playing with relationships. I hope this version has better captured the more typical feelings of more of you lovely creatures.

As always, what I want is what any writer wants - a reaction from the readers. Please tell me what you think, positive or negative, and please do vote. Don't be afraid to tell me personally what you think about it.

--------------------------------------------

What do women want?

This is of course the lament of all men, and women too. I too am mystified, but then, I am not even sure what I want, so how can I tell what anyone else wants? Nevertheless, I'll take a stab at it, and see how many women stab me back.

They want to be amused – to laugh.

They want to feel sad – to cry, to grieve.

They want to feel passion, desire, lust.

They want to care deeply, fondly, tenderly, gently for children, pets, plants, men, women.

They want to feel desired, wanted, lusted after, attractive, gorgeous, sexy: To feel the power of their sexuality to motivate men. They are constantly aware of being judged on their appearance, which forces them to consider appearances to be important. They view getting dressed almost like putting on a costume for a show – their costume to be carefully selected and arranged for effect, not merely a utilitarian covering, and they want to know that they have accomplished their purpose.

They want to feel cared for, nurtured, protected, comforted.

They want to feel needed, but not just for sex.

They want to feel understood – to not feel alone in their own heads, but mind-melded with someone who shares their thoughts and feelings.

They want a strong man to lead them, but only in exactly the way she wants to go.

They want to feel hot, wild, rough, forceful sex, in which their orgasms are forced from them without their consent, where their feelings are not within their own control.

They want to feel slow, gentle, tender, nurturing, touching sex, in which their bodies are pampered.

They want to feel in control of their bodies and their sexuality.

They want to feel the nurturing emotions they get from feeding you.

They want to feel the nurtured feelings they get from being fed.

They want to feel hugged, to feel touched without sex in a way that makes them feel loved for who they are, not just for having a vagina.

They want to feel angry, bitchy, pissed off, and able to shout out their feelings without thought of self control – to vent, to blast the world in general, or the stupid, fucking, testosterone driven idiotic male they are stuck with, for every little tiny thing that annoys them, and for those deep hurts that last for years. They want to blast you and the world for giving them hormones, periods, labor pains, and all the shit work they get stuck with, whether you had anything to do with it or not.

They want feel the force of his anger, to feel him fight back, to feel his emotion and passion.

They want to know just exactly what you are thinking – they want to get inside your head and run their mental fingers through your brain – to know you in a way that you don't even know yourself, to feel what you are feeling.

They want to take a relationship apart, examine it, play around with it, rearrange it, like they so carefully analyzed every aspect of every relationship when they were 13, worrying about it, checking on it, taking its temperature. They want to make it better, improve it. They want to make sure they are really and truly loved.

They want to feel at the center of your universe, with all your thoughts and feelings focused on them alone.

They want to make a man go wild, in uncontrollable thrashing, moaning, involuntary ecstasy, giving in to his male desire as the woman takes total control of his body, and watches in awe as she drives him out of his fucking mind with the force of the male obsession that women struggle to understand, watching the power of the male body as it strains at her touch, as she evokes and manipulates it: To make him FEEL.

They want to feel accepted – to feel like they fit in, but at the same time, they want to be different, unusual, idiosyncratic, a bit odd in their own special way, not like anyone else at all. They want to feel unique, special, different, not pigeonholed by some idiot who thinks he can generalize about the entire gender, as if all women wanted the same things, which obviously they do NOT. She is not just any woman, she is SHE, and she alone, nobody else, and don't even try to make generalizations about what she wants!!!

What women want is to FEEL. They want emotion – almost any kind of emotion. Men want the physical feeling of sex, of arousal, of touching, of joining with a woman physically, of glorious orgasmic pleasure. The woman wants that too, but it's not enough. She also wants to feel emotionally and to join mentally. My impression is that for women, emotions play a role somewhat similar to the role that sexual feelings play in the male. I always wonder what women do with the time that they have free because of generally not thinking about sex quite as much as men (i.e. every fucking minute of the day and night). I wonder what it is that drives women, in the way men are driven by sex and lust. My guess is that emotional feelings, relationship feelings, psychological feelings, are what fills that role and releases the endorphins that make life bearable. But what do I know? I'm just a stupid sex obsessed male.

--------------------------------------------

Please comment. Please vote. Please let me know what you think about this. Whether you agree, disagree, or just think I'm an idiot for even attempting this subject, I would love to get your feedback, public or private