What I Would Like To Do To You

For more than a year my girlfriends have heard me refer to you as "the cute Dad at school that I have a crush on." Even that long ago I would get butterflies in my stomach just thinking about seeing you. I was often caught off-guard by my physical response to being near you. If you stood near me the heat would roll through me like I was near the sun. Your voice affected me almost as if you were touching me. We could be talking about the weather but in my mind you had me pinned against a wall kissing my neck. It was all I could see and hear. More than once, I had to take a few steps away from you my reaction was so intense. It was a little embarrassing. I was sure you knew what was happening inside me.

Did you suspect any of this? There were times when I swear I could feel almost an electrical charge crackling between us. You know how your cock twitches when you see something you like? Women have a version of that too, at least I do. A gush of heat and wetness hits me that is delicious and agonizing at the same time.

The feeling is delicious because it is so rare for me to react at that base chemical level just looking at a man. I am a deep person- not a cave woman for fucks sake! I take time to nurture relationships and get to know people- then lust after them. I lost my virginity my sophomore year of college -- not high school! What am I doing getting all hot over this man that I have only spoken sentences to? I am married for God's sake! What would people say? Thankfully, no one can read my mind.

The feeling you give me is agonizing too, because as I feel myself melt and liquefy, knowing my greedy body is optimistically getting ready for you, I curse the fucking world. Because, of course, you "belong" to another. I am not going to get what I want. I will not be able to satisfy this desire. I cannot have you no matter how wet I am. I cannot bring to reality the visions in my head. I cannot taste you; I will not feel your strong hands on me, your mouth on me, and your fingers in me. I will not get to feel the weight of your body or see the expression in your beautiful eyes looking into mine that moment just before you cum.

So I should move on? I should talk to you about the weather and actually focus on the weather? I should just forget about how you make me feel? I should somehow find a way to stop? That does not sound right or even possible to me. I feel more obligated to honor these extraordinary feelings burning inside me- celebrate them. I am not going to make it so easy for you. I am a little too tortured. I am a little too obsessed. The thoughts in my head deserve a chance to be heard.

I want you to know what I would do to you.

I would start with kissing- lots of it. It has been something like 5 years since I have been kissed passionately. I ache. It has been almost a year since the last unremarkable time I had sex but it is kissing that I miss the most. I could have a whole conversation kissing you- set aside about 4 hours. I would convey my desire and my despair. I would worship you with my lips and tongue. I would touch your face, put my hand on your cheek and pull you deeper inviting you in. I can't imagine that I would get enough. Lips are amazing and tongues- oh my God-how good they can feel! I so miss that.

I would then see how your neck feels to my mouth. Kissing, nibbling, and licking your throat and that delicious dip at the base where your collarbone meets it. Maybe you would reward me with a soft moan when I find that magical spot that seems to connect straight to your groin? I would have to explore your ears and test if you liked your lobes pulled on gently with my teeth. I would have to think of something yummy to whisper into your ear all hot and breathy to make you even harder for me.

From there I would work my way down your chest mostly caressing you with both hands but also using my mouth, exploring with kissing and sucking. There are a few spots I would like to pay special attention to. I would love to watch your stomach ripple under my mouth, feeling your muscles tighten and release as I move lower down your abdomen to my destination.

Now, this is a place I have wanted to be for a long time!

I want you in my mouth.

I miss giving a great blowjob almost as much as kissing. This is not foreplay. This is the main event. I would really settle in. This is not about me, although I am certain I am soaking by now. I want you to feel worshiped, safe, and adored. I want everything else to fade away for you except my mouth on you. The hurt the world causes floats away and is replaced by me and my hands, mouth, lips and tongue.

At first, I am certain my enthusiasm would get the better of me and I would swallow as much of you as I could while cupping and softly rolling your balls over and over. But, then I would have to slow down. This is the best part for me. I would pull back. I am in no hurry and I don't want you to be either.

My warm moist mouth and my hands on your cock will become the center of your world for a little while. Every sensation, every squeeze, every soft nibble, every suck and flick of my tongue you will feel. I will read your body and discover what feels best to you. I will do this over and over again- slowly. Maybe your most sensitive spot is that little ridge on the underside of your cock where the head meets the shaft? Well, then I will just have to lick and suck and tease it forever- slowly.

If I feel you getting close I will back off. I would consider it a compliment if you just couldn't take the slow motion anymore and you put your big hands on the back of my head to be more forceful- to go faster, a rush to explode in my mouth. I would be fine with that because my goal is to make you feel so good.

But, I would love it if you could hold on and enjoy each lick like I am devouring my favorite lollipop. I have waited so long. In the end, I want your orgasm to roll through you, last an eternity, curl your toes and make you believe I really am a magical goddess as I swallow my reward and lick you clean.