What Now? RevisitedbyDG Hear©
Many readers had suggestions about both Dorothy and George. What they should do and not do. Most just wanted to here it all from Dorothy's point of view. What would make a woman think the way she did? Here is Dorothy's story after the reunion.
After George spoke at the reunion I felt thoroughly humiliated. The bad part is I totally deserved it. Paul, the so called love of my life wasn't any wall of protection by any means. My friends Dixie and Joe just sat there completely stunned. I may have been sitting with friends but I was alone, truly alone. I have now made the biggest mistake of my entire life. I lost my husband by choice, I was alienating my children who I truly loved, and may not have a life with my grandchildren.
After George and June left the reunion I got up from the table and walked over to talk to my kids. Listening to them tell me how bad I screwed up. They were berating me pretty good. We also talked about all the good times we had both with and without George. They reminded me that family really matters, even broken ones. They still wanted to be part of my life but couldn't see it happening with me in another state. They wanted their children to know their grandmother, which brought tears to my eyes.
I told them all how much I loved them and always have, never a doubt. Looking back now I was glad that George was their biological father. He was a good father to them and would make a terrific grandfather. I told them I had a lot of heavy thinking to do. I would be home on Monday. But now I didn't know where I would be staying. I hadn't planned on moving in with Paul till after the school term which had a few months to go. There was no doubt that George would not let me stay in the house. I guess I should have thought about that earlier.
George Jr. asked me to come and stay with him and his family till I made up my mind as to what I was doing. They had a spare room in their basement where I could have some privacy. I just started crying, all the crap I put my family through and they still loved me.
George Jr. looked at me and said, "We don't like what you did mom or the way you did it, but as dad pointed out you are our mother and have always put us first. We have to learn to live with it. We all love you but not your actions."
I looked at George Jr. and said, "Your dad said that after what I did to him?" and I started crying again. "God, what have I done to my life?"
I kissed all my kids and told them how much I loved them, and would like to see them before they went home. They said they were going to have breakfast with their father in the morning, that I was welcome to join them but said, "Please mom don't bring your boyfriend."
I told them I would see if I could make it. Then I headed back over to the table with Dixie, Joe and Paul. I asked Paul if we could leave the reunion. I have had enough for one evening. Dixie and Joe decided to leave also, the crowd was just starring to much at all of us. I knew we were the topic of all the conversations.
Paul and I went up to the room. As soon as we got there Paul wanted to make love, really all he wanted was sex, I pulled away telling him that what I need now was love and compassion. I needed to be held. I needed to be comforted, not fucked. I looked at Paul and asked him why he didn't go over to meet my kids and introduce himself?
He said he was to embarrassed after finding out they weren't his.
I looked at him and said, "You have always told me that you wanted to become part of the family. That we were going to do everything possible to be a family unit. Do you still feel that way Paul?"
He looked at me and said, "I don't know, I love being with you but I want you not your kids and their kids. I have no connection with them. I thought we would move away from all this and be together."
"Paul what about our families? I want to see my kids, my grandkids. I want to be part of their lives. I know we never talked much about family, but I love mine and want a relationship with them." Paul's answer shocked me.
He said, "Dorothy, why don't we just make love tonight and talk about all this stuff tomorrow?"
I told him I didn't think so, I had to go out where I could gather my thoughts. I opened the door and walked out. I had nowhere to go so I went back down into the lounge and sat in a booth to think. I ordered a drink when two of my old classmates, Barb and Sue asked if they could join me. I just said, "Sure I would enjoy their company."
Both Barb and Sue were divorced. They were a little wild but have tamed down a lot over the years. I guess after you get passed fifty your thoughts start to change. We were good friends during our high school years but that was many years ago. We have never talked much after I moved to Ohio. They both looked at me and said, "Dorothy, we need to talk to you. It's about Paul."
"Paul? What about Paul?" I asked.
Then they began telling me about not wanting to butt in to my personal life but figured after my husbands speech, there was a few things I needed to know. Paul has dated both of them through out the years. He said he was in an unhappy marriage and was going to get divorced. eventually.
"We both knew that all Paul wanted was a good fuck, excuse our language, but we were both divorced so it was all we were after."said Barb
"We knew that you slept with Paul at the reunions but just thought you were just out after a piece of strange at the reunions. We had no idea you were in love with Paul or we would have spoke to you years earlier. We liked you, we always have but if you marry Paul it won't last. He has had sexual relations with most of the divorced women in our class, and a few of the married ones also."
Barb continued, "I have no idea what kind of man your husband is, but your family is what every woman wants when she get's our age. Kids, Grandkids, that's what life is all about. Do what you want with Paul, but don't lose your relationship with a great family like you have, for him."
"Paul didn't get divorced so he could marry you. His wife, June finally caught him cheating on tape and had the proof she needed to get a divorce. She left Paul with almost nothing. You will be supporting him if you two get together."
My mind wandered in a dozen different direction, I didn't know what to think but for some reason one question entered my mind. I looked at Barb and Sue and thanked them for telling me all this before I made an even bigger fool of myself. I asked them if they could answer one question for me and please be honest. It was very important.
They said, "Of course we will tell you the truth, we have no reason to lie to you. What do you need to know Dorothy?"
"Is one of the married women Paul slept with, Dixie?" I asked.
"Yes she is, but we thought you knew since you two were best friends. In fact, word out there is that you and Paul swapped with Dixie and Joe."
"What? No, that is not true, I have never had sex with Joe. Who started such a lying hateful rumor about me?" I asked.
"Well, Dorothy, you better take a big slug of that drink before I tell you. You're going to need it." replied Sue.
"We were sitting at the table during the reunion with Bob, and Harry". When Bob looked at you and said, 'If he knew you played around he would have tried to get in your pants.'
Then Harry said, 'He had talked to Joe earlier and he said he was in your pants not two weeks ago.' said Sue.
Barb added, "I said bullshit Harry, Dorothy wouldn't sleep with Joe."
Then Barb said, "Harry replied, 'Joe said he could prove it,' that you have a little brown mole on the right side of your bush next to your pussy.' like we'll get a chance to see that" Barb laughed.
I was in panic mode and started crying. Barb and Sue tried to console me. They said, "We know Joe's lying, everything will be alright."
I looked at Barb and Sue and said, "I do have a mole, but how did Joe know it?" I then asked them if I could bunk with them tonight. I don't think I wanted to be with Paul tonight, nor Dixie and Joe. Not till I got some answers.
Sue went over to Pauls room and picked up my clothes. She said Paul was pissed but let her have them. I then called my son Mike's room. When he answered the phone I asked him if I could ride home with him in the morning? He just said, "Sure mom, we will be glad to have you, then he said love you mom."
I said, "I love you too Mikey."
Barb, Sue and I went back to their room where we talked some more. I was drained after the whole evenings activities.. The girls just let me have one of the beds and after a couple more drinks I fell asleep.
The next morning I showed up at the family breakfast. It was nice just being around my family. I could tell George wanted to throw digs my way but took the high road seeing all our kids were there. Damn, I spent thirty two years of my life with this man and never took the time to really get to know him or him me. When George left to go home he said goodbye to all the family and then told me to enjoy my new life. I couldn't help tearing up, after all wether I loved him or not, we spent thirty three years together. After all our thirty third anniversary was the next day.
After breakfast I went back to Barb and Sue's room to get my stuff and go home. I thanked them for letting me spend the night and for telling me about Paul. It will help me make some future decisions.
I then stopped by Paul's room. When he answered the door he was still in his underwear. He wasn't very happy with me. He said the only reason he came to the reunion is to be with me and I ruined that for him. He said nothing about everything that happened.
I told him I had to leave, that I was riding back with my son Mike and his family. That I would contact him later to talk with him. I went to kiss him goodbye and as we kissed he grabbed my ass and squeezed. Then he said that was something to remember him by till we seen each other again.
Paul did ask me how come I wasn't riding home with Joe and Dixie?
I just looked at him and said, "I have doubts about my friendship with Dixie since I found out you've been fucking her."
Pauls eyes opened wide but he didn't deny it. He just said, "The last time was a few years ago and that was a mistake. It's you I want Dorothy."
The words 'last time' meant he had sex with Dixie more then once. With that said, I just said, "Goodbye Paul," and went to Mike's room.
I asked Mike if I could use his phone to let Joe and Dixie know I was going home with them. When I called, Dixie answered, I told her that I was going home with my son Mike but I would be talking with her within the next few days.
She seemed a little stunned by my remarks but said, "Okay talk to you later."
After getting home I called George about getting some of my personal items. I told him I thought the 65% to 35% distribution of assets was a bit harsh seeing we built all our assets together but I agreed to them so we could both get on with our lives.
He said I could stop by with George Jr. and pick up any personal stuff I needed. Also if I agreed with the divorce settlement to contact Sally Hawk, his attorney and she would get things started. As of right now he wanted little or no contact with me. He would not be home when George Jr. and I stopped by.
As you know I am a school teacher and had to get back to work on Monday. Then I contacted a realtor and looked for an apartment so I would not have to upend George Juniors family any longer then necessary. I found a condo not far from the school and a short driving distant to my two sons homes. I could move in within the next couple of weeks.
I contacted Sally Hawk and the divorce proceedings were underway. She was a very sharp attorney and said it would be done within a few months since neither of us were contesting it. I did ask her to contact George for me and ask him if I could purchase some of our furniture, linens and such at two-thirds there value to furnish my apartment.
Sally must have contacted George because three days later I got a personal call from George asking me what this was all about? He thought I was moving to Michigan as soon as the divorce was final.
I told him if he would meet me face to face I would do a lot of explaining to him. It was just to complicated to explain over the phone. He agreed to come to George Juniors house to listen to what I had to say, but the divorce was going to go through and he wanted to make sure I understood that fact.
I told him I completely understood and was not pulling any tricks but just thought it was time to get it all out. George Jr. was taking his family to visit his wife's family for a few hours and we would have the privacy to talk.
George arrived and we decided to just sit in the living room to talk. He sat on the sofa and I sat in the lounge chair. I offered George a beer which of course he accepted. I had a glass of iced tea. The only thing I asked of George was try not to throw to many digs at me because I really wanted to get this all out.
He agreed to hold back as best as he could, but no promises.
"I just started out by telling him that I was never going to see Paul again. I made a gigantic error and now I'm paying dearly for it. I have only myself to blame. All these years I thought I was in love with Paul. Every since the first reunion when I found out he wanted me. What he wanted was the great sex we had. The same went for me. It was the illicit sex and cheating, then getting away with it. Looking forward to every reunion knowing we could have that carefree attitude and I don't give a damn about anyone but each other attitude."
"I realized after your speech that I really never knew Paul. I thought I did but all I knew was how good the carefree sex was. No worries, no problems, just so called love and sex. Two or three days every few years. We had nothing else in common. I thought we did, but now when I mentioned family I found out he wanted no part of them. He just agreed with everything I loved so he could have the carefree sex that he wanted."
"I went into this whole affair thinking as a teenager who was in love. I never grew out of that mode when I was with Paul. I just kept the blinders on, I guess not really wanting to know the truth. If we were truly in love we would have divorced and gotten married years ago. It never happened, the only reason I believed we were doing it now was that Paul got divorced last year. I found out at the reunion that it was June who got the divorce, not Paul."
George stopped me and said, "Why are you telling me all this now? It doesn't change anything."
"The way I dumped this on you was wrong, totally wrong, even though we may not have had the best loving marriage, you deserved better, a lot better. I should have talked to you face to face like we are doing now. I know it doesn't change anything but I want to go to all the grandkids and family doings. I know you do also. I want us to at least be civil to each other around family."
I got up and got George another beer. After handing it to him I thought back over our marriage. "George I owe you a giant apology about the kids DNA. God, you didn't deserve that. I don't expect you to ever forgive me for my remarks but I am truly sorry about that. Using hindsight I really am glad that you are the father. You were always so good with them and they have so many of your good traits."
George was looking at me and was really listening to every word. I could never read his mind but at least he was letting me get all this off my chest.
"I have just a couple more things to say George. I have been thinking back over our whole thirty-three years. I can't say there was love and I can't say there wasn't. We had a marriage, we had sex, we had a family. With our family there truly was love from both of us to our kids. They knew it and have it with their family. We did a good job raising them.
"Maybe just maybe we did have love between us. But over the long period of time we just didn't work at it like we should have." I was tearing up a little. "Maybe if we would have shone our feelings for each other like we did for our kids this might all have turned out differently."
I know that it's way to late for us, but the way you treated me the last month, I think I was beginning to believe that writing the letter in the first place might have been a mistake. I honestly believed I was falling for you. I started crying and said, "Isn't that a crock." Then I wiped the tears from my eyes.
George looked at me and said, "At any time before you left Thursday for the reunion you could have stopped the letter. Why didn't you?"
Well George, I replied, "I deep down believe I was going to throw it away but I called Dixie and she tried to talk me out of it. She suggested I call Paul and talk to him. If I would have been home and had that lunch with you, I believe I might have stopped. But as fate would have it I called Paul, I wasn't here when you came home for lunch.
George asked, " What about your good friends Dixie and Joe? Have you told them your latest plans?"
"No George, I haven't talked to them about my future plans. I don't know if I want them as friends anymore." "I found out at the reunion that Paul had sex with Dixie. He admitted it to me, I believe it happened a number of times. If I would have known that I would have dropped Paul like a hot potato years ago. I can't believe Dixie would have done that if she was a true friend."
"Joe was telling people at the reunion that he had sex with me two weeks ago. I couldn't believe he would go around and lie about me like that. The only problem is he knew I had a mole down by my vagina. I have no idea where he could have found that out unless Dixie told him."
"George, did he see us have sex at the motel a couple of weeks ago?"
"I'm not getting into conversations about your friends with you Dorothy. If you need information about your friends you can get it from them. They are your friends not mine. But just so you know, I know a number of men who have bedded down your friend Dixie. I never told you because I figured you would probably have known?"
"She must not know about your staying here. She called me Monday the day they got back from the reunion. She wanted to know if she could come over and see me. I just told her that she was part of the cause of the breakdown of my marriage and I had no intention in being friends with her."
George then told me he was selling the house and most of the furnishing. The money would be split according to the agreement. Seeing as I was staying in town I could take whatever furnishing I needed for my apartment. To make sure I took Dot's furnishing also. She would need a place to stay when not at college. He figured she would prefer to stay with me for all the women talk. Of course he wasn't going to charge me for the furnishings.
Just before he left I thanked him for listening to me. Then I looked at him and said, "George, just maybe our marriage was more typical of the marriages today. Maybe it wasn't all that bad. We did last thirty-three years, and we did have some good times.
I did call Dixie the next day. She said she was so glad to here from me. She was wondering when I would be moving to be with Paul. Then she wanted to know all the details about everything that happened after the reunion and at home.
I just started in on her being mean spirited. "I am not moving to Michigan with Paul. My whole life with PauI had been a farce. I ruined my marriage, almost alienating my family and played a fool by my so called best friends."
"What are you saying Dorothy?" Dixie asked.
I just said, "Dixie, have you ever had sex with Paul?"
"Who told you that, George? Dixie asked.