When The Hope Was Lost

It was a wretched and rainy twilight as she rode with her shoulders slumped miserably along the mud clogged trail leading to Culberry town. The only sounds were the sucking noises of the horse's hooves separating from the muck and the hiss of the downpour. She despised riding in the rain. The way her grey cloak flopped and slapped against her leather clad legs in the blustery wind annoyed her and the unpleasant smell of wet horse, wet leather and wet wool only made being cold and soaked to the skin worse. Her horse shook its mane, jingling the bit and the wind blew the flecks of water warmed by his body onto her numbed hands and cheeks. It was useless to try and keep her hood up in this type of weather which meant not only was her fair hair drenched slick to her head, but incessant drips trickled into her eyes, reddening them and making the angry green stand out all the more sharply. It was in this sorry state that Lin and her horse plodded over the small bridge across the river outside the town's wooden walls.

She had enough coin for a meal and board in the inn but that was as far as she could stretch. A festival was starting and the main event was a tournament of swords, a series of duels with no armour. Death strikes were against the rules but fatalities were common. The prize was 700 pieces of gold. How distasteful and distressing she found this whole business of killing people, it was her only way of supporting herself now that her last safe haven had been destroyed. Her heart clenched tight as the realisation washed over her again.

"Corman" A choked off sob escaped her. Corman her oldest and dearest friend, her lover, gone forever. She would never hear him laugh or sigh or snipe at her again. Never again would she see his eyes intent on a piece of metal as he tested it twisting it this way and that in his rough hands, never again would he would pull her close for a hasty kiss as they sparred together, no matter how she tried she could never beat him. He was the one who had taught her. He always said that to make a perfect sword you had to be a perfect swordsman. It hadn't saved him though and the ring of his anvil was now forever stilled and stained with his blood.

She gasped raggedly and bit down hard on her lip. No more quiet tears slipping into the dark. She could go for months now without the crippling memories creeping up on her. She couldn't bear the emptiness of it. It was not pain, she could handle pain. It was numb, black loneliness, and it was engulfing her slowly. First her sisters, then her mother and now Corman, all taken in violence and pain. She had seen the light of life go out first hand. She carried all of their deaths with her as her penance for what she now did. And yet she was all the more dangerous for that. Her once laughing face had changed to a hardened mask of perpetual pain. With the death of her lover she had felt her heart break apart, and all mercy kindness and love had been flung away with the shattered pieces. "If anything ever happens to me...just keep going Lin," He had made her promise. She cursed him for that.

Blinking the rain and the tears out of her eyes again she cast about in the gathering dark for an inn. Down a winding street slashed at irregular intervals with bright streaks of light from windows, she saw a creaking sign bearing the crude picture of an ox's head above a hearth. Nudging her horse with anticipation they trotted smartly towards it. She dismounted in a splash of mud outside the half full stable behind the Ox Head. Untying her pack slowly due to her frozen fingers she took her time to look around the warm fragrant stable. Finally the last swollen knot loosened and swinging her liberated pack over her shoulder she led the horse over to a small form nestled in a pile of hay. She nudged the stable boy with her foot and a bleary eyed head emerged.

"Yah?" He mumbled sleepily.

"Here," She said abruptly thrusting the reins at him, "Make sure he's dried down well and gets a good feed. I'll know if he isn't treated properly." She watched the boy stumble to his feet to grasp the dangling reins. He seemed to be sleepwalking as he led the large wet animal into an empty stall. He started to fumble with the saddle straps releasing them too soon; the whole thing slid and fell with a dull slap in a sodden heap on the other side of the horse making the animal look round curiously.

"Be careful boy." warned in a soft and dangerous voice close to his ear. With a guilty cringe he whipped his head round. Lin had followed him silently into the stall. He studied her more carefully than before, his eyes travelling from her hand resting on the tip of the sword hilt just peeking from behind her waterlogged cloak down to the long cruel looking daggers almost but not quite fully concealed at the top of one of her mud spattered boots and up her strong slender legs and body to her hard green eyes. Mouth ajar, he nodded once nervously with a strong feeling she knew he had intended to hang up the tack sling a rug over the horse and snuggle up in his nest of hay again. After a long considering look she turned on her heel and walked slowly out the stable door. The boy breathed a small sigh of relief and turned to his dripping charge. They didn't get many people like her in the sleepy town.

The taproom went silent as she entered as usual. Sweeping her gaze quickly around the low ceilinged smoke filled room she spied an empty table in the corner furthest from the fire but near to the stairs leading to the upper floors. Her boots clunked softly on the wooden floor as the conversations started up again around her. Peeling off her cloak and dropping it with a splat over the spare chair she sat down with her back against the wall and adjusted her sword so that it was less conspicuous at her hip. A pretty girl with brown curly hair in an apron approached her corner weaving familiarly through the tightly packed tables and bodies near the fire. Lin clenched and unclenched her fists trying to get the heat into her hands and looked up into the girls smiling face.

"Would you like some warm cider?" She asked pleasantly taking in Lin's wet hair and red hands. "There's also the stew if you want something to fill the gaps. You look all done in."

"I'll take both. And a room if you have it." She replied looking around the room again carefully from under her eyebrow, noting the frequent furtive glances from most of the men at her white shirt which was soaking. She was too tired and full of aches to care. She felt a sudden prickle on the back of her neck as her hair stood on end. She slowly turned her head to the dark corner opposite her. A lone figure in a long cloak was sitting at a small table, his large hand resting on the table grasping a mug. He had his hood up and his face was completely hidden but she felt the intensity of his stare. Her eyes travelled down his shrouded figure. With a professional eye she noted his wide shoulders and long thick legs which were stretched out and crossed at the ankles. Judging by the huge broadsword propped against the wall he was here for the festival too. He suddenly looked away as she unconsciously tensed her shoulders thinking of facing him in the arena, he looked formidable.

"We do have a room actually. You're lucky because were nearly always full during the festival. The weather must be keeping people away. Terrible for the town. Can't abide all this mud. It washes down from the hills. Raining for a whole two weeks you know –"

"Yes I noticed that," Lin interrupted impatiently not taking her eyes off the man. "The food and then the room if you please."

She looked mildly affronted by the curt dismissal but shrugged and bustled away to fetch the food. The man tossed what remained of his drink into his mouth and unfolded himself from the chair. He turned towards her slightly and seemed to hesitate but then strode out the door letting in a gust of cold wind as he left. Lin relaxed then wearily rubbed her hands over her face and pressed the heels of her hands into her raw eyes. She was used to men reacting badly to her. No man likes a woman who can beat them in a fight and the fact that she carried weapons always called a stir.

She was looking forward to a good night's sleep. She always felt so tired. She was suddenly annoyingly aware of the weight of her wet hair down her back and dragged it forwards to wring it out as the girl came back with a large bowl of steaming stew and a mug of cider. Lin pressed some coins into the girl's hand and proceeded to wolf down her meal. She burned her tongue but didn't care, she didn't even taste it. It had been days since she had eaten anything solid and felt its warmth spreading through her. When she had scraped her plate clean she stood up and stretched trying to get rid of her stiffness while surreptitiously eye the room. A few of the men stared bleary eyed at her as she strained against her damp clinging clothing their eyes snagging suddenly on the long sword dangling from her hip and quickly looking away. Stooping wearily to pick her pack and her cloak up from where it had slithered under the table she beckoned to the girl to show her to the room. She picked up her mug of cider and followed the girl up the stairs. The room was sparse but cosy with a simple rug softening the rough wooden floor and a large bed against the far wall. Opposite it was a small shuttered window. A cheery fire crackled in the hearth and a pitcher of water with a matching basin was perched on a small table beside it.

"Goodnight miss." chimed the girl as she closed the door. With a short sigh Lin strode over to the fire dropping her pack and unbuckling her sword as she went. She spread her still dripping cloak over the part of the table that wasn't taken up by the pitcher and started to unpeel her shirt and trousers. As an afterthought she lifted the pitcher and bowl from the table onto the hearth and spread the rest of the table with her clothes. She stood naked before the fire letting the heat wash over her. Finally when she was warmed through she crawled under the blankets concealing a dagger under the pillow and sunk immediately into a deep dreamless sleep.

Lin knew something was wrong before she opened her eyes. It wasn't morning yet and there was an oppressive silence all around her. She was facing the wall when she opened her eyes. The light from the fire had died down. She suddenly felt a presence in the room behind her. That was why she had awoken. There was someone watching her silently. She cursed herself for failing to bar the door somehow. Her heart started to beat harder and she slowed her breathing. She knew that if it was one of the beer soaked drunkards from the taproom there was no real threat but somehow she knew it wasn't. Sighing and stretching slightly as if dreaming she slid her hand under her pillow for her dagger. It wasn't there.

She clenched her teeth. She would have to go bladeless then. She heard a soft step towards the bed where she lay, then another. She felt a strange sense of helplessness, she was alone, naked and without a weapon in the dark and a building sense of terror robbed her of a plan. As the steps reached the bed and stopped she felt a light touch of warm fingertips on her bare shoulder. She couldn't move. This was so unlike her to be frozen. The fingertips moved slowly down her arm leaving a tingling in their wake when something snapped inside her.

Her other arm flew up and grabbed the fingers. She whirled her body around and upright twisting the fingers hard with her strong grip and tried to grab at the dark figure that loomed over the bed and strike with her knee. She managed a handful of cloth before the figures other hand whipped up and wrapped itself around the back of her neck pulling her tight his body. It was a large rough hand and it was strong. So it was definitely rape he planned. She spat out a guttural outraged growl and drove her knee up into his groin. He let out a deep pained grunt and doubled over. A large piece of shirt ripped off in her hand as she lunged for her sword. Before she could reach it the man hitched his foot around her ankle and she smacked into the floor. He was on top of her before she could recover and grabbed her wrists pinning her to the floor with his weight. She writhed and snapped wildly, trying for any opportunity to escape and do serious damage to this malicious intruder. She was in a rage and no longer terrified. She knew how to fight and he would get nothing from her without being injured.

She managed to get a leg free and rolled the attacker off her, his grip tightened on her wrists and she was pulled on top of him. She aimed to bite his face but he used her trapped hand to push her over onto the floor again. They were dangerously close to the fire now and low as it was Lin knew she could be badly burnt. She pulled hard at her left hand and almost managed to yank it free when he slammed himself on top of her again crushing himself onto her naked body. The light from the embers fell onto his face and she gasped and suddenly stopped struggling.

The face was so familiar as if glimpsed from a dream. But it couldn't be...he was dead. They had told her so, shown her the how her the blood. They dragged his body away they said. She'd had no hope. His hair was an inexplicable colour, all shades of gold and red, and the thick curls of it were bound at the nape of his neck. A few strands had worked themselves free in the struggle and framed his face. He wore a short beard which hugged the chiselled planes of his cheeks and chin and accentuated several new scars. And his eyes. His eyes were a deep rich blue flecked with silver and glowed with an intensity that took her breath away.

He seemed just as enthralled with Lin. His eyes roved over her face taking in her almond shaped grey green eyes, her full lips and the smattering of freckles that were sprinkled lightly over her small nose. His eyes then moved to her shining fair hair, which all unbeknownst to her was just as richly coloured as his. It was fanned out in a tumbling mass on the floor and glinted in the light of the fire.

His eyes locked with hers and she felt a jolt in her stomach.

"I know you..." he said softly in a melodious voice smiling gently.

"How did you get here? How did you find me?" she whispered. She was no longer angry; she was no longer filled with anything but wonder for this man. Those eyes.

"I'm here for the festival. The tournament has a valuable prize. I had given up hope of finding you" He said simply, his voice caressing the words as he gazed into her face. She became aware that he was no longer holding her wrists and slowly brought her hand down and tentatively traced her fingertips over his brow then down a deep scar in his cheek. She hesitated her heart pounding and looked full into his eyes and traced his lips slowly. They were smooth and soft and full of promise. His eyes half closed at her touch and he kissed her fingertip tenderly.

She whispered softly "What happened to you? Why didn't you ever come back? They told me you had been killed and your body dragged off. I almost...but you made me promise. I couldn't live without you."

His eyes flashed open and he looked away from her. "Thieves ambushed me in the forge. They heard I was making some valuable swords for the Duke. There were five of them." He sighed heavily and shook his head. "They didn't reckon on me being there in the middle of the night. There was a fight of course and I was injured badly but I killed two of them before I got a clout on the back of the head. They dragged me off alright but I was alive. I probably looked dead to whoever saw it. I couldn't get away. They sold me to a Baron who liked to watch a fight. By the time I escaped you had moved on from our house. I didn't know where you had gone and nobody knew anything." He sighed again remembering.

"I waited for a year, but I couldn't stand being around your things anymore. It hurt too much."

"It doesn't matter." He said stroking her hair. "I found you finally. You're not easy to find even though you leave a lasting impression. I thought you would have found someone else but I had to see you."

"There was never anyone else. I couldn't...they never seemed...right. They weren't you." She said smiling.

With his hands resting on the floor by her head he bent his head slowly, her breathing quickened. It had been four years since she had been kissed, since she had been touched with anything resembling gentleness. He kissed her softly looking into her eyes. His kiss was sweet and tender and tasted of summer. She closed her eyes to the pleasure of it. Corman. Her Cor. He was hers and she was his. She had blotted out those memories to avoid the pain. Years of forgotten love struck her like a wave. His kiss, his touch. How had she ever forgotten? She opened her eyes. He seemed surrounded by a golden corona and happiness made his eyes glow her hands came up around his wide shoulders and clutched him desperately. He wrapped his strong arms around her and drew her slight form tight to him.

"I'll never let you go again." He promised into her hair. "Never Lin."

He gently picked her from the cold floor and carried her to the bed. He laid her on the blankets and looked down at her naked form. His eyes travelling over her pale neck and shoulders to her small firm breasts, down her flat yet gently rounded stomach and over her shapely hips. He had forgotten just how beautiful she was. How tiny and perfect. Her breath was coming in gasps now her heart pounding and the heat building between her legs he could see it in her eyes. God how well he knew that look.

He was taller than her by a foot and a half and was twice her size, muscular and tall. She always used to say how much she loved him being so much bigger than her he remembered, how she said it was like being embraced by a bear. She reached out to him yearning to be closer. His blood thundered in his veins as he looked at her. He could stand it no longer; he ripped off the remnants of his torn shirt and stripped off his trousers. He stood over her naked breathing hard his magnificent cock standing proudly and then he pounced on her, kissing her lips and neck hungrily, running his hands down her body to cup her buttocks in his strong grip.

He moulded himself to her and she gasped softly into his mouth as his throbbing cock pressed into her tender wet folds teasing her. So familiar, so wonderful, so drenched in love. All the time she was drinking in his presence. Her skin flushed and her eyes shining. She reached up and ran her hand up his well muscled back over his shoulders onto his chest. She revelled in the texture of the thick and silky blond hairs that grew there as he gently slid his manhood over her dripping slit again and again. She moaned and arched her back.

His grip tightened inexorably on the tender flesh of her buttocks squeezing so tight it brought her exquisite pain; one of his hands released his grip and slid up her body to cup her breast teasing her pink erect nipple between his fingers. He kissed and kissed her as if he was a starving man at a feast. She grabbed handfuls of his thick hair and pulled his lips down tighter penetrating his mouth with her hot tongue, exploring and enticing. He broke apart to catch his breath and groaned deeply into her neck as her juices ran freely coating his cock and making it slick and sensitive as he guided her ass with his hand.

"Take me Cor. Take me now... please." She begged lustily kissing his neck and digging her nails into his back. He slowed his pace and looked deep into her eyes. With a slow movement of his hips his throbbing cock slid between the wet swollen folds of her and rested agonisingly against her waiting pussy. He lowered his head to clamp his mouth onto her nipple and clamped down nibbling and sucking and driving her wild.