When We Were Married Ch. 03A

"You like that baby? I thought that damned pussy was going to snap shut there for a moment. Boy, when you cum you cum."

He pulled out and she almost whimpered but he grabbed her by the hips and rolled her over onto her back and slammed it in so hard her head hit the bed board. He hammered it home once, then drew back until only the big fat head was inside her. He reached down, grabbed both her breasts and pulled them up. It was painful but it was as if all the nerve endings had gone off at once. He stuffed one inside his mouth, bit the nipple and bit again harder until she gasped. It felt like he was going to bite it off, but she couldn't stop wanting it.

"God, I wish you still had milk in these. I'd love to milk you. Drink you."

As he was biting he began to hammer his cock home, so hard she literally bounced up and down on the bed under him. Her head kept hitting the backboard and she knew if she didn't move down he'd probably give her a concussion, but she couldn't get her thoughts together enough to beg him to let her slide down. She forgot to breath. The only thing in the world was his hands and mouth on her tits and that wonderful cock inside her.

Then she felt that explosive release inside her and he kept hammering. God knows how long it would take him to get off.

"You love that, don't you, baby. Poor little Bill never got that deep, did he? Bastard. Could you even feel him inside you? This is what you need. Was this what you were thinking about that last night he was with you."

Only the fact that she had just climaxed, her fourth in an hour since Doug had started eating and finger fucking and then plain old fucking her, allowed her to grab his shoulders and shove him back as hard as she could. He fell back, his dick popping out of her.

He thought she was playing as she pushed him back until she was able to get a foot up and planted it squarely in his chest and shoved. He fell backwards and unable to keep his balance, went completely off the back of the bed.

His head appeared over the edge of the bed as he said, "What the fuck...What are you doing, Deb?"

"Stay there," she warned him. She didn't realize she had picked up the small alarm clock on the stand beside her bed until his glance made her realize what she was holding in a throwing position.

"Goddamn, are you crazy? You could have hurt me."

He stood, his rampant cock standing up red and ready.

"You could have broken something irreplaceable, babe."

"I'd have hated that. But..."

She drew herself up on the bed. It made her breasts hang down like swollen fruit while he could see her pussy, swollen and wet from their fucking.

"Look at me. You like this?"

"You know I do."

"Have you been with anybody else since we got together? I know there are dozens of women who'd grab you in an instant."

"No, you know better than that. That was our deal. I gave you those medical reports and I haven't been inside another woman because I know you'd drop me if you ever thought I might pass anything on to you. Not that it's been easy, but I love feeling your pussy around my dick too much to screw it up by going out on you."

"I think I believe you. You know I could fuck around on you with no trouble. There are a dozen guys on the staff alone that would love to have this, even if they had to wear condoms. And they would. But I haven't been with anybody else."

"Yeah, I know."

Then listen to this, Doug. You talk too fucking much. You are a great lover. You have a wonderful cock. And then you ruin it all by insulting my husband. Why? Are you so insecure you can't keep it up without insulting Bill?"

"I don't understand. Why is Bill-"

"Because, I dumped him, you dummy, I ended the marriage. I cheated on him. It...was the right thing to do, for me, but I feel guilty. It's stupid, but I feel guilty. I don't want to think about Bill. I don't want you reminding me of him, especially when we're fucking. Is that so hard to understand?"

"No, but...it's hard sometimes. This is his house. His wife. His kids. His mementoes. His goddamned pictures on the wall, pictures of you and him. Why the hell haven't you taken those down? Or why don't you ever come to my place. It would be as easy for you as for me to come here."

"Because that Sodom and Gomorrah you call an apartment complex is crawling with 20-somethings who love rubbing themselves all over you when I'm around, or telling me stories about how great your dick was when they had you six months ago or three months ago. And if they're not doing that, they're talking about music and shows I've never heard of, and looking at me like I'm 90, not 39. It just makes me uncomfortable."

"The same way I'm uncomfortable here."

"You don't have to keep coming around here if it's too much trouble."

"What the hell happened to you, Deb? When you called me, it seemed like you wanted me back. Was I mistaken?"

"Didn't it seem like I wanted you back? I think screaming how good you are would give you an idea that I was glad you were back."

She wasn't going to tell him about the e-mails. He'd just worry. She trusted Bill not to release them once he'd won on the maintenance, but still...she didn't expect Doug to trust Bill the way she did. And the damned things had shaken her.

She looked down at his cock. It was still so hard it was throbbing.

"Come here," she said, sliding off the bed and heading for the bathroom. After a moment he followed her. She knelt down beside the toilet. She held her hand out to him. He walked toward her, that hard cock bouncing like a metronome.

"What, why in here? What are you-?"

She grabbed his cock and pulled him until he was standing over the open toilet bowl.

"I'm not mean enough to send you home with that bad a case of blue balls."

"Shit, but a blowjob in here? Why not the –"

"No blow job. I'll jerk you off, but that's it. Remember this the next time the urge to insult Bill pops into your head. And the next time, there won't even be a hand job. You can just take care of the problem yourself."

He glared at her for a moment, then shook his head and closed his eyes as she began stroking him.

"Come on, Doug. Come on baby. Give it to me. You know I love it when you squirt inside me so hard. Let me see if this time. Come on. I can feel it building up. Like Old Faithful. Come on, baby, give me a show."

Finally he exploded, one rope of filmy white squirting out after another. Most hit the water but some hit the side of the toilet. It was like directing a high pressure water hose. She was so damned tempted to cap the well, so to speak, with her mouth, but she stopped herself. She wanted him to remember the lesson.

He slumped forward and held the side of the toilet bowl to keep his balance.

"My God, even that was great."

"Yeah, but remember, nothing the next time."

She cleaned him off with toilet paper and cleaned up the toilet after he left. When she came out he was sitting on the bed. She pointed to his slacks hung over a nearby chair.

"Get dressed."

"You're throwing me out?"

"Exactly."

"Shit, that's cold."

She sat down on the bed beside him and grabbed one hand.

"Doug, you remember the last time we talked. I said you were my friend. And you are. I care for you. But it's friendship. It was never anything else. Well, a lot of lust, but friendship. We're great in bed. I love having sex with you,. But-"

"Why isn't it me giving you this speech?"

"I don't know. It never occurred to me that you would..."

"Why not? We're compatible as hell in bed. We're both professionals. I've got a little edge on you in publications and I get more attention because I'm younger, but you have been noticed. Your work on management theory and corporate organization has been talked about. I've had people in the business world say that you would have no problem getting on with any number of firms in this town in an executive position, if you were looking...

"We could make a life for ourselves...if you were willing to even think about it."

"Doug, Doug. You're dreaming and those kinds of dreams could mess up what we do have. In the first place, you're not going to be able to stay in Jacksonville. You were right before. The smart move is to get out before you're fired. Bill screwed us both royally.

"Even though there's nothing in writing, too many people know what happened with Bill. They know the university turned thumbs down on us for embarrassing the institution. Any school or academic institution you go to within a hundred miles will find some legally acceptable reason not to hire you, but the main reason will be that they think you're a stud professor who thinks more about screwing than his job and doesn't mind giving anyplace he works a black eye to score some pussy.

"So, you can't stay, and I'm not going to move, if I can help it. I've got two kids. They go to school here. Their friends are here. Their father is here. He might not have been the best father in the world, but he's their father. And even if they were willing to move, I think Bill would move heaven and earth to stop me, and you've already figured out that he can pretty much get anything he wants in the legal system."

She looked at him and almost felt sorry for him. She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

"Besides, baby, look at us. I'm 39, almost 40. You're 28. When you're 40 I'll be 52 and probably hitting menopause. You're probably going to want kids. I have two and I'm not having any more. I don't want to be going to PTA meetings while I'm having hot flashes. Your friends are not my friends. We don't like the same music."

She reached over and hugged him.

"It's not fair, Doug, but you can't compete with Bill on that. We had our babies together. He was my first great love. Even though it's over, Bill and I have that history together. History we'll never have."

He pushed her away, got up and got dressed. Both kids were out but they'd be back so she slipped on shorts and a thin blouse. She walked Doug to the front door. Before he could open it, she spun him around and leaned up to give him a long kiss.

"I love our time together, Doug. Just don't ask for more than I can give."

He stepped away from her and licked his lips as if to taste her kiss.

"Your trouble, Deb, is that you're too damned picky. You threw away one husband because he got too old and out of shape, and you're throwing away a guy that cares for you because I'm too young and I'm not Bill. I hope to God you find what you're looking for, because otherwise you're going to wind up old and alone, or old and a barfly sitting somewhere trying to pick up college kids."

He opened the door.

"I just wish I'd met you first."

She grabbed his shoulder.

"You are coming back?"

He turned and smiled, then reached out to cup one breast.

"Do I look like an idiot? I'll take what I can get. I'll call you tomorrow."

When he had left she locked the door. Both kids had keys. Then she went to the liquor cabinet and opened it with a key. She pulled the bottle of Goldschlager out. Bill hadn't gotten it when he came back to pick up his things and she had always liked it as well as he did. She poured a shot glass full and went back into their bedroom. Turning on the television, she ignored a pile of papers to be graded. She could afford to goof off one night.

She clicked on the DirecTV TiVo unit and found a re-run she'd missed of the new medical show, "House." She liked the show, even though she hardly ever got to watch the shows as they aired, because it was quality television.

She also liked it, because while she could never pin it down, the lead character invariably reminded her of Bill. Which was stupid. Actor Hugh Laurie was tall, slender, with a full head of hair. Maybe, she thought, it was because House was an asshole with no personal life obsessed by his job. And he was the best at it. That must be it.

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Monday - July 11, 2005 – 10 p.m.

She jerked awake. Her face was lying on a wet pillow. She had drooled in her sleep. The empty shot glass of Goldschlager sat on the nightstand. She glanced blearily at the big screen television in front of the bed, There was a blank blue screen. She woozily tried to remember if she'd seen the end of "House." She had. But for the life of her she couldn't remember what had come on next.

She shook herself and then unsteadily sat up and rolled her feet off the side of the bed.

Something had woke her up, but in the mists of first wakening, she couldn't pinpoint it. Had it been a noise? Had one of the kids come in?

She strained to hear, but there was nothing. Normally she'd hear the air conditioning humming in the 90 degree night, but she couldn't even hear that. It was as if she had cotton stuck in her ears. She got to her feet and made sure she was steady, then walked to the bedroom door and looked out. The lights were on. But no sounds. She made her way to Kelly's room and then Bill Jr. Both were empty.

She turned around and went downstairs.

"Bill, Kelly, are you here? Is anyone here?"

Nothing. Now a sense of unease swept over here. They had kept a Glock in the upstairs safe hidden behind a painting over the desktop. She looked around jumpily. She could make it upstairs if there was an intruder.

"There's no one here. You're all alone."

The voice came out of nowhere. And worse it was familiar. But she couldn't place it.

"Who...what?"

"The children are gone and they're not coming back. They have their own lives now. They don't need you."

She stared around her. She had to be dreaming. That was it. Right now she was upstairs asleep on her bed. This was only a dream and it couldn't hurt her.

"Bill is gone. You think you dumped him, but he dumped you. He was always cheating on you, just like I warned you. But you wouldn't listen. You really think he spent all those nights at the office pouring over court documents. You idiot. He was probably fucking that cow the whole time. Or any of the other women that spread their legs for him.

"You really are so stupid that you think he stopped fucking you and throwing you down because he lost the desire? He was getting everything he needed at the office. And you really believed he just stopped wanting sex with you because he couldn't get it up. He couldn't get it up because younger women than you were getting all his best moves.

"I told you. Life isn't fair. Guys that look like Bill and have money or power still get all the pussy they want. It's only women that get old. And guys think with their dicks so they don't care how intelligent or accomplished or loving you are. As long as some young slut will fuck them, they don't want you any more."

"No!"

She screamed it out. She hadn't accepted it then, and she wouldn't now.

"He was so damned soft. No woman was going to try to grab him. He was mine, dammit. He loved me."

Soft laughter echoed off the walls.

"Oh, Debbie, you never learned anything I tried to teach you. You don't own a man, you never do. At best you rent them for a few years until they find something younger and softer and with better tits. They aren't loyal. They don't love the way women do. They're dogs. Cunt sniffing dogs every one of them.

"And, Doug, your young stud. You know he was fucking one of those pool bunnies five minutes after he got back to his place. Don't you? And why wouldn't he? Look at yourself.

Without transition, she was standing in front of the upstairs full length bathroom mirror. She was naked. She stared at the image in front of her. When had her breasts turned into flabby sacks of tissue? The tops were lined with wrinkles. When had her waist gotten so loose, so blobby? And her ass and hips. Larded with cellulite. She started to cry. Even knowing it was only a dream, she felt like something was breaking inside her.

"I am more than this. I am a mother and a professional woman. I am a professor at a major university."

"No, Debbie, you're not. You never have been. You're just a beautiful face and a great body. You were always prettier than I ever was, prettier than any woman around you. You always had guys running to do anything for you. Teachers gave you good grades, professors let you slide on hard assignments. Guys gave you jewelry and took you on trips. Because you were intelligent? Shit. They wanted to fuck you and a lot of them did.

"Even Bill. Your beloved white knight, Bill. You think he came to your rescue that day because he was a wonderful human being? He wanted to fuck you too. And he got you. That's all you have ever been to anyone, a beautiful face and a big pair of tits. But at least you had that. But don't cry now because it's all going away. I told you it would."

She sank to her knees and then sprawled out on the green grass that had in the logic of dreams become her bedroom floor.

A pair of familiar arms enfolded her and she laid her head on a familiar shoulder.

"Poor baby. I wanted you to have better luck than me. You saw what happened with Frank and me. The way he treated me, the way men treated me. I love you, and I just wanted to spare you what they did to me. But you wouldn't listen."

Familiar hands brushed her hair back and wiped her tears away.

"They're all going to leave you, baby. Everyone but me. I will never leave you."

She pressed her face against familiar blonde hair, until she felt herself sliding downwards as the grass opened up to reveal the mound of burial dirt that she sank into like muddy water. She started to struggle to rise, to climb out of the liquid dirt, only to feel strong hands grab hers and hold her with unyielding strength

As the dirt rose to her breasts and her shoulders and her chin, she started to scream, while the hands held her down firmly and that familiar voice told her, "We will be together forever now."

She was sitting up on the bed, coughing and gasping for air. For a moment it almost felt like her throat was obstructed with wet dirt, but as the remnants of nightmare dissipated, she was able to catch her breath and relaxed as she realized there was nothing in her throat. She lay back on the pillow and breathed deeply.

What a nightmare! It had been a couple of months since she'd had one like that. She realized she was drenched in sweat, She went into the bathroom, took a quick shower, and dried off and put on clean pajamas. For just a moment she let herself remember the dream and then she started to cry. She made herself stop. What had happened had happened. She had tried to save her, but that was beyond anybody's power.

She found herself crying again. You don't stop loving someone just because they're put under the ground.

But while the woman buried in a plot at a small private cemetery only five miles away was gone, Debbie told herself SHE was still here. And her two kids were here. Even if Bill would never let her into his life again, if Doug walked away, there were other men. There would always be other men. She got up and stripped off in front of the real life full length bathroom mirror.

She inspected herself critically. Her breasts sagged, but so what. They weren't bags of suet yet. They might sag, but they still kept their shape. The nipples were still hard and firm. She let her breath out. She might be a hair over a 28 in the waist, but not much.

She tried to turn so she could see her ass. It was still tight enough that men stared in anything fairly close fitting. She didn't even have to twitch it. As one member of the faculty had said during an unsuccessful seduction campaign, her ass just naturally twitched. She didn't have to work at it.

She wasn't a 19-year-old, but men weren't about to kick her out of bed, either.

She started to go back to the bed, but stopped, There was a time when Bill would have been there to hold her after a nightmare like that. But he was gone now. Doug was gone, and in any case, he wasn't Bill. She just didn't want to sleep there alone tonight.