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Jim snorted. "And that's the truth!" He sobered. "But then, what can I do? Maybe a disguise?"
"Your mind is a good one, and it has already chosen the most logical object for this endeavor."
"You mean you."
"Of course. The one person whose loyalty is unquestionable, whose physical stamina is up to the task, and whose regard for you would ensure that he satisfies this need as willingly as he does your other needs."
Jim squirmed, both aroused and disgusted by the very thought. "But what would it do to us? You're the best thing in my life, the one person I love more than theEnterprise. I would rather quit Starfleet than ruin what's between us."
"Performing such activities with you would not undermine my love for you, nor would it it reduce the respect in which I hold you. If anything, it would merely enhance my already high opinion of your bravery. But there is a danger, and that danger is your own emotions. You would have to be able to look at me without guilt afterward, to see my participation as the freely-chosen action of an independent adult. If you are unable to do that, then your guilt could undermine our personal relationship."
"Wouldit be freely chosen? Don't you feel obligated to keep me safe, to keep our crew safe? Don't you feel that you are not just my best choice but basically my only choice?"
"Jim? How many times have I stepped in front of you, to take a hit that was meant for you, one that I could survive better than you could?"
"Too many to count."
"How guilty do you feel afterward?"
Jim caressed Spock's chest as he thought. "I do feel a little bit guilty, even now, but I've had four years to come to terms with it. The truth is that youaretougher than I am, physically; youcanshrug off things that would incapacitate me. I still don't like it when you do it, but I've made peace with the fact that you're right; it really is better for the ship when you take the hit."
Spock raised an eyebrow. "The exercise is left for the student to complete."
Jim picked up his head and banged it down again on Spock's shoulder. "Damn you, why are you always right?"
Spock wisely did not answer.
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