White Trash Mouse Ch. 10

Notice: Not all of you were rude to me about the last chapter, but to those who were: BACK OFF! Do you want a story or not? Stories have relationships, conflicts, and yes, disappointments. Just because you may not be pleased with what is happening in the plot at the moment, that is no reason to be nasty, and it certainly isn't a reason for some of the harassment I've gotten. I'm here to give my readers a STORY and those of you who don't want that, stop reading. I'm not going to haul back on the reins of my ideas because you don't like it...and as you can see, I'm certainly not afraid to step on some toes.

Chapter Ten: Resolution

Rainer stared moodily at his cheeseburger. He was never very enthusiastic about Burger King food to begin with; now it just seemed to make him more depressed. In the last three weeks since graduation, his mood had swung constantly between anger and sadness. Currently, he was set on sadness. Despite everything, Rainer was missing Mouse terribly. He hadn't seen or heard from her since, although he hadn't really expected too.

He didn't notice until the last moment that someone was walking towards him. Looking him, he stared hard, trying to recognize the redhead. She was small, a little pudgy, and she looked upset. I know her from somewhere, Rainer thought. Isn't she...Mouse's friend? Kara, or something? He couldn't imagine what she could possibly want with him, but she sat down across from him and gazed at him grimly.

"Have you seen her?" Kara asked.

"Of course not," Rainer answered morosely. "She doesn't want anything to do with me."

"Just as I fear," Kara sighed. "I knew something was wrong when she skipped the graduation ceremony. I can't believe she's doing this again."

"Oh, she's done this before?" Rainer asked sardonically. "Great, at least I'm not the only idiot to be duped by her."

Kara turned her pale green eyes on him and blinked, confused. What? Rainer thought. Does she expect me to not be angry or something? If she's going to lecture me, I'm so out of here. But Kara only sat back, frowning thoughtfully, and twisting a strand of hair around her finger.

"I keep forgetting that you haven't really known her long," Kara said finally. "At least, not long enough to realize what she's doing. I should have figured it would happen eventually."

"What are you talking about?" Rainer demanded.

Kara sighed. "Mouse is...paranoid, maybe? She gets it in her head that she's a detriment to someone she cares about, and then does everything in her power to push them away. She's done it to me numerous times."

"Then why are you still friends with her?" Rainer asked.

"I'm stubborn," Kara replied, grinning. "And maybe a bit dense, too. The first few times I didn't even notice. By the time I caught on, I knew her well enough to realize she was someone worth sticking with, despite her problems."

Rainer sat back and sighed. He didn't know what to think about what Kara was telling him. There's a good chance she's wrong, he thought. She was dense enough not to notice before, why should this time be any different? He had to fight hard, though, because he desperately wanted to believe Kara. She was so cold that day, Rainer thought. Could it really have all been an act? He just couldn't allow himself to hope.

"Well, anyway," Kara said, interrupting his thoughts. "I haven't seen her either. And when I called her parents house, they told me that she'd moved out."

"Really?" Rainer raised his eyebrows, surprised. "I didn't think she had the money for that."

"Neither did I," Kara told him. "I always figured we'd get a place together after high school, but like I said, I haven't heard from her."

Rainer didn't know what to think. Maybe she decided to ditch Kara, too, he thought. After all, she certainly isn't part of the popular crowd. But none of his friends, Blake especially, had mentioned anything about Mouse. He would think that Blake would want to rub it in if he and Mouse were dating. What could she possibly be doing? Rainer wondered.

He let Kara have his cheeseburger; his appetite was completely gone. After a quick good-bye, he left the Burger King and started walking home. He'd been doing a real lot of walking lately. Walking and thinking. But Rainer's head was buzzing and he couldn't seem to form a lot of clear thoughts. Instead, images of Mouse played in his mind's eyes. The way she laughed, the way her eyes turned soft when she smiled, the way she rumpled her curls when she tried to push them out of her face.

In the last three weeks she had filled his thoughts and haunted his dreams. In those dreams she always came to him, telling him that that day in the classroom had actually been the dream, and that everything was just find between them. In some dreams they made love; in others he just held her. And Rainer would wake feeling bereft and sad and angry all at once. He had to find away to get her out of his head before he went crazy.

*****

Mouse sat in the middle of the living room of her new apartment, surrounded by opened, half unpacked boxes. Stuff she'd taken from storage because it wouldn't fit in her foster parents' home. She really should have it all unpacked by now, but she'd been unable to do much of anything but sleep and cry for the last few weeks. In that time she'd lost weight, and she felt even more scrawny and pathetic than usual. Mouse swiped at her eyes, forcing herself not to cry, and went back to rummaging through the boxes.

She found a lot of photos, most of them taken at her grandfather's house or other places she had gone with him. Mouse at age six, sitting on the back of a fat, squat pony at a local fair. At age nine, wearing a painfully bright flower print bathing suit, clinging to a water raft in the pool and baring a grin missing two front teeth. At eleven, sitting on the porch of her grandfather's house, holding a melting ice cream cone that was almost as big as her head. Then there was various ones of her in her early teens, thirteen and fourteen, playing miniature golf, eating pizza, so many things that normal, happy teenagers did.

Mouse pulled a hardcover book from one of the boxes and something came fluttering out from between the pages. She picked it up; it was another photo. This one was at fifteen, standing with her grandfather in front of a grand water fountain, holding up a book and grinning triumphantly. Mouse lifted the book that the photo had fallen out of; it was the same was the one in the picture. She opened it, and her eyes went misty as she read the messy scrawl written on the first page.

"To my grandpa," Mouse read out loud. "My best friend in the whole world."

Once more she found herself crying, this time for her lost grandfather. He had passed away six months after that photo was taken. Mouse hugged the book to her chest and sighed. The front cover was simple, plain white, decorated with a single, stark red rose and a few drops of blood. Beneath the rose was the name of the author. Eva Lynn Bernard; a pseudonym. Opening the book to the back cover, she saw another picture of a grinning, fifteen-year old girl.

The book gave her an idea. I can never make up for what I've done, Mouse thought, but there is one thing I can do. Reaching into the box, she found another copy of the book. She scrambled around the room until she found a pen, and quickly scrawled something on the first page. It was sloppy, but it would have to do. Mouse dressed quickly, pulling on a pair of clean shorts and a t-shirt. She slipped her feet into a pair of beat up flip flips and raced out of her apartment to her car.

*****

Rainer lay on his bed, staring morosely at the ceiling. I've got to stop thinking about her, he thought desperately. She pushed me out of her life and she isn't going to come back. The more his thought about it, the more he believed what Kara had told him. Mouse had opened up to him in the last few months, but he always sensed that she was holding a part of herself back. Now, Rainer remembered the flash of sorrow he'd seen in her eyes that day. He was starting to think that perhaps he hadn't imagined it.

The doorbell rang, and he jumped, startled. Who could that be? he wondered, sitting up. His parents were home, and rarely did anyone come to the door when they were home. All their business was conducted in offices or expensive restaurants. Rainer stood up and padded out of his room, his bare feet quiet on the marble tile. He could hear voices coming from the living room.

"I don't know what you think you're doing here after what you did to our son!"

Rainer froze. He leaned up against the wall, positioning himself so he could see into the living room. The couch where his parents sat was angled slightly away from him, so they didn't notice him standing there. Standing with her back to him, her dark curls a wild mass, was Mouse. She held something under her arm; it looked like a book. What is she doing here? Rainer wondered. He kept himself flat against the wall, hovering in the dim hallway and hoping no one would notice him.

"If you would just listen," Mouse said. "I just came here to apologize! What happened...it was my fault. I...I didn't want to...I didn't want you and Rainer to be so angry at each other! I know I handled it so badly..."

"You think we're going to believe that?" Rainer's mother scoffed. "The only reason you ever stayed with our son was because he's rich and popular, and you're just white trash!"

"It was never about his money!" Mouse shouted. "Or his popularity!"

Rainer thought his mother was going to have a fit. Her face was red and her perfectly manicured hand was curled into a tight fist. What is Mouse doing? he thought frantically. I think my mom might actually hit her! He thought perhaps he should stop them, but...he wanted to hear more. He needed to hear more.

"Look, have you ever heard of a poet named Eva Lynn Bernard?" Mouse asked, taking a deep breath to calm herself.

"Yes," Rainer's mother answered slowly, taken aback and obviously confused by the question. "She's been really popular in England for several years now. What does that have to do with anything?"

Mouse pulled the book out from underneath her arm and flipped it open to the back cover. Rainer's mother gasped, her hands flying to her mouth. The color drained from her face. What...? Rainer wondered, staring. He knew that his mother's favorite poet was Eva Lynn Bernard, but he really didn't understand what that had to do with Mouse. Unless...Rainer thought, Eva Lynn...Evelyn!? No way!

"My grandfather put my money into an account for me," Mouse explained. "Everything I've made since then has gone in there. You see, I'm adopted, and my foster parents are greedy. When I was still a minor, there wasn't much stopping them from taking my money for themselves. To protect me, he made certain only I could open the account, and not until I graduated from high school. Why would I be after Rainer for his money?"

Rainer could feel his heart pounding fiercely. I don't understand, he thought, stepping back into the hallway and resting against the wall. Why is she even here? He wanted to believe it, all of it. But the fact remained that she had hurt him badly. Even if it had all been an act, he didn't know how he was supposed to get over it. A loud slapping noise startled him. It didn't sound like someone hitting someone else. Rainer guessed it was the book hitting the coffee table.

"Keep it," Mouse said. "I know that I hurt someone I love. But you hurt Rainer too. You just couldn't be happy for him. Maybe next time he finds someone that makes him happy, you'll remember this."

Rainer heard the slap-slap of her flip flops as she stomped out of the living room, followed closely by the front door slamming. He waited for long moments, uncertain what to do. Finally he walked out into the living room, to find his mother holding the book, looking stunned. He raced to the front door and yanked it open, but there was no sign of Mouse's car. Damnit, Rainer thought, I don't know how to find her!

"Rainer," His mother called softly.

He spun to face her, feeling annoyed. She was holding the book up, opened to the first page.

"There's an address," His mother told him.

Rainer strode across the room and grabbed the book from his mother. Indeed, there was an address, written in rather untidy scrawl on the front page. It didn't matter; he could read it enough to know what it said. Curious, he flipped the book to the last page. There was a picture of Mouse, several years younger, but it was definitely her. Her hair was shorter and the wild curls were tamed into a French braid. Rainer's hands trembled. Clutching the book, he found his sandals, left by the door because they'd been cover in mud. Quickly he pulled them on and raced out to his car.

Her new apartment wasn't that far. Somehow he wasn't surprised to find that it was in a nice, classy building. Why wouldn't she live somewhere luxurious? Rainer thought. After living in that house for so long, she must be in heaven. He found a parking spot and got out of his car, walking quickly to the door. There were only six apartments in the building, and it was rather large. Rainer tapped the buzzer for apartment four, and a moment later the door opened for him.

He trotted up the steps to the second floor and stopped in front of the door marked four. Taking a deep breath, Rainer knocked on the door. He heard someone shuffling around inside, then the door swung open. Mouse stood in the doorway, looking stunned. Her curls were tamed beneath a bandanna and she was holding dustpan. Sweat damped her skin and there was a smudge of dirt on one cheek. She looks beautiful, Rainer thought.

"R...Rainer..." Mouse stammered.

Tears welled up in her soft brown eyes. Rainer stepped into the apartment, closing the door behind himself. He pulled her into his arms and held her tight, feeling her shoulders shake with soft sobs. Rainer rested his head atop hers, inhaling deeply; despite the fact that she'd been working hard, she still smelled so nice. He settled his hands on her hips and pulled back slightly, looking down at her.

"Did you mean what you said?" Rainer asked quietly.

"Wha...what?" Mouse stammered.

"When you said you loved me," Rainer reminded her.

Mouse lifted her head. Her brown eyes were wide and liquid, filled with tears, but she was smiling. She reached up, catching his head in her hands, and pulled his mouth down to hers. Rainer closed his arms around her, meeting her kiss with equal enthusiasm. He sighed as her teeth nibbled timidly at his lower lip.

"Of course I love you, Rainer," Mouse murmured against his mouth. "I'm not certain why, exactly, but I know I do."

He didn't give her time to say anything more. Pulling her tight against him, he ravaged her mouth with energetic kisses. Mouse responded in kind, her tongue shyly meeting his. Rainer braced his hands on her narrow ribcage and tugged her with him, trying to find a place to sit or lay. When she slid her hands beneath his shirt, gently dragging her fingertips along his skin, he groaned and nipped at her lower lip. Mouse squeaked in surprise, the sound petering off into soft laughter.

"This place better have a bedroom," Rainer growled huskily, nipping at her earlobe.

Mouse chuckled breathlessly. "Door on the left."

Rainer lifted his head and glanced to the left. The bedroom door was slightly ajar, but he couldn't see in. He swooped Mouse up into his arms, drawing a startled laugh from her, and shoved open the door into the bedroom. There were a few open boxes here and there, and the bed, sheets and blankets rumpled. Rainer allowed Mouse down to her feet, but kept his hold on her, kissing her once more as he backed her towards the bed. His hands wandered beneath her shirt and forced it up over her breasts. She pulled out of his grip long enough to tug her shirt off and toss it aside, then threw herself back into the kiss passionately.

Rainer slid his hands up over her ribs and around her sides, reaching behind her to find the clasp of her bra. When he got it off, his hands wandered back to her stomach, then slowly up to cup her breasts. Mouse shivered, moaning softly as he dropped his head to her breasts, gently scraping his teeth along her skin. Her small hands tugged at his shirt demandingly. Chuckling, he let go of her long enough to pull it off, then wrapped his arms around her once more and tumbled her to the bed.

Growling, Rainer pushed away a pile of blankets that threatened to get tangled around them. He sat back, grabbing the waistband of Mouse's shorts, and tugging them down. For a moment he paused to admired the contrast of leopard print panties against her pale skin; they were the kind that tied on the sides, he loved that. Grinning, Rainer tugged the ties loose and tugged the panties away from her. He slid a hand between her thighs, forcing them open, and slid his fingers up against her tender flesh. Mouse cooed softly, lifting her hips into his touch. She was already so wet.

"I think you missed me," Rainer said, grinning.

"Yeah, I suppose I did," Mouse agreed, her eyes sparking mischievously. "Say, doesn't that hurt?"

Rainer laughed as he opened his jeans, then sighed in relief. "Not anymore."

Mouse reached up, setting her hands on his shoulders. Rainer leaned forward so she could wind her arms around his neck. He slid inside her, sighing softly at the feel of her warm body tight around him. She tilted her head up to kiss him, and he met her mouth tenderly, drawing her lower lip into his mouth and suckling gently. He felt her move her hips to meet his with each thrust, and savored the way her body clenched around his. Rainer slowly trailed his mouth along the line of her jaw, and down along her slender throat.

The thin sheen of sweat that soon broke out along her skin made her seem as though she glowed beneath the dusty light of sunset that spilled in through the window. Rainer pressed his face into her slightly damp hair, holding onto her tightly. He could feel the shudders of her body and hear her heart pounding loudly. Mouse tangled her fingers in his hair and pressed her face against his neck, stifling her moans. Rainer allowed himself to sink into the tight hold of her arms, as the feeling of her body clenching around him sent him into his own wave of shudders.

For a long time he held her tight, resting inside her. The sun dropped below the horizon and disappeared, sending the room into darkness. Rainer finally drew out of her and settled beside her, keeping her close to him. Mouse rested her head against his chest, her eyes closed in contentment, her lips curled in a slightly smile. He trailed his fingers through her hair idly, listening to the sound of her breaths.

"It's so strange," Mouse murmured.

"What?" Rainer asked.

"This," Mouse answered. "You and me. When I found your notebook that night...I just wanted to get it back to you, and that was it. I would never have thought that this would come of it."

Rainer nodded. "I think it was a good thing you ran into me that day. I think my life would be so much less without you."

"This isn't going to be easy, you know," Mouse told him. "I'm not the easiest person to deal with, by far. As you can see, I have a tendency to screw things up."

"I'm willing to try if you are," Rainer said.

Mouse smiled up at him. He gazed into her warm brown eyes and found himself smiling, too. It really amazed him, how far they'd come in such a short time. It's all right if she's difficult, Rainer thought, settling his hand on her back as she started to drift off to sleep. When you care about someone, you care about all of them...you can't pick and choose the parts you love. Besides, he had a feeling that, no matter what obstacles they came up against, she would always be his Mouse.