Winter Dance

Maybe Megan was right and they would always be best friends and always have time for each other even if they lived a thousand miles apart. Beth wanted to believe that in the worst way and hoped that it would be. She wished she shared the same optimism, but she was too full of doubts.

* * *

Ev and his family arrived just a few minutes after five o'clock and the gym looked like it didn't need anything more done to it, at least in Ev's estimation it didn't. Parents and students were putting the last finishing touches on everything. Red and white balloons, ribbons, streamers and hearts were everywhere and each table had either a red or white tablecloth. Ev's parents left them and headed toward Lydia Johnson, along with her husband, Bob, who were in charge of the dance. When it was apparent that their help wasn't needed, Doug and Ev went their separate ways.

Ev found a remote table in the darkest corner of the gym and sulked. Even the decorations and glitter angered him. He could have told them that everything would have been in order and that they didn't need to be there so early, but there was no telling his mom or dad anything. They just had to be there an hour early, had to give him an extra hour of boredom and pain as proof to him that he shouldn't have screwed up the year before. Ah, lovely memories!

If only Ev had been able to make it to his room that night without throwing up on the plush beige carpet. Passing out on the sofa didn't help matters, either. Of course, the half empty bottle of Jack Daniels sitting out sealed his fate. The stupid thing was, he still didn't know why he did it. He didn't drink much, didn't like to drink anyway, and certainly didn't like the taste of the stuff that got him into trouble. It was a night when everyone had a place to go except for him. His parents had a business dinner to attend, Cory had a date, Doug was spending the night with his friends, and Amanda was out of town for the weekend, so Ev was left alone for the evening. He remembered taking a few sips of his father's whiskey out of sheer boredom, thinking it would relax him. The taste wasn't as bad as he remembered and he took a couple more swallows. The rest of the night was a blank except for his mother screaming at him when they got home.

"The hell with it," Ev said to no one in particular. The only good thing about his punishment was he only had a few more weeks until the wonderful one year anniversary arrived and he would be allowed to, once again, be left home alone. Unfortunately, he was sure his mother would bitterly lecture him to his breaking point and remind him of what he did should he want to stay home in the future. He was sure of that.

As six o'clock approached, people began trickling in. From his vantage point, Ev could see almost everything, but he didn't see Amanda or any of his friends. Just before six o'clock struck, Ev saw Will and Brian come through the doors by themselves. Ev left the table and ambled over to them.

"It's about time you guys got here," Ev said as he greeted them. "I was just about to go crazy with boredom waiting on you. Where's Kim and Connie?"

"They're in the bathroom with about a thousand other girls," Brian answered. "No date?"

"Didn't think I was coming. Silly me."

"Too bad," Will said. "We'll let you sit with us anyway. Let's get a table near the snacks and drinks."

"Always thinking about your stomach," Brian said as he feigned to punch Will in the gut.

Will overreacted and tried to block the imaginary punch. "Nope, just don't want to have to dodge and duck everyone trying to get back to the table."

"Not a bad idea, " Ev agreed.

They found a table to their liking and sat down. Talking about school and sports amongst themselves, they barely noticed when the lights dimmed and music began to play.

"I'd better go to the lobby and find Kim and Connie," Will said. "They'll never find us otherwise." He left without waiting for a comment and wove his way to the lobby through the dancing couples.

A few minutes later, he came back with the girls in tow. Kim, Brian's date, was a tall, pale blonde with striking blue eyes. Ev always liked her because she was always nice to him and always seemed to have a smile on her face. Connie, Will's date, was a pretty, short brunette with gray eyes who constantly worried about her weight. Ev thought that was totally unnecessary because of her comeliness, but that was Connie. He liked her a lot as well. She reminded him vaguely of Amanda, but had a sweeter disposition.

Another couple, John Hollencamp and Missy Eldridge, came and sat with the group a few minutes later as the gym began to fill up with earnest. The dance floor was crowded whenever a slow song was played. Chaperones kept a constant eye out for couples who were showing a little too much affection, on the dance floor and off.

In spite of being dateless, Ev found that he was having a good time. His friends were there with him and his parents showed good taste in leaving him alone and not embarrassing him. Occasionally, he saw Cory and Doug with their dates, but that was only once or twice. Try as he might to fight it, a pang of jealousy went through him when he was by himself at the table during a slow dance. Memories of previous dances with Amanda went through his head, memories of holding her close and feeling the warmth of her body against his was almost more than he could take. He could take heart in the fact that he hadn't seen her or Greg yet and that was a good thing.

His good humor diminished suddenly and without warning as he scanned the dance floor during a particularly romantic song, one that he and Amanda had danced to many times before. He didn't see them at first, but then his eyes caught sight of her long red hair, the curve of her hips, and her long legs. Her face was turned upward and her mouth was open in laughter at something witty that Greg might have said. Ev couldn't tell. He stared at them as they swayed easily to the rhythm of the slow beat.

Ev's chest tightened and his hands became damp with fear and anger. He hadn't known what to expect when he saw them together like that, so different than seeing them in the halls at school, and he wasn't sure what he would feel. Pain? Hurt? Regret? Now, it was happening right in front of him and he was finding it difficult to breathe. Anger was rising within him, but he couldn't decide with whom he was more angry, Amanda or Greg. It didn't seem to matter much at that point. In his mind, he knew it would be better if he would just turn away and not watch them, but he couldn't. Morbid curiosity took over and Ev found he couldn't take his eyes off them.

It wasn't until the song ended and she kissed Greg that Ev felt the rage boil within himself. It was nothing more than a friendly kiss, but it sent Ev over the edge. He got up from his chair abruptly and took a few steps in their direction not knowing what he would say or do. What was he going to do once he got there? Throw a tantrum? After a few more steps he stopped and sighed. His rage had dwindled to anger and sadness with a little bit of helplessness mixed in for good measure. Ev turned and walked quickly towards the lobby wanting to get away for a while. Head down, he didn't see Brian and Kim walking in his direction; he wasn't seeing much of anything at that moment.

"Hey Ev," Brian said. "What's up?"

Ev, startled out of his thoughts, looked up and almost didn't recognize his friend. "Need some air," he replied numbly.

"You okay?" Brian eyed him curiously as if trying to determine if Ev had sneaked a drink or two.

"Not really, but I'll survive," Ev replied before moving past them.

Kim looked at Brian and said, "What's up with him?"

Thoughts of following Ev and confronting him went through Brian's mind, but he decided against it. He decided to check on him in a few minutes if he didn't come back.

Ev blindly pushed through the lobby doors and almost crashed into a girl coming from the opposite direction.

"Watch where you're going, you idiot!" she exclaimed as he pushed by without looking back. He walked on and went through another set of doors that led to the main part of the school. The girl shook her head in disgust before looking in his direction once again. "Ev?" she said. She thought she recognized him in that brief instant.

Hurrying past the swinging doors that he had just gone through, Beth saw him turn the corner of the next corridor. "Hey Ev, wait up," she called as she followed him.

Ev thought he heard his name, but his emotions were probably playing tricks on him. He stopped at a water fountain and took a quick drink, feeling the water go down his throat to an empty stomach. He wanted to cry, wanted to yell, wanted to hit something and make the pain go away. Hot stinging tears clouded his eyes as he stooped down for another drink.

"Hey Ev," a soft voice said to him.

Ev jerked up from surprise and immediately brought his hands to his face to wipe the tears away. He didn't recognize the owner of the voice at first, his eyes not ever seeing her in a dress or makeup before.

"Beth?"

"Yeah. You almost ran me down back there."

"I did? I didn't know. Sorry," he stammered.

"It's alright," she shrugged. Beth eyed him and saw the anger in his face, the grimness of his demeanor. "Are you okay," she asked.

Ev wiped his eyes again with the back of his hand and snuffled. "Me? Yeah, I'm okay, I guess." His mannerisms displayed anything but.

"You don't seem to be."

Head down, Ev replied, "No, I guess not."

"So, what's up?"

"Nothing."

"I think we've been through this already," Beth said. Intuitively, she felt he needed to talk. She could hear the faint sounds of music making their way to where they were standing. She looked in that direction, then back to Ev. "Want to talk about it?"

Ev shrugged, not knowing what to do. He didn't know Beth very well and wondered why she was so concerned, especially after their conversation in class that day. He looked at her and sighed. She looked so different than that morning with the dress and makeup and everything. She was very pretty, in fact.

"How did your test go?" he asked, deflecting her question.

"It went fine, no thanks to you," she teased. "If you had left me alone, I might have done better."

"Sorry," he mumbled, looking down at his shoes. Ev stuck his hands in his pockets and sighed again.

Beth reached forward and touched his sleeve. "Hey, I was kidding. It went fine."

"Okay."

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" she asked softly.

Ev stiffened and looked away briefly. "I don't know," he managed to say. "Lots of things going on, I guess."

"Bad things?"

Ev shrugged. "I didn't even want to come tonight, but I had to."

"Had to?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "My folks made me."

"I'm not following," Beth replied.

"No, I guess you wouldn't." Ev smiled slightly. "Want to take a walk? This may take a while."

"Sure," Beth said and they began walking down the dimly lit corridor.

"You see," Ev began, "about a year ago, I really screwed up and got grounded for a year, sort of."

"A year?" Beth asked incredulously.

"Well, sort of," Ev replied. "I'm just not allowed to be by myself." He proceeded to tell her about his escapade and the consequences. Beth listened intently without interruption. Ev inhaled deeply as he neared the end of the explanation. "So, I thought maybe they would let me stay home since the year is almost up."

"Why didn't you want to come? No date?" Anger crept across Ev's face and then diminished. Beth immediately regretted asking.

"Well, my girlfriend and I broke up a few months ago and I didn't feel like seeing her with her new boyfriend. You might know her, Amanda Pierson."

Beth shook her head. "And you saw them?"

"Yeah."

"I see."

"I think I was pretty much okay until they kissed."

"Ouch. Sorry to hear that."

"Me too."

They walked in silence until they came to a student lounge. Ev sat down first and Beth sat down next to him.

"It must have really sucked to see that," Beth remarked.

"Yeah, it did. I knew it would be bad if I saw them together, but it was much worse to…" He didn't finish as he looked away.

"Yeah," Beth agreed, "I think I would be feeling the same." She waited for him to look back at her. "So, what are you going to do now? Are you going back to the dance?"

Ev shrugged indifferently. "I don't know. What about you? Why were you away from it? Did you have a fight with your date?"

Beth rolled her eyes and shook her head. "I didn't have a date. I came with my friend, Megan."

Ev took this in and was surprised. "I thought you'd have a date. You look really nice tonight."

"Thanks," Beth replied as she felt her cheeks get suddenly warmer. "You dress up nicely, too."

Ev smiled. "Yeah, I guess so." He leaned forward with his hands between his knees. "I'm sorry about this morning in class. I should have left you alone…."

"That's okay."

"…and for running into you."

"It's okay. No harm done."

Ev sighed and leaned back again. "Maybe we should be getting back."

"If you want," she replied, not all that anxious to return.

"You don't want to?" he asked.

"Most of my friends who said they were coming didn't show and Megan's too preoccupied with her boyfriend, so I'm not in any hurry. I don't think I've been missed."

"Same here," Ev laughed.

He looked away for an instant, composing the thoughts in his mind before finding Beth again. She really did look pretty to him, not that he found her unattractive before. He just would never guess she would look as nice as she did had he not been with her these few minutes.

"Thanks for talking to me," he continued. "I really appreciate it."

"You're welcome," Beth replied softly. "Let's just say it's payback for all the times you helped me with Algebra."

"It wasn't that many times," he protested, "and besides, I probably undid all the good this afternoon!"

Beth laughed lightly. "You did nothing of the sort. I told you I did fine on the test."

"Still…" his voice drifted.

"There you are," Brian's voice cut through them from across the lounge. They both jumped slightly from the interruption. "I was wondering where you went off to."

"I just needed a break," Ev replied as he regained his composure.

"And you said you wouldn't be missed," Beth teased. Ev smiled sheepishly.

"Well, I can see you're busy, so I'll be heading back," Brian said.

"We were just talking, Brian." Ev explained. "We were about to head back anyway..."

"We were?" Beth whispered. Ev shot her a look.

"…but thanks for checking."

"No problem," Brian replied, grinning. He turned heel and left as quietly as he had arrived.

Beth giggled as Ev watched his friend walk away. "It's a good thing we were just talking. He'd have some story to tell."

"Brian's a good guy. He wouldn't say a thing except that he found me." Ev smiled to himself.

Standing up, Beth said, "I guess we should be getting back. Megan might actually be wondering where I am."

Ev stood as well and thought for a moment. "Would you want to sit with me and my friends, I mean since we don't have dates. There's room at our table."

Different thoughts went through Beth's head as she contemplated the invitation. Was he asking her because he liked her or was he trying to get even with his ex-girlfriend? "I don't know," she answered, stalling for time.

"Oh," he said, sounding disappointed.

She heard the sadness in his voice and construed he wanted her to sit with him as a friend and not for revenge. "I mean, I need to talk to Megan since we came together, that's all," Beth said quickly.

"Oh, okay," he brightened. "No problem."

They made their way back to the dance without saying anything. Beth found Megan and Eric without difficulty and informed Megan of her plans.

"I know him," Megan said. "He seems like a nice enough guy."

"He's helped me with Algebra before," Beth explained.

"Just let me know if I'm still taking you home."

"Of course I'm going with you," Beth said. "I'm certainly not going home with him!"

As she walked away, Beth wondered about her decision. Was she trying to get back at Megan because she was being so chummy with Eric? Wasn't she the one who wanted to spend time with her best friend before graduation? She shook the thoughts from her head as she found Ev and his friends. Beth knew them all from taking classes together or from other mutual acquaintances. Ev held a chair for her and she sat down next to him. While everyone else was chattering about this or that, Ev became quiet as the band took a short break.

Beth noticed this right away and thought it a bit strange since he seemed to open up to her without too much difficulty. She noticed him glancing across the dance floor from time to time and knew who he was looking for. She guessed she shouldn't be angry with him for that, but she did feel slightly neglected. After all, it was he who invited her to join him.

"I love your dress, Beth," Connie gushed from across the table, breaking Ev and Beth's thoughts. "Where did you get it?"

"Pinedale's," Beth replied. It was a local women's department store. "I wanted this other one, but my mom wouldn't go for it. Too sophisticated for a high school dance, I guess." Too sophisticated unless I was ten years older, she mused to herself.

"Oh, I shop there all the time," Connie continued. "I'll probably get my prom dress there."

"Me too," agreed Kim.

"Where are you going for your prom dress, Beth?" Missy asked.

"Well," Beth said, a bit embarrassed about not having been asked, "I don't know yet. I haven't thought about it."

"You'd better think about it soon because all the really pretty ones will be sold out," Kim chimed in. "I've already ordered mine."

"I didn't know they even had the prom dresses out yet," Beth said.

"Oh, they don't," Kim replied, "but they have them online and I saw one I just had to have."

"I think I'll wait and shop when they come out," Connie said.

"Me too," Missy agreed.

Things went quiet again and even the guys seemed a little bit bored. Ev stared off into space for a moment or two before glancing in Amanda's direction again. Her back was to him and Greg was to the left of her talking in animated gestures. Ev wondered what they were talking about and almost wished he was there talking to her instead of Greg. Almost. Anger was again creeping into his system and that negated any romantic feelings he may have had deep within him. Part of him still wanted her as a girlfriend, but he knew that was a silly notion to have. Once again, thoughts drifted back to when she unceremoniously dumped him. I think we need to date other people. Hit him like a ton of bricks. And it still hurt.

Ev shook his head slightly as if to clear all images of Amanda from his memory, then glanced at Beth who was eyeing him coolly. Crap, now she's mad. The band had started to play once again, a lively tune in which Ev took no interest. John and Missy left the table to dance and Brian and Kim followed soon thereafter. Ev leaned over to Beth and said, "Can I get you anything to drink? Punch? Soda?"

Beth shook her head. "No, I'm fine. Thanks." Curt, short, to the point.

Ev nodded sheepishly and inwardly chastised himself for being such a jerk. Why wouldn't she be upset? You're the one who asked her to sit with you. Say something, you idiot!

"You look really nice tonight."

"Thanks." A small smile followed.

Okay, okay, she's not too mad. "Any college plans?"

"University of Louisville."

"Louisville? Why Louisville?"

Beth rolled her eyes. "It's got a great journalism school."

"Journalism? I thought you'd be more into Quantum Physics!" Ev grinned.