Within Ch. 02byLuthienEllesar©
Wow. I'm very happy with the rating I'm getting on these chapters. Thanks to everyone who votes. Once again, sorry, but no sex just yet. The first 3 chapters are all background that is quite boring, but must be told. There should be a bit more action by the 4th or so chapter. Thanks to everyone who reads.
A week or two later we were all moved in. My room was arranged as my mother wanted, as usual, despite my comments of where I wanted things. For the first night I was stuck on a mattress on the floor, which I didn't really mind. I liked sleeping on the floor. I didn't mind my high four poster bed, but sleeping on a mattress on the floor was different, and therefore, exciting. I couldn't fall asleep; it was far too exciting, being in a new house. I waited for both of my parents to come tuck me in, as they still did every night.
After I could hear the melodic sound of twin snores coming from their room, I rose and crossed to the window, pulling back the shade and opening it. My mother always forbade me from opening the blinds; she thought someone was waiting outside to look in. I looked out onto the small square of half green, half yellow grass that was the lawn. In the moonlight it almost looked halfway decent. There was nothing else in the room but the mattresses, and as I turned I was struck with how small it was, even with just that... and how empty. I was struck with a moment of utter aloneness and I raced for the mattresses, huddling under the covers as if they would protect me. I always had had that notion in my head, that my covers and my stuffed animals were all powerful and would protect me. I used to sleep with about thirty of them around me, on me, around me, and under me. For some reason, in my small, childish mind, I thought they would come alive and protect me if any nasty thing came in the night to attack me. I was also under the impression that my covers were an impenetrable shield, and if they were completely wrapped around me up to my chin I was safe.
After a few moments more of waiting for something to spring up at me out of the darkness, I racked up enough courage to open my eyes, half expecting some horrible apparition to be standing beside my bed, glaring down at me. I wasn't afraid of what the creatures my mind conjured up would DO to me; I was simply terrified of seeing them, of opening my eyes and seeing them glowering down at me. I haven't the faintest idea why, it was absolutely absurd, what damage could they do staring down at me? But terrified of that I was. After glancing fearfully about the room for quite some time, I ventured out of bed once more, clinging to the vestiges of my childhood in the form of a ratty teddy bear I'd had since my birth.
I padded over to the window once more, dragging the mattress over beneath it and sitting down, leaning against the wall under the window. I closed my eyes for a moment. After a few peaceful moments of sitting like that, my eyes flew open. That damned breeze was back, flitting across my eyelids, denying me of sleep with its sheer coldness. Outside it was a typical California night, almost as hot as the day. So unless someone had left the fridge open, the breeze was pretty much unexplained. I couldn't fool myself with the breeze off the ocean bit again, there were no windows open. I sat puzzled for a moment. I'd always very analytical mind, and this problem was simply refusing to be analyzed. I shrugged it off as yet another strange happening. My mind was enough of a fantasy ground as it was without me feeding it further. I'd wished on every piece of jewelry I had, rings, necklaces, bracelets, anklets... anything. I wished on every star I saw, which took me about 3 seconds in California with all the smog. I was literally in a dream world every moment. If I was walking down the street, I was going to get accosted, and beat the man up skillfully and impress Mr. Right, who would happen to be standing there. If I was at the store, I was going to stop a shoplifter. If I was home, someone was going to break in and threaten my parents and I'd slip away and sneak up behind them, knock them out, take their gun, and point it at their accomplice with some deadpan line such as 'Drop it.' I even stood in front of the floor length mirror and practiced such things, enacting everything out.
Needless to say I took anything my own mind told me with a grain of salt. I'd seen UFO's, Dragons, and everything else you shouldn't see with a rational mind. The breeze really wasn't bothering me. In fact, it felt good. I closed my eyes again as it blew across my face, almost caressing it. I sighed to myself, it didn't feel good... it felt wonderful. The soft wind continued ruffling my hair. My eyes still closed, I began speaking out loud, softly, though I had no idea why.
"I'm not really fond of this house. Its small compared to our old one. Where on earth am I going to put all my books?" I sighed slightly, getting up long enough to go to my overnight bag and pull out a hair tie, pulling my shoulder length, frizzy hair back into some semblance of a ponytail. I sat down once more. "
I wish I really did have long red hair and emerald green eyes and alabaster skin. I wish I was pretty."
I never had gotten along well with the children in my church, I was far more concerned with books than boys, and I wasn't in the least bit attractive, rather, people mistook me for a boy occasionally. I sighed. My freckles and more than the average amount of pimples didn't help to make me attractive. Neither did my gigantically huge coke bottle glasses that I was constantly pushing up on my nose. I was generally a wreck. My skinny figure was nice, but not in the clothes my conservative mother forced me to wear, making me look angular and clumsy. I smiled at my absurdity, talking to the air. Really. I wasn't that far gone.
"Oh well. I suppose I couldn't find anything better to talk to, now could I? Besides. You won't tell anyone my secrets. Like how much I wish I had someone that cared. I mean my father does, but he's never here. My mother may, in some twisted way, but I highly doubt it." I sighed again.
"I feel so... alone sometimes. Like why wake up in the morning, you know?" I smiled slightly.
"If it wasn't for my books I don't know what I'd do. Without them I'd have no way of escaping this world that holds me captive." I smiled slightly.
"But I do escape. I escape to the wilds of Africa, to the forests of Mirkwood, to the canopies of the city skyscrapers towering over me." I opened my eyes.
"I feel idiotic, talking to the air. But I never have been good at keeping a diary. If my mother could hear me she'd say I love hearing the sound of my own voice." I laughed slightly.
"I'd say she was right. It is rather melodic." I laughed again at my own wry joke, then clapped a hand over my mouth as I realized I'd laughed somewhat loudly.
"Ok, time to go to bed." I scrambled under the covers and lay down, the wind once again soothing my forehead and smoothing my hair. As I drifted off to sleep, I swore I felt fingers brushing my cheek, but the startling thought was lost amidst the clouds of sleep as I let myself fall into them. The next thing I knew, it was morning and the sun was beating unmercifully down on my face.