Without You I Have Nothing Ch. 25

In the darkness of early morn, Peter lay awake, thinking of the day ahead. Yes, his sisters had told him they had arranged helicopter transport to take them up country. Yes, he was prepared and yes, he was with his wife.

Looking at the clock he realized it was almost time to leave. He nudged Jennifer until she groaned, "Let me sleep, I'm so tired, just let me sleep."

"Sweetheart, I've been a demanding arrogant husband - bossing you around - buying your clothes - being a real male chauvinistic pig. Please bear with me today and I promise you that after today you'll choose what we're to do.

"However, I'm claiming today as mine, and it will be the last time I boss you. We're equals in this marriage, although right now you are probably thinking otherwise. Today we're flying by chopper to visit my father's grave, my mother's grave and then the Malay aborigines who gave me a life."

"Our day will finish in Penang - the island where my horror began. We'll be staying at one of the great Hotels of the East.

"The 'Peninsular and Orient', the old P&O as it's lovingly called. I'll take you to my old school. Then we'll go to where I lived.

"The ghosts will finally be laid to rest. Just put up with my emotions today. It's really going to be most difficult for me, but with you beside me I'll gain the strength I need."

Within the hour, Jennifer sat between the pilot and Peter in the bubble cockpit with seemingly nothing between her and the soft green below. Clinging tightly to Peter's hand, Jennifer felt the chopper swivel and swoop. She listened to Peter's reassuring voice in her headphones as he calmly navigated their route.

Then, with a stomach-lurching drop, the chopper landed on a wide expanse of green where a road swung around in a big loop. As soon as the blades hissed to a standstill, Peter helped Jennifer to the ground, and hand in hand, they walked across the road to the jungle's edge.

She felt the tension building up in him as his hand tightened in hers. They approached the solitary white cross almost disappearing into the foliage around it. She found it hard to read the brass plaque. 'Squadron Leader... shot... No trace of his wife or son...' was as far as she got before tears began streaming from her eyes.

Peter sank to his knees.

With her hand on his shoulder, Jennifer wondered how she, who was overcome by the heat, the silence, the tranquility and the words on the plaque, could possibly be of any comfort to her husband.

Neither moved until the distant sound of a truck painfully crawling its way up the mountainside broke the silence.

Only then did Peter stand, and with his arm around Jennifer said, "Dad, this is your daughter-in-law whom I love most deeply."

A sudden puff of air plucked at Jennifer's hair and in spite of the intense heat, she shivered.

"Thank you Dad. I'm glad you're pleased."

Mutely they stood until the noise of the truck faded into the distance.

Jennifer jumped as Peter's voice broke across the jungle. "Guide me o Thou Great Jehovah..." and the words seemed to come from his heart with such intensity that Jennifer could only put her arm around his waist hugging him to her.

Slowly and pensively, they walked back to board the tiny chopper again.

Spiralling into the clouds before dashing northwards, the chopper eventually swooped low over the jungle rooftop once more. Soft, lush green seemed to stretch forever until Peter leant across to tap the pilot's leg, pointing down.

Jennifer couldn't see any break in the trees - any clearing - but still the chopper began to float carefully and gently downwards until, with a slight bump, they landed, and the oppressive heat and peacefulness replaced the noise of the engine.

The pilot hastily left the cockpit to stand beside the chopper with a rifle.

"Tiger country, Mem," he commented.

Realizing the danger, Jennifer shuddered at the words.

Peter - a different Peter - dropped to the ground. Crouching low and ignoring Jennifer, he ran towards the derelict huts virtually covered in undergrowth. He didn't stop running until he reached a spot that would once have been in the center of the group of buildings. There he dropped to his knees, ignoring the mud.

Jennifer could hear the wail of his agony as he looked at four wooden faded white pegs still hammered into the ground and showing signs of loving care.

Not wanting to intrude in his sorrow, yet knowing, as his wife, she was now part of his experiences, she slowly walked to join him.

The oppressive heat, the cruel humidity, the absence of any sound and the absolute dearth of any breeze made Jennifer wonder how he had managed for all those years. The air seemed to be pushing down on her and very quickly, she was perspiring freely. Her clothes clung to her skin like wet rags and her hair hung lankly to her shoulders.

The jungle distressed her, but this day was not about her. She had to stand by her husband and comfort him in his misery.

"Mum! Why, why, why? Why didn't I save you? Why, why, why?" He threw his head up and screamed his agony to the heavens as tears streamed from his eyes.

A quick puff of air seemed to be tugging at Jennifer's skirt and didn't die until she was standing with Peter's head pulled against her legs, holding him tightly and allowing him to weep in the security of her presence.

The only noise was the soft sound of Peter's sobbing.

The light filtering into the clearing was almost eerie. Shadows and light seemed to be vying with each other and Jennifer felt a strange presence in the air. Still holding Peter against her body, she strained to see past the far hut. In that unnatural light, she was positive there were two people carefully studying her.

One was a blonde female, the other a man in an Australian Air Force uniform and they were smiling at her. To clear her mind she shook her head and looked again. Only the eerie shadows returned her gaze. She was sure that two hands, one male and one female, patted her shoulder.

Realizing she had been hallucinating in the overpowering humidity, she looked again but was startled to find a wizened old man - brown and weather-beaten - kneeling in front of them.

Gently the old man lifted Peter's head and to Jennifer's amazement, he motioned for her to step back. Although he said nothing, Jennifer knew she must obey. He peeled Peter's sweat-soaked shirt from his body as he seemed to order him to stand.

Following his directions, Peter stood and turned.

The old man, seeing Peter's heavily scarred back, let out a joyous whoop and the clearing was suddenly full of sarong-clad men.

The old man, obviously the leader, extended an arm towards Jennifer, and with his palm facing downwards, waved his fingers from his wrist outwards in a gesture of dismissal. He watched her walk backwards, her eyes on him the whole time until his hand went up to stop her.

The men lit a fire between Peter and this tribal elder. Once the fire was well ablaze, the men piled green leaves on it. Pungent, acrid smoke rose and even at her distance from the fire Jennifer's eyes began to water and her head spun from the pungent odour of the burning leaves.

The chief studied Peter's fingers and the palms of his hands, and stared hard into his eyes as if trying to read his soul before he spoke.

Only Peter and the sarong-clad men understood his words.

"Little One," croaked the chief, "You have done well and the gods are smiling on you. You're truly blessed to have this woman, as your wife." Disdainfully the chief nodded towards Jennifer. "You and she will grow old together with your children, and will be very happy."

Then he thrust his head up and squinted hard at Peter. Taking Peter's face in his hands he stared silently at him for whole minutes until Jennifer wanted to scream at the silence.

"But," he continued in the same unknown language, "The gods demand a payment, and a harsh reckoning it will be. Don't ever forget that you and she love each other and that you are together through eternity. However, you will be trialled, and the ordeal will be extremely demanding and dangerous. It may last for the next few months or maybe even years... I cannot tell. The suffering ends when I learn to fly."

His cackling laughter caused Jennifer to strain her eyes, peering though the misty grey smoke that concealed him and Peter, trying to see more.

"Peter, we trained you to be a man. Now we tell you this: do not struggle against my words. They outline your destiny. There is death, many deaths, many violent deaths, but your woman loves you and is always yours no matter how it seems. Make certain The Little One never turns away from her or lets her down.

"To assist you..." he paused and held out an elaborately carved gold ring, "take this. It is a weapon to use in the jungle you know as civilisation."

He began teaching Peter, as he did so many years previously, how to use this new weapon. This time it was a deadly cobra ring.

Pausing, he looked into Peter's eyes carefully as if trying to decide if his words had sunk in. Then satisfied, he ordered Peter, "Bring her to me."

Abruptly he dismissed Peter, not allowing for any questions, and stared into the fire as hesitantly, Jennifer allowed Peter to seat her on the opposite side of the fire from the old man.

She failed to notice that Peter had removed himself to the far side of the clearing.

"Jennifer."

She was visibly startled when the old man addressed her in Oxford English.

"Oh, don't look surprised. I've known your name since Peter first met you at the bar and performed - The Dance of the Little Swans - wasn't it?

"No, never has Peter contacted me since leaving the jungle so many years ago nor did he tell anyone of his plans for today. He is secretive, that man of yours. However, for all his faults, he is a good man. He'll follow you to hell and back.

"The near future will be extremely painful, but those demanding times will eventually end. Constantly remember that Peter is yours and you are his forever. Never lose sight of that for a single moment. To assist you, take this snake bracelet.

"When I entwine the two bracelets it will be a symbol that the sorry saga has ended. Your life with Peter will resume with no further interference."

Carefully he separated the two serpents and slid one-half of the bracelet onto Jennifer's wrist. The other half he kept.

Jennifer studied the ornately carved, silver snake bracelet embedded with jade, rubies and diamonds. Gently she ran her fingers over the scales of the snake and was surprised that she felt an inner peace overpower her.

"This is your destiny and to show you that, 'There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy', you will return home, and the horror will end when I learn to fly.

"You will have twin girls who will be the first of your brood.

"Tell no one of what I have said, but hold it in your heart."

Still cackling at the utter amazement on Jennifer's face and disbelief that this old man of the jungle could quote Shakespeare he stood, his words at an end. With his followers, he left as quietly as he arrived.

Peter and Jennifer were alone.

As Jennifer stared into the glowing embers, Peter helped her to her feet.

"Let's leave this evil place. There's nothing here for me now."

A sudden light movement of air wafted across Jennifer's face and she sensed two people were saying, "Thank you! We love you for loving our son."

Peace flooded her soul.

Engrossed in their thoughts, they returned to the chopper. It quickly rose and turned north towards Penang.

The pilot's voice gave Jennifer a running commentary on what lay below, but her thoughts still focused on that strange old man and what he had foretold of her future.

Obviously, Peter was also thinking of his message as he stared ahead with an aloofness that Jennifer found hard to combat.

Bringing them both back to reality, the pilot's voice, crackling in their earphones, changed to one of urgency. "Hang on - lots of water ahead," he warned.

The sky had turned an eerie green and water poured from the heavens like a waterfall. Rain lashed the chopper and poured in through the open doorways. Tossed back and forth with its engine screaming, the chopper struggled to keep them aloft as a howling wind and drenching rain combined, trying to bring about their downfall.

Terrified, Jennifer clung to Peter who kept her tightly held in his arms.

Saturated, terrified and almost blinded by the light, she watched bolts of jagged lightning hurtle past them on the way to the ground, accompanied by enormous claps of ear-shattering thunder.

In her terror, Jennifer wondered if this was the beginning of what the old man of the jungle had predicted.

As suddenly as they had flown into the storm, they passed though it, and below, sparkling in the sunshine, were the Straits of Malacca with Penang Island on their left.

The chopper swooped down to land on a grassy patch at the edge of Bayan Lepas Airport.

Jennifer giggled as she saw a limousine rushing across the tarmac towards them. Relieved to be back to normal, she had relaxed once more.

"All mod cons. Nothing is too much for my love," Peter grinned. Gently brushing a lock from her face, he bent to kiss her forehead. "Thank you my love. Without you today wouldn't have been possible."

Smiling with relief and marvelling at how quickly her clothes had dried, Jennifer hugged him. They were both back from the memories of his past.

"I think we deserve some luxury, and I knew we'd both be too tired to drive," Peter explained.

"Let's do a little sightseeing on the way. It won't take long." He called out to the driver. "The Snake Temple please, driver."

"No, Peter." Jennifer interrupted. "I've had more than enough excitement for today. Straight to the hotel please, driver."

Jennifer decided it was time to assert herself as she moved close to Peter to cuddle against him and enjoy the warmth of his love in the air-conditioned leather comfort of the BMW.

"Certainly memsahib," was the chuckling answer of the turban headed driver.

"Besides I'm starving. I'm not like you, existing on a bowl of chilies, I need food. Its 3 o'clock and I've had no breakfast, no lunch and no water. I really need reviving. I'm no robot you know."

"If I may be so bold Mem, I'll take you directly to the hotel and order something exceptional for you both. You go straight to your room and relax. I'll take care of everything." The driver had definitely overheard her complaints.

The doorman opened the car door for Jennifer and signalled a room boy to lead the way.

Their suite opened and Jennifer was delighted to see the French doors opening out to the gardens and the sea wall with the mainland in the distance. The overhead fans creaked their welcome.

Sinking into the rubber cushions of the cane lounge, Jennifer sighed her satisfaction at resting in the cool. She leant back, eyes closed, sandals kicked off and content to rest.

"Peter, how much of the words the old man of the jungle told us should we believe? His words burn into my consciousness but I find I am ordering myself to ignore the rubbish. My education tells me that there is no positive proof that soothsaying and fortune telling are anything but myths."

Before Peter could reply a polite knock sounded, and Peter's "Masuk! Come in!" didn't disturb Jennifer but the smell of food forced her eyes open. The room boy placed a steak sandwich with a salad on the coffee table before her, and beside it stood the compulsory ice-cold glass of fresh lime and soda. Neither the meal nor the drink lasted long and Jennifer didn't care if Peter thought she was no lady as she wolfed the food down.

Another knock and another "Masuk" from Peter, and another steak sandwich was placed before her, and this time the fresh lime and soda was even larger and the room boy winked, whispering, "With sugar" as he knew the tartness of the first glass was more than enough.

At last, with hunger and thirst satisfied but too tired to move, she allowed herself to drift into sleep to the sounds of the slow-moving fans as they creaked overhead. Jennifer stirred as Peter lifted her, but she was too tired to open her eyes as he stripped her and put her to bed.

She merely murmured, "What are you doing?"

"I'm just fluffing your pillows!" He wheeled the TV to the bottom of their bed before joining her and, drawing her head to his chest, he remembered her concerned questions. "I can't say whether our friend can tell the future but I've been in the East long enough to understand that at times the arts of the East far outshine the arts of the West. What I can tell you is that, no matter what our destiny, my heart is yours and I will protect you."

Jennifer didn't answer. Lulled by the incessant chatter of the CNN News, Peter found his eyes closing and he joined Jennifer in sleep.

"That couldn't possibly be the time!" The 11am news bulletin had woken Jennifer. She nudged Peter until he groaned and turned over to grab her once more.

"No you don't!" Laughing, she evaded his clutches and raced to the bathroom, quickly locking the door behind her. "A girl has to have some privacy," she shouted as the shower splashed down on her.

Peter stared at the ceiling, still concerned over the Old Man of the jungle's message. The Chief had said this was his destiny. He had no viable option but to graciously accept the Chief's words. Knowing that with Jennifer by his side he could meet the challenges ahead, he was still terrified for her safety. Jennifer was his future.

She appeared from the bathroom and threw a wet towel at him. Peter made a quick leap from the bed towards her and grabbed her around the waist before tossing her onto the bed. Laughing, she screamed that this was her day and she had more plans than spending it studying the bedroom ceiling.

"You shower and dress, and after a quick brunch we'll become tourists." Jennifer was in control.

Peter organized three trishaws. "One for Mem, one for Tuan and one for Mem's purchases," was his explanation to the trishaw drivers.

They rode up Penang Road, meandering from store to store to arrive at a dimly lit shop run by, as his clothing proclaimed, a Pakistani.

Lovingly stroking a Temple Lion and rolling the marble ball in its mouth for luck, Jennifer noted in an off-hand way. "I like this stone lion, I'll take it."

"No Jennifer, it's far too big and too heavy." Peter tried to be the practical one in the partnership.

"Oh, I'm so glad you Australians discipline your women," the shopkeeper remarked with a glitter in his eye and a lascivious lick of his lips.

"Is that so?" Jennifer quickly retorted as she glared at the Pakistani.

"Well," she added disdainfully, throwing Peter's credit card on the counter, "I'll take a matched pair. Don't even think of doing a switch, The Little One, would be most unhappy. Now I'll do some serious shopping."

Before she asked Peter to start haggling, she had added a large, smiling Buddha, an exquisitely carved Ganesha and a delicate carving of Lakshmi to her purchases.

Peter thought his bargaining had ended when Jennifer stepped up to the counter once more.

"Oh, no, that is the price for my husband. I don't have his money. I'm a very poor wife, so..." and she dropped the price to 50% of what had been decided.

The shopkeeper seemed to sway a little. He grasped the counter as if to stop himself from fainting. Jennifer, ignoring his stance, sat down in front of him on the shop chair, staring him into submission. It didn't take long.

Eventually they left, Jennifer gleefully leading Peter by the hand.

"See I'm a quick learner," she smiled back at him.

Jennifer thought she had learned a lot until the night when they walked in the cool of the early evening up Penang Road to the Pasar Malam -- the night market. While she was picking her footsteps down a narrow alley between the puddles of rancid water and woven baskets of goods, she was surprised when a stall keeper accosted her.