Wrestling with Celebrity Ch. 03

CHAPTER I

I'd just got done with a PPV, or Pay Per View, and was as wore out and battered as a human could get and still be ambulatory. I was dispirited from the death of a friend, angry because he was being treated as persona non grata, or perhaps, non futurus alio, sorry, if I try to keep from shouting about something, I tend to over intellectualize, like translating into Latin, for instance. Si vos can lego is, tunc vos es super erudio. What really got me into trouble though was telling the boss, Mr. McMahon how fucking tacky his death story line was, though. That's what lead to a stiff, shoot match with a wrecking machine known for ending careers, well that and I refused to be turned into a jobber for expressing an opinion. For those who don't know, a jobber, a.k.a. ham and egger, a.k.a. jabroni, is a wrestler who, "does the job," or "puts the other guy over," in short, he loses to make someone else look good, and while I don't have a problem doing it for legit, story-line reasons, I do have a problem with b.s. punishment for not stroking the boss's ego. One good thing about my buddy's death, it brought about an end to that story line.

So, I'm coming home, bruised, battered, folded, spindled, mutilated, and stapled, (and I was the winner!), when I see forms on my sofa. I immediately feel my blood pressure raise by a few thousand degrees, then I hear something that puts me into full battle mode: My au pair telling the other form "No."

"Rick, stop! I really don't want to do this! Rick, please, Rick! RICK, STOP IT!"

I reached out and grabbed his hair, lifting him off of her, and over the back of the sofa, smiling into his eyes, "Yeah, Ricky-boy, stop it." I didn't like what I saw, her blouse was torn, and she looked near to tears. Right then I was walking a very fine line between sanity and madness, and was hoping Rick would push me over. *Come on, Ricky-boy,* I thought, *Do something stupid, you know you wanna'.* Right then, I saw my dead friend, who for some reason went rabid and offed his family and himself, I saw his lovely wife, and his precious son, the same age as mine, I saw Vince, usually a friend, but recently an antagonist, and a thousand other things that had pissed me off. I wanted, no, needed for Rick to do something stupid, and then I saw his fist coming, like slow motion, towards me. *BINGO!* Before Rick knew what happened, he was face down on the ground, in an arm bar, with me stepping on his shoulder. "Wow, Ricky-poo! Sexual assault and assault and battery! Just FUCKING amazing! If I let you up, will you do something else to go to prison? Anya, call the cops, while I decide if I want to dis-arm Ricky, here."

"I don't have any weapons!"

"That's not what I meant." I smiled when what little I could see of his face turned the same color as cottage cheese. "You're under citizen's arrest, please resist."

CHAPTER II

1

The police had left with my au pair's (hopefully ex) boyfriend in custody. My body, so recently abused in a Last Man Standing match that was a stiff shoot, was singing arias with the torn muscle in my back making vows of pain to come on top of that, as the adrenaline and endorphins faded from it. I limped over to the bar and made a pitcher of martinis.

"You gonna' be okay, Anya?" I asked as I poured two, making one a dirty martini by adding a little of the juice from the olive jar. I handed one to Anya.

"I'll be fine, thanks. I don't drink, Mr. H., but thanks anyway." I observed the way she was still trembling, and the hitching in her voice.

"You do tonight, alcohol's a depressant, you know, a sedative, and you need one right now. You know, Rick ain't a thing like you told me he was." She laughed at the joke, shakily, but it was still a laugh, and took a sip of the 'tini.

"Tell me about it. I mean, we'd only been dating a few weeks, but you think you get to know a guy. He dropped by, and like a...like a..., like a big dumb boob I let him in and he thinks it's playtime, whether I want to play or not!" She burst into tears, and I hold her. A part of my mind is making promises of great physical violence, crimes against humanity stuff, for Ricky-boy, but most of me is busy comforting the kid in my arms. She's a good girl, and smart too, going to college, and helping me raise my kid.

"Shhhh, hey, you ain't a big dumb boob. I'm sure he seemed sweeter'n honey, guys like that always do. Hey, it's okay. Shhhhh." She just cried harder. "Shhhh. Like I said, you ain't a big dumb boob; you're like, what, maybe a B cup?" She stopped crying and looked at me for a moment, then started laughing.

"You ASSHOLE!" She gasped between tears and laughter.

"Yup."

"God, only you would make a joke right now, and know I needed both the release from laughter and crying."

"Laughter releases anti-stress hormones, natural happy drugs. It's also got health benefits. Plus you were getting snot all over my shirt." She released another weak and watery chuckle.

"I'm done in, I'm goin' on up to bed, Mr. H. I'll see you at breakfast. You know, you really are a decent guy."

"Yeah, yeah. Just don't let it get out, I have a reputation to maintain, oh, and it's Jesse, I still work for a livin', so no 'Mr.,' or 'Sir,' got it?"

"Yes, Sir!" she said with a little bit of her sauciness back as she ran up the stairs. After she left, I settled back with a grimace. If I had let on with how bad I was hurt, she'd have tried to wait on me, which she didn't need right then. The cracked ribs, pulled muscles, and torn muscle were all protesting the physical and exuberant way I'd dealt with Rick, and the room kept warping and spinning from the concussion I had. NEVER get into a fight with a 400+lbs. power lifter. Over all, every part of me wanted a divorce from me, and I didn't blame them. I sucked down my martini, ate the olive, and then poured another one from the pitcher. It was gonna' take a while to ease the pain up so's I could sleep. Hell, right now I'd settle on feeling good enough to hobble upstairs and peek in on my kid so's I could give him a kiss. Luckily, Anya and I have an understanding, whenever it's a stiff shoot; he doesn't get to watch daddy. I don't want him seein' his old man getting a beat down, or for him to see me beating the living daylights out of a person for real. I sucked down the second 'tini, and considered going for a hat trick, but decided against it. Instead I levered myself up off of the couch, and limped upstairs.

2

I had just closed my kid's bedroom door, and was going to my bed, when I heard Anya's voice

"Mr. H!" a pause, and then louder and more insistent, "MR. H!" Thinking something was wrong, and wondering when this night would ever end, I ran (okay, hobbled quickly) to her door, and flung it open, only to discover a very naked college kid in the throes of pleasing her self. We both froze for a moment.

"Errrr..., Uhhhhm..., I..., that is..., sooooo..., Uh, sorry, I thought you called out for me. I'll just leave you to..., 'bye." Great. I did look at her as a kid sister. Now the image of a very sexy and attractive girl was burning itself into my consciousness, and making yet another part of me sore.

Chapter III

1

While I was waiting on the surgery to repair my back, I stayed at home. Anya and I walked on eggshells around each other. Neither of us mentioned me walking in on her, but it was on our minds. Hell, even my kid, all of seven, could tell something was up. Luckily, it was just a few days to wait for the surgery. Soon I was in the hospital.

"So, Doc. After this, will I be able to ride horses?"

"I see no reason why not; sure, you'll be able to go horse back riding."

"Then you're a great Dr. I never was able to before."

"And on that note, anesthesia!"

2

I swam upwards back towards the waking world. I felt like I was embraced by cotton, soft, peaceful, warm, and safe. Then pain started intruding on that little world, from a thousand different sources. *Oh, right, the match. I must be recovering from the surgery to put Humpty Dumpty back together again.* with that thought I awakened.

"Hey, lover, how you feelin'?" asked the voice of my #1 girlfriend.

"Like I just called Mark Henry, Mark Calaway, and Dave Batista, all three at once, sissies. Otherwise, I'm fine."

"Poor baby. The nurse said she'd be back in with a morphine drip. Saw the match, and you're exaggerating, you just fought the first one. I could tell it was a stiff shoot because that's the only time you growl and go all animalistic like that."

"Do I? I'm sorry, didn't know," I was starting to drift again.

"Don't be sorry; it's kinda' sexy," Then Danielle was drifting down a long tunnel, and I was back asleep.

3

The next time I awoke, my kid and my au pair were there.

"Dad! We met Topanga!"

"Really?"

"Yeah! She autographed my book!"

"Cool! Anyone else famous?"

"Yeah! There were a few of them outside your room!" I felt my face going crimson, and saw laughter in Anya's eyes.

"Hey, sport," I said glancing at the clock, "I'll bet 'Sponge Bob' is on right now."

"You're going to let me watch 'Sponge Bob' while you're in the room and can't get out?"

"Good point, I'm willing to bet 'My Gym Partner's a Monkey' is also on."

"Shouldn't have said anything, kiddo."

"I know. I think I'll go ask Topanga how she knows daddy instead."

"Uhh, err...,"

"Bye!" I watched him go out of the door to my room. The laughter was now bubbling up out of Anya.

"Once again, shouldn't have said anything, Mr. H."

"Tell me about it." We were left alone, my way too sexy au pair, whom I was fond of in a non-sexual way, but was finding interesting possibilities opening up with, and me. Suddenly the silence was thick with tension.

"So...,"

She smiled. "Er?" We both laughed. The tension broke like a bubble.

"Listen, I'm sorry I walked in on you like that, I heard you holler my name, I thought something was wrong, so I just burst in. I didn't realize you were..., uhm, you know," I finished lamely.

"I'm not sorry. I really like you, and the other night kind of threw that into focus. Even though you have a rule about no male company in the house while you're gone, you didn't even mention that, you just took care of me, and tried to make me feel better after Ricky attacked me. If it isn't too forward, I'd like to go out for coffee sometime after you get out of the hospital. Don't answer now, just let me know. Now I'll go rescue Ms. Fishel from your son."

CHAPTER IV

1

The time in the hospital, and rehab seemed to go by in a blur, and before I knew it, I was back home, doing rehab on an out patient basis. During that time Vince and I reconciled, and I was due to date my au pair.

"Now, Steph, you and Paul just had a kid, you sure you can handle Alex?"

"Sweetie, Paul's handled a pissed off Undertaker, and I've handled a million wardrobe malfunctions and a fake Internet video, I think we can handle a seven year old. Go, have fun."

"Alex, you mind Paul and Steph. Thanks guys. If there's any trouble...,"

"Dude, we have your cell number, now go, me'n' Steph have it under control."

2

"...so, that's why I wrestle. Most of the guys are great, too. Some of them are full of themselves, but, hey, so am I, heh. I'm surprised you've never asked me that before."

"Well, usually it's how was the show, how's Alex, I'm beat, and off to bed. Or, you talk about your kid, or some girl you're dating, or I talk about class, Alex, and some guy I'm dating. I'm enjoying actually getting to know you."

"Yeah, me too." I paused as I grimaced due to my back spasming.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, but let's call it a night. I gotta' take my meds, and get to rehab in the morning."

3

I'd finished my shower, and was limping back to my room when I heard again, "Mr. H!" Then louder, "OH, MR. H!" I was about to walk on by, when I heard, "A-hem, OH MR. H!" Curious, I opened up Anya's door, and saw her in a merry widow, pleasing herself. "Oh, dear," she said, looking up at me, "I guess you caught me being naughty. Does that mean you'll have to spank me, now, Mr. H?"

CHAPTER V

I licked suddenly dry lips. On the one hand, I had to get up early tomorrow, on the other, WOW! It was a tough decision that required lots of thought, what with my injuries, and the risk of exasperating them and all. I was in there in about half a heartbeat.

"Yes, yes, I suppose you have been naughty," I said, sitting down on her bed, "come, lay down across my lap." She gave me a fiery kiss and lay across my lap. "Continue pleasing yourself; I want you to know what this is for." I started slowly, with light taps on her ass, steadily building up to slaps that echoed across the room, before my control broke, and I flipped her over, and eagerly sought out her mouth with my own. Soon my bathrobe and her lingerie were crumpled together on the floor, as the sounds of our mating echoed where the spanking once had. Screams of satisfaction and inarticulate yowls finally gave away to silence, and heavy breathing. My back felt as if it had a thousand fiery daggers in it, but it was worth it.

"Just so's you know..., if you want a raise, now would be the time to ask for it," I joked between pants. We both laughed and snuggled close together.

"You're going to continue dating others, aren't you."

"Yeah, but you knew that. If you're having second thoughts, now is the time to state them."

"No, but I just wanted to be sure of where I stand."

"Same as always, someone who's dear to me, only now we have an added layer to the relationship. Don't borrow trouble from tomorrow, sweetie, we got plenty on our plates today."

The End.