Writer's Block Ch. 06byfirstkiss©
My dear readers; yes... this has taken a long time to write. I'm sorry for making you wait. If it's any consolation, both Imogen and I have been just as frustrated as you. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Thank you for all of your continuing feedback and comments. Cheers - fk
I held Sim's shirt closed with one hand and automatically shook Jude's with the other. I was in such a state of shock at being interrupted that I didn't think to refuse the gesture. Sim's rude suggestion to his youngest brother of where to go and how to get there didn't so much as phase the young man. Instead he grinned at the two of us with unrestrained glee.
"Seriously, Jude. Fuck off," Sim muttered, rising from the couch in one fluid, graceful movement. I ducked my head and started doing up the buttons of the borrowed dress shirt, anything to keep me distracted from the breathtaking sight of all six-plus feet of bare-chested and angry Simeon Forster Jr.
"Sorry, man," Jude laughed as he backed out of the livingroom. I could feel his eyes on me still, but I didn't look up. "Didn't think you'd have a girl here. Shit, you shoulda put a sock on the doorknob or called me to warn me or somethin'. You could have at least brought her upstairs to your room - that's what I do." The young man's tone was light and I bit back the urge to laugh. I could tell by Jude's teasing that bringing girls home wasn't something Sim did often. The thought pleased me immensely.
Sim followed Jude from the room and I could hear the two of them arguing in the kitchen. I sighed and leaned back on the couch. Even from two rooms away I could tell Sim wasn't truly angry at his youngest brother, just pissed at being interrupted. I felt a little hollow myself now that I'd started to come down off the sensual high Sim had wrapped me up in. It was beginning to feel like we'd never get to the end of our lessons.
The back door slammed and moments later I could hear the cough and sputter of a lawnmower starting in the yard. I grinned as Sim came back into the room, the expression on his face was both smug and bashful. He stood at the threshold and leaned against the doorjamb, arms crossed over his wonderfully broad bare chest.
"You're making him cut the lawn?" I asked with a laugh.
"It's only fair," Sim said with a wry twist of his mouth. "I pay the bills."
I shook my head, unable to stem the giggles which brewed up from my lungs. I leaned my head back against the couch and just laughed, letting all my frustration and exhaustion out until my sides ached. Sim watched me silently from across the room, a crooked grin on his face. From the backyard the lawnmower buzzed on.
"Stand up," Sim said in a gruff tone when I'd finally quieted. There was a glint in his eyes which made my insides melt. I did as I was told.
"Take off your dress," Sim ordered. I reached under Sim's dress shirt and undid a few more buttons of my sundress, enough so that I could slip it off my hips. It pooled at my feet. I let his borrowed shirt fall back down. It enveloped me totally, reaching to my knees and the sleeves were so long I couldn't see anything but the tips of my fingers.
From the doorway Sim watched me hungrily and I stood frozen under the heat of his gaze, waiting on my next lesson.
"My bedroom is the third door down on the left," Sim said in his low, deep voice. "You go up and I'll be there in a minute."
I could feel my knees wobble, but didn't want to argue. I thought Jude's return home would have put the end to our lessons for the day, but the determined look on Sim's face said otherwise and I was more than willing to co-operate.
I stepped out of the fabric puddle of my abandoned sundress and made my way past Sim to the hallway, feeling his eyes on me the entire time. I shot a glance over my shoulder and was so surprised by the undisguised look of lust on Sim's face that I practically ran up the stairs.
The third door on the left opened to reveal a large bedroom crowded with books. The huge bed was tidily made and I sat on the edge of it to relieve my quaking insides. I knew I'd never been more turned on in my life than I was at that moment.
Everything was happening so fast and yet at the same time, it didn't seem to be happening quickly enough. I couldn't remember the last time I'd let myself go so completely. I hadn't dropped my defences in years and it felt liberating: terrifying and liberating. And it wasn't just the promise of sex either, it was all the other things that went along with it -- desire, excitement, intimacy. Hell, it had just been so long since I'd let anyone touch me that that fact alone was enough to shake me to the core.
It hurt a little too to realize how lonely I'd been and how hard I'd been on myself by not admitting it.
Minutes later I heard the slow, measured tread of footsteps up the stairs which I could have sworn were Sim's, but his bedroom door didn't open. Instead I heard doors opening up and down the hall and drawers slamming in other rooms. Curious, I stood up and poked my head out into the hall just as Sim emerged from another bedroom, his hair slightly rumpled, his face triumphant. In his hand were a few distinct, foil-wrapped packages that even with all my inexperience I could recognize.
He looked up to see me peeking at him from his bedroom. We both blushed.
"Thank God for brothers," Sim joked, sweeping past me into his room and trying to look casual. "They're a veritable pharmacy at times." His chagrin was charming. I giggled past my own embarrassment.
We stared at each other for a moment before both looking down at the prophylactics Sim clutched in his hand. "Imogen... I... that is... I mean that we...," Sim stumbled over his words and had the grace to colour violently.
I smiled and came to stand beside him. I held out my hand. Sim arched his eyebrow questioningly. "Well... let's see what we've got," I teased in a soft tone. Sim grinned and dropped the assortment into my hand.
I chose the topmost packet and read the label. "Strawberry flavoured?" I asked, feeling confused. "Why the hell would it need to be flavoured? Unless you were going to... oh." I stopped mid-sentence and mid-thought. Sim chuckled knowingly.
"Oh." I sat on the bed with an outward gust of breath and let the condoms fall to the mattress beside me. "Oh."
Sim knelt at my feet. His smile was a patient one. "Don't worry about that, or those," he gestured towards the foil-wrapped pile beside me. "That's like lesson sixteen and lesson thirty. We've got a long way to go until we get there. I just thought it might be best to be prepared, you know?"
I nodded. "It's just that, well..." I hesitated awkwardly. Sim ran his hands up my legs to cradle my hips and smiled encouragingly at me. "It's just that... what if I'm no good at it?" The last half of the sentence came out in a tortured whisper that revealed more about my fears than I would have liked.
Sim's laugh was gentle. "Imogen... Sweetness... there is no possible way you can be bad at it. Trust me. You've got nothing to worry about."
"How do you know?"
"Truthfully?" Sim asked, his expression was bemused. I nodded. "Because you kiss like no body's business and you respond to my touch the way no other woman ever has. That's how I know." He reached up to brush my hair out of my eyes before cupping my cheek gently. "Imogen. You'll be brilliant, I promise. I'll help you."
I must have looked worried, because Sim chuckled warmly and kissed me. His smile was kind. "As much as it kills me to say this," Sim sighed. "I think you've had enough excitement for one day." He collected the discarded foil packages and unceremoniously dumped them into the drawer of his bedside table before he crawled on the bed and propped himself comfortably against the headboard. He motioned for me to join him, which I gladly did, curling up with my head on his bare chest as he wrapped his arm around me.
We lay like that for a time and I could hear the gradual slowing of his heartbeat and I felt my own slow to match it. Outside the lawnmower buzzed on, the sound growing dimmer as Jude circled to the tackle the front lawn.
"Can I ask you a question," Sim inquired softly after the minutes ticked away lazily on his alarm clock.
I raised my head a little sleepily and smiled. "Sure."
I could feel my brow wrinkle. "I'm sorry?" I asked, not quite getting it.
"Why do you write erotica? Why that? Out of everything you could write about, you choose the one thing that scares you most. Why?" Sim's chocolate brown eyes were brightly curious.
I considered him, thinking. "For just that reason, I suppose," I confessed. "Because it does scare me. I guess we're a little alike in that regard -- I like a challenge just the same as you. The first time I did it just to see if I could, and I liked it. It..." I trailed off, unsure and Sim prompted me along with a gentle kiss to the top of my head.
"It was hard and easy at the same time, if that makes sense," I continued. "It was a challenge to write, but when that first story was done, it was the best thing I'd ever written, the most satisfying thing I'd ever accomplished. Everything else I ever tried to write never sounded right, no matter how often I went back to it, how hard I worked at it. But writing sex... it came naturally. I don't know why. I don't really question why."
"Isn't it difficult though?" Sim asked. He trailed his fingers down my arm before settling his hand over my own. "If you've never been in those situations, don't you find it hard to write about?"
"Yes and no," I admitted with a little smile. "I do have a pretty good imagination. And it's been an outlet for me all these years, you know -- since I wasn't doing it, writing about it seemed the next best thing. And it was..." I trailed off, unsure.
"Safe?" Sim supplied. "Safer than giving it a try in the real world?"
My smile was regretful. "Yeah, I guess it was. It's just... you should know Sim, that most men aren't like you. Actually, no man is like you, not the ones that I've met anyway. So yes, to answer your question, it was safer to write about it than to experience it. There was no one to judge, no awkwardness, no fear of doing something wrong, of not pleasing the other person."
"Until you submit your writing to an editor," Sim teased.
I laughed. Beneath my hand Sim's heartbeat was a pleasant rhythm and I snuggled deeper into the warmth of his body. "Yeah, well that's a whole 'nother bunch of fears and insecurities. It's just in my case one is closely tied to the other."
Sim chuckled. "I'm not your editor though, Imogen. I have a hard time picturing you pleasuring Linda in quite the same way as you do me."
"I couldn't even imagine it," I gasped with a laugh. "And besides, I haven't pleasured you yet anyway."
"I wouldn't say that," Sim conceded in a warm tone. "Being curled up with you, half-naked in bed on a Friday afternoon instead of slogging through manuscripts at the office? I'd say that's quite pleasant."
I elbowed him in ribs. "That's not what I meant."
He kissed the top of my head again. I liked the gesture: it was sweet and still somewhat at odds for the sort of person I'd thought Simeon Forster Jr. was. "I know what you meant, Sweetness. And trust me, seeing you in my shirt, hell... seeing you without many clothes on, getting to kiss you, to touch you. That's pleasurable for me, although I know you don't believe me."
He was right. I didn't. I hated how hard it was for me to think that someone would want those things from me, would enjoy sharing those moments with me. I couldn't help but think that out of everything that had happened to me in the past, my insecurity was the worst legacy of the whole messy business.
He'd been so sweet to me, so kind after all my craziness. Sure, we'd started off on the proverbial wrong foot, and I knew there were moments where Sim probably wished he'd kept his mouth shut that afternoon in the café when we'd first met, but I couldn't help but feel like we'd come a long way in a relatively short period of time. I could almost allow myself to admit that I liked him. I liked him a lot. Maybe more than I'd ever liked any man -- and that thought was scarier than anything else.
The minutes flowed smoothly past, the silence between us comfortable. From time to time Sim's long fingers trailed across my back, but other than those unconscious caresses neither of us moved.
"Are you asleep?" Sim asked eventually.
I shook my head against his chest. I was so relaxed it felt like I very easily could be. "No, I'm still here. Why?"
Sim's chuckle reverberated through my own body. "Because my arm is and it's starting to hurt." Sim flexed the shoulder I was leaning against and I could feel his arm move behind me. I sat up with a small noise of disappointment.
"Sorry, Sweetness," Sim apologized. He held his hand out and straightened it experimentally. "Old soccer injury."
I looked down at him and smiled. His dress pants were hopelessly wrinkled, his chest bare. He had a sleepy, sexy smile on his face and a mischievous look in his eyes. He looked like a hero stepped out of one of my stories, only better because he was real. He was mine to kiss and touch and do with what I liked.
"What are you thinking?" he drawled teasingly. "I don't trust that expression."
"What expression?" I bantered back.
"That playful, sexy one on your face right now," Sim chuckled. "You look like you'd like to take a bite out of me."
I laughed. "Maybe I do. Would you mind?"
"Not in the least," Sim said in a husky voice. "Do with me what you will." He spread his arms wide and grinned.
It didn't seem right to refuse such an invitation and I was infinitely curious about Sim's body. I reached down and trailed a finger over his chest, brushing past his nipple. It hardened and Sim made a small noise of pleasure. I traced over the ripple of his muscles and the masculine dusting of hair into the dimple of his belly button. He chuckled softly. I splayed both my hands against him, amazed at his broadness, his solidity.
"You like?" Sim asked gruffly. His chocolate brown eyes were dark.
I nodded. "You're beautiful."
He laughed again, pulling me over him so that I lay completely on top of him. I could feel his hardness beneath me and he didn't seem the least bit put off by the weight of my body. It was thrilling and terrifying all at once.
"That's a compliment I've never heard," he joked lightly. He brushed a kiss against my lips. His hands were strong around my waist.
I braced my hands on either side of his head and looked down at him with a smile. "I thought we'd had enough for one day?"
"You started it."
"I did not!" I retorted with a flirtatious giggle.
"Did so," Sim growled roguishly against my lips.
I bit his bottom lip before sweeping my tongue over it. "Did not."
Sim moaned. "You learn too fast."
"You like?" I parroted with a breathy laugh. He nodded. I did it again, moving my tongue over him more slowly, flicking at his parted lips. I swallowed his groan.
One strong hand came up to cup the back of my head and Sim kissed me hard, driving the air from my lungs with an audible gasp. I could feel his erection nestled between my legs, with only his dress pants and my thin panties between them.
I'd kissed men before, but none of them had the same effect on me that Sim did. I could feel every nerve in my body respond to his touch, could hear myself making soft little noises of pleasure which normally would have made me blush. All I could think about was Sim, it was like everything else in the world melted away the moment his mouth met mine.
For the first time Sim followed my lead. He let me tease at his tongue with my own, let me slow the pace when I liked, let me deepen the kiss when it felt as if I couldn't get enough.
Sim's breathing was as ragged as my own when I finally broke the kiss.
"Am I too heavy?" I asked when I realized I was still lying entirely on him. I had propped myself up with my hands pressed against his chest and the pressure of that alone must have been making it difficult for him to breathe.
"Not at all, Sweetness," Sim laughed. "I kinda like it."
I shifted my weight and moved so that I straddled Sim instead, letting my knees on either side of his hips take my weight. "Better?"
His hands floated down to cradle my hips. We were so much more intimately pressed against each other that way, and I could see the flare of satisfaction in Sim's eyes when the heat between my legs met the hardness between his. Even the layers of our clothing couldn't muffle it.
"Much, much better," Sim groaned with a chuckle.
I wiggled a little against his erection. It felt nice to let the solid length of him press against me. It made me want more than I understood.
"Easy now," Sim gasped. He stilled my movements with gentle pressure to my hips. "I'm supposed to be teaching you, remember?" With a wide grin he easily rolled over so our positions were reversed and I lay under him. His hands moved from my hips to the buttons of my borrowed dress-shirt.
He undid each button with smooth swiftness and parted the shirt to lay me bare except for my panties. Sim's touch was gentle as he traced the curving indent of my waist. When he brushed against the underside of my breasts it felt so good my spine arched off the mattress.
He knelt over me, silent for a moment as he took the sight of me in.
"You are so incredibly beautiful," he whispered. He reached down to cup my breasts lightly. My nipples hardened against his palms and we both moaned together. "These are amazing."
"I wish they were bigger," I confessed with a wry half-smile.
Sim's head shot up and his eyes met mine. "Why? They're perfect. A nice little handful." He squeezed gently to prove his point. "And such lovely nipples Imogen. I wouldn't change a thing." I watched wordlessly as he bent his dark head and dragged his tongue slowly across one. I gasped.
He suckled me, pulling from me the most unladylike sounds. It felt so amazingly good, like I never would have imagined, and every swirl of his tongue against my nipple went straight between my legs. I could feel my pulse beat in my clit, a hard, little ache that was half pleasure, half torture. I knew Sim would get there eventually, but eventually wasn't soon enough.
When Sim's fingers trailed down the length of my torso to tease at the edge of my panties I could have screamed my frustration, but he seemed content to just let his hands wander softly over me. I spread my legs, impatient for more, but Sim just chuckled against my breast and kept his leisurely pace.
"Sim," I pleaded, my voice a husky murmur. I buried my hands in his soft, dark hair. He worried my nipple gently between his teeth, the sharp sensation make me shiver and groan.
I desperately wanted him to touch me and when his touch neared the damp spot on my panties I growled with pleasure and shifted my hips, hoping to divert his fingers to where I wanted them to be.
"For someone who didn't want to do this only a few days ago, you're awfully impatient," Sim teased. He raised his head and grinned at me.
Every kiss and touch felt so good that I didn't want him to stop. I could barely remember the girl I'd been only hours before, the girl who'd been so scared and unsure. All I wanted was more, was for things between Sim and I to come to their natural conclusion. I wanted his mouth on me, his hands touching me. I wanted everything he wanted to teach me, to give me. It was greedy, but I'd missed out on it for too long. I wanted it all.
"What do you want Imogen?" Sim asked huskily, as if he could read my mind. His hand strayed to the top of my panties before slowly creeping under the fabric. He teased at edge of my curls. "This? You want me to touch you here?"