You Want To Go On What Diet?

"How the hell is Eddie helping you out?" my incensed throat barked.

Calmly Carol answered me. "Well you know the bar downtown he owns? He cleared out the backroom and let's me use it as well as the patrons. They all must jack off, no blowjobs. I have to admit I get the bulk of my supplies from him."

Well, well my best fucking friend Eddie. I ask him to help me by keeping an eye out for Carol and he pays me back by being her sperm banker pimp. I envision myself getting a giant condom and placing it over his head to asphyxiate the bastard. His shit will hit the fan soon, I vow to myself.

I hit the road and fumed all the way back. I called and talked to Michelle several times, mainly to share my despair about my life with Carol. Michelle felt my pain; she herself has tried to get Carol to stop, emphasizing safety and diseases reasons. She did calm me somewhat about Eddie saying he never did anything personally and he did interject when some of the men wanted to do more than make a deposit.

Getting back to my suite late, I nuked some leftover fried rice and grabbed a beer and put my last porn DVD on. After about 15 minutes of some weird porn, I got a thunderbolt of an idea. I went online and sent my boss an email and thought of my plans for the morning, excited that I felt like I had a plan for the first time to get my wife off this cum diet by showing her how ridiculous it really was.

I rushed to the office early the next morning; spoke with my superior who agreed to my request. I then called in my assistant and told her she was being promoted to my position, effective today and watched her with her mouth open as I hurriedly emptied my desk of my personal items and waved goodbye to the other employee's while rushing out the door.

My next stop was the extended stay hotel where I gathered my stuff and checked out to a surprised looking staff. My heart was racing with excitement as I hit the interstate on my way home to put my plan in action.

Since I left the house just yesterday in a huff, it was a shock to Carol when I called her telling her I was coming home, back to work and to live. The tone in my voice must have excited her to as she quickly told me how happy this made her. I told her I had important news and I was so looking forward to sharing it with her. I had hours with which to work, organizing in my head the how and way I would talk to Carol. I was convinced that after tonight I would hear nothing more of the man sauce diet of hers.

Arriving just after dark, I was delighted to find Carol eagerly waiting at the window. As soon as the door opened she engulfed me in her arms. She had a bathrobe on and nothing else. I separated myself from her and told her our lust had to wait, first I had to tell her my surprise.

With much anticipation she sat across from me, holding hands and breathing deeply. I began my saga.

"Carol you know that I was opposed to your "protein diet" from the beginning and have had a real hard time accepting as well as coming to gripes with it. However, seeing how radiant you are and happy with your results, I'm willing to accept it."

Carol was beaming. She quickly interjected that she was down to 122 pounds, which I of course did not want to hear, but smiled anyway.

I continued. "As you can probably tell from the time I've been gone, my weight hasn't been good. In fact I gained 24 pounds over the past three months,(all true, those late night pizzas and fried chicken with beer will be the spackle and paste to your plumbing) and I'm ready to lose them and more." Carol gave a knowing nod to my weight statement. Hell, I was hoping she wouldn't agree so quickly.

"So, as of tomorrow, I am on a new diet."

"Oh Dave, that's wonderful! Which one is it?"

"It's a pure protein based diet juice."

"Protein juice? Is that something new, I don't know of a diet like that."

"It's not really established yet with a lot of studies. But I know it works. The protein is the basic building block we have in our system and is natural in its purest form."

"Dave, that sounds so exciting. What is the source of the protein and what is it called?"

"Carol honey, the diet does not officially have a name; I just call it the PJ diet."

"PJ, what does that stand for?"

"Pussy Juice." Carol had a glazed look in her face as those two words sunk in. When it did, her eyes enlarged and her mouth made a big O. Her body fidgeted in the seat as she mulled over our conversation so far.

"I'm sorry honey, did you say pussy juice? My head nodded confirmation. You know that I'm close to menopause and I only lubricate enough when we screw to stay moist. I can't possibly give you enough to quench your needs."

"I know that honey. I'm way ahead of you on that. I placed an ad with a group of women that have a lot of female ejaculate, in other words, squirters. They have agreed to provide me with the volume I will require. They will squirt in a kiddy pool while I siphon off the fluid. By the way did you know that some of these gals can squirt a tumbler glass full with one blast?"

Carol's head was down; a sure sign that her little brain cells were working overtime. I think I was almost there and she would realize how goofy she has been with her diet. Her lips started to move so I knew she had some more questions for me. My victory dance would have to wait.

"So you are not fucking these women?"

"No silly, I can't metabolize the nutrients that way. The juice must be taken orally."

"And why again is this protein so good for you?"

'Think about it Carol, this is almost the same fluid in which babies sustain and develop themselves before birth. It is just about the richest formula on earth, plus it tastes good."

I watched Carol's reaction closely for any sign of defeat. She gave a huge sigh, and placed her hands to her face.

"Dave, I have been so stupid. Can you ever forgive me? I am stopping my diet immediately." The hardest thing I've ever done happened then. I wanted to shout to the rooftop but I kept my exuberance to myself, but deep down my balls were high fivin each other for joy. In 21 years plus I've never been able to change Carol's mind, but tonight with my clever plan -- success.

Carol got up from her seat and again looked at me with a smile.

"So when are you starting this great new diet again?"

"Tomorrow Carol, tomorrow," I soothingly answered.

"Good, it sounds so much healthier than mine, so I'm going on the diet with you."