Young Widow Ch. 06bysuzie3w©
I really hesitate to tell this chapter, as it is probably the most embarrassing and regrettable part of my life. But I set out to tell my story, and I decided it wouldn't be complete without this part. We all have something to be ashamed of, and I hope yours isn't as unfortunate as mine.
And again, I suggest that the reader take this series in order if you care about the back story.
We didn't have sex in the morning. We had to leave to leave early and ... okay, the main reason was that I was sore. My pussy had quite a workout and I didn't think it could handle any more at the moment. Actually Tom's dick must have been sore as well. He didn't seem that interested even in a hand job.
We talked on the way home. We agreed that we did not want a serious relationship.
"This is all new to me," I told him. "I don't want to make rash decisions. Plus, you're my boss!"
Tom smiled. "And all you really want is a promotion."
I slapped his arm, laughing. Then got serious. "You are kidding aren't you?"
"Of course," he said. "But work relationships are very tricky."
I thought I understood what he was saying. "It's okay. We would probably be smart to end it completely, and get back to normal."
Looking at me, he said, "Maybe, but I don't want it to end. What if we just see what happens?"
"Okay. But let's not jeopardize what we have."
In retrospect, it seemed that I did more to cool the relationship, and Tom went along with it. At any rate, that's the way we left it. Perhaps that was a mistake. I really cared for Tom. I had always respected him, and I loved being with him. And the sex was great! What was my problem? Maybe my confusion helps explain the rest of my story.
When I got home the neighbor kid was waiting for me. He had been worried since I hadn't been home. Not that that was unusual. He had been watching over me since my husband's death. At that time he was only 15, but he felt obligated. He had taken quite a liking to my husband, and Ralph nearly adopted him. I shouldn't call Todd a kid. He was now 18, but that is still a lot younger than my 32.
He checked on me every couple of days. Once in a while I found something for him to do so he would feel useful. That weekend he came over and I cooked dinner for him, as I did occasionally. He lived with his mother, who worked odd shifts as a nurse.
After dinner he gave his usual hug as thanks, but this time he held on tighter and longer than normal. When we broke away he kissed me, holding my head in his hands which kept me from breaking away. When we finally broke, I was aghast.
"Todd! What was that for?"
"I can't help it. I have always been attracted to you, I thought I was just a little kid with a crush, but I'm not a little kid now, and it's more than a crush."
I led him over to the couch for a talk. "Todd, I am much older than you. Too much older. I feel very happy that you feel like that, it's quite a compliment. But just our age alone makes it impossible." I felt a little stupid for not catching the signs over the past couple years. He hadn't been watching over me - he had been attracted to me! Who knew?
I'm not sure how it happened from there. I remember him kissing me again, and it was an amazing kiss. He was extremely good. I was melting in his arms even while I told myself to stop. And then while we were deeply engaged in kissing, his hand suddenly appeared inside my bra. He began playing with my nipple, twirling it in his fingers, pinching it. That was not fair. Evidently, my damn nipples get me into a lot of trouble. Those hard nubs sent shivers down my spine, my pussy began tingling, They were so damn sensitive! And he was such a great kisser. I really don't remember how we got into the bedroom, or how my clothes got removed from my body. Maybe I have blocked it from my mind from embarrassment. Total embarrassment.
I do remember Todd on top of me, his erection poking into my stomach, his hands exploring my body. I stopped him with my question.
"Do you have a condom?" I sincerely hoped he did. I was so hot, I wanted him now. Even while I wanted him, I realized that this was wrong. Not illegal - he was 18 - but for the first time I felt cheap. Slutty. I had had sex with a couple men lately. It was feeling almost normal now, not cheating on Ralph, just a normal woman with normal desires. But with this kid? No, I knew I shouldn't, but the sex was hard for me to turn down.
"Yes," he said, answering my question and getting off me to grab his wallet. He got back on the bed and fumbled with the wrapper. I took it from him and opened it. Taking it out, I reached for his penis. I had to wait for him to remove his hands, as he had been playing with it while I wrestled with the condom package.
Just as I took a firm hold of his penis to apply the condom, he shot a load of cum high into the air. He groaned, both in joy and disappointment. I stroked his rod until he was finished, when he started apologizing. I was disappointed as well, and realized I should be relieved. But somehow I wasn't. I was actually wishing we had been able to have sex. It was then that we both looked down at my hand on his penis and realized that he hadn't lost his erection.
"Can we still do it?" Todd asked.
I said, "Okay," as I placed the condom on his erection. We rolled back onto the bed kissing and embracing. I still felt bad, but my excitement ruled.
He raised up, positioned his dick at my vagina, and pushed in. I was soaking wet and he slid in easily, even without any further foreplay. His penis was rather long, perhaps the longest of the several I had recently experienced, but it was also the skinniest. The excitement ended there however. Perhaps that's why I remember that part so well.
Todd pushed into me, but his hips didn't really move. His whole lower body, even his whole body, bounced up and down. He was bouncing his body on top of me, and it was quite uncomfortable. I nearly forgot about the penis going in and out of my pussy because of the weight being pushed down repeatedly on top of me. My breath was pushed out of me as well, and I had to time my inhaling so that he was off me when I needed to breath.
I was soon getting sore, or seasick, but fortunately he didn't last too long this time, either. He started moaning and was soon spurting inside me. I was so grateful to have him done I didn't think about my orgasm. I mean the one he was probably hoping to give me. I certainly wasn't going to have a real one from this kid! Evidently he had some practice kissing, but not intercourse. Later I realized that he might well have been a virgin.
He rolled off me and removed his condom. I was relieved to see it on his thin little dick. Sorry, it was thin, but not little. I was just a little bitter at how easily he had seduced me, and at how bad the sex was. I was preparing my lie about how I had cum just before him, when he got up and went into the bathroom. He came out and got dressed, giving me a little kiss before he left. He wasn't interested at all if it was good for me. I didn't know if Todd would want to have sex with me again, but I knew that I wouldn't do it.
Perhaps that event was what led me the next day to accept an invitation from a friend, Sandy, to a singles party at her house for that weekend. The idea was to invite several men and several women, mostly strangers to each other, as a kind of group blind date. At least I thought that was all it was. I would find out it was a lot more than getting to know each other.
I got to Sandy's a little late to find that that the men outnumbered the women, but a couple women arrived after i did to make it even. There was a lot of drinking and dancing, with everyone circulating extensively, talking with everyone and dancing with most. As the evening wore on a few people roamed away from the party. I didn't think too much of it until I saw one of the couples come back in. By the way they were slightly disheveled, touching, and giggling, I realized what they had been doing. I hoped everyone wasn't expected to have sex tonight.
It was about that time that I realized that Mark had taken over my attentions, dancing and talking to me exclusively. I hadn't really chosen him as my "date" for tonight, but it seemed we had paired up. I was drunk enough to be dancing very close to him, holding tightly and rubbing up against him. It felt good. His hands on my hips and ass felt good as well. It probably would have felt good if I was sober. But I firmly believe if I had been sober it would have stopped there.
Mark was nibbling on my ear as we were dancing. Slow. They had all been slow for a while now, hadn't they? We were holding each other tightly, and I could feel his erection pushing into me. I pressed into it harder. It felt good.
Soon Mark was leading me out of the room. We went down a short hall, arms around each other, nuzzling each other, then stepped into a room. I was a bit surprised to see that it was a bedroom.
"Well, of course," I thought to myself. "This is where that other couple was. This is where we have sex." Thinking back, I was surprised at myself for thinking this but not thinking of the implications. I was drunk enough to feel like I was watching myself do this instead of it being me who was actually doing it. My mind was pretty hazy.
Mark kissed me deeply, our tongues battling one another in both mouths. He began to remove my clothes, and soon I was trying to remove his. He leaned down as my bra came off to kiss my breasts, licking around my nipples before finally playing with them with his tongue. Once again my nipples betrayed me, making any reluctance I had useless. Reluctance? Who was I kidding? I was well past that.
He pulled my skirt off followed by my panties, then pushed me back slightly so that I sat on the bed. With a hand on each knee he spread my legs and placed his head between them. He licked up the inside of one thigh, coming to my crotch. He kissed right at the top of my slit, then proceeded to kiss down the length of it. I was moaning by now, and had been leaking for a while.
Mark had been working at loosening his pants. He placed a finger, then two, into my hole and moved up on my body. I barely could tell him that he needed a condom, and he assured me that he was putting one on. I was on the bed, my pussy right at the edge, legs splayed out, as he raised up to line up his erection to my slit. He rubbed it over my nether lips for lubrication, then slid it into me. I would guess about half went in on the first push. Probably more if he had been standing in the right position, but he was a little off balance. He positioned himself better and shoved in again. This time I felt our pubic bones meet and his balls slap my ass. He thrust a couple more times, then he lifted up my legs and placed them on his shoulders. They were now sticking straight up in the air, and he kept sticking his penis deep inside me. It felt so good sliding down my channel. I could feel my walls being pushed aside with each thrust of his shaft, and again as he pulled out.
He was standing up now, holding my legs up, pounding my pussy. I reached between us with one hand to play with my clit, and soon I was letting loose with high pitched squeaks, my pussy clenching at his dick, then spasms as I had my first orgasm. Mark didn't seem to be ready. He paused as my orgasm hit, then pulled out. Flipping me over onto my stomach, he put his penis into me again and held my hips, lifting them slightly to let him find the right angle to thrust in. He plowed into me some more. My hand, trapped underneath me, played with my clit again and gave me another quick orgasm as Mark continued to ream my pussy. It felt so good at this angle, this speed, this thrust, my clit being rubbed, my nipples being rubbed against the bedspread. I came another time almost immediately, or perhaps it was the main part of my other one. I pushed my hips up so wildly that Mark's dick was pushed out of me and I finished my spasms with an empty pussy, and moaned loudly for the loss.
Mark sat on the bed, laying back as he pulled me over on top of him. I rubbed my pussy onto his dick, it splitting my labia, slurping as it went. But I had to get it inside me. I slid up to the tip of it and reached down, holding it steady as I moved back, impaling myself onto him. Even though I was on top, he did most of the work. I was tired, worn out, drunk. As he thrust his hips up at me, driving his penis home, I rotated my hips to give him a new feel. I had no strength left to pump up and down. Mark didn't seem to mind much as his excitement grew. He was finally getting close. Grabbing my breasts, my pleasure suddenly increased as well. I began pumping my pussy down onto his shaft just as I felt it throbbing. He thrust up hard, holding it deep into my vagina, then thrusting again and holding it in deep. On the third upward thrust he moaned loudly and shot cum up inside me. He kept thrusting and shooting, but I wanted more. I was close to cumming again myself, and didn't want to lose his erection.
I started pumping harder, desperate to reach climax before he shrunk. I squeezed my pussy muscles tight as I drove my body down onto him, trying to keep him hard. I placed one hand on my clit and the other over his hand on my breast. I took his fingers and made them pinch my nipples. I was nearly delirious, but I was approaching my climax and still felt a rather large rod inside my pussy. I was there, just a little more time, it was on its way. I felt it surging through my loins, finally bursting out as I shrieked in relief. It took me some time to finish and come down enough to realize what was going on. By then Mark was completely soft, I was leaking all over him with our mixture of cum, and I was so weak I could hardly sit up, so I rolled off and lay on the bed.
We were both pretty exhausted and stayed there for a while. Finally we stirred and began to get dressed. There was no place to clean up, so we made due with some tissues and our own clothing. I tried to fix my hair as well as my clothes, but I felt like a mess. We went back out to the main room. Fortunately most people weren't there, and those who were didn't pay much attention except to each other. I told Mark goodnight and left the house as quickly as I could.
I felt like such a slut. It had been a great fuck, but I had never met Mark before. How could I have sex with a man I didn't know? First Todd, then Mark. Both big mistakes. I had had sex with four men in a little over a month. I was so embarrassed, even though no one but me knew it. Doug and Tom were okay. I knew them, I liked them, I felt like we were making love, even though we were not actually in love. But Todd and Mark were just sex. Unthinking, careless sex. As much as I liked sex, I hated doing it like that. Never again. I had to take control of my sex drive and be smart about it. I think I can enjoy sex and not be a slut. I was sure of it. I told myself that over and over as I curled up in a ball on my bed and cried myself to sleep.