Your Geek Questions Answered

My essay "Why Geeks Make the Best Lovers" has received quite a bit of praise and positive feedback, so I have decided to follow that essay up with this one. I seem to have convinced some of you that you should be dating a geek.

But what is a geek? What makes a geek different from a nerd or a dork? How can I tell the difference? Who are some famous geeks? Where can I find a geek? How do I pick him up?

And for the men "Where the hell are the geek girls?"

A caveat before we begin...I am making generalizations based on my own experiences. Not all geeks conform to these standards...consider them guidelines.

WHAT IS A GEEK?

A geek, quite simply, is a man or woman who is too intelligent for their own good, who is sweet and funny, but slightly socially inept. We generally have a passion for Sci-Fi and/or fantasy novels, table top or live action gaming (think dungeons and dragons), and make obscure jokes. There is often a fascination with computers that comes in very handy for the non-geeks around them. They are often giving to the point of getting hurt, and don't understand that other find them attractive.

Keep in mind that not all of these will fit a particular geek. There are computer geeks, humanities geeks, music geeks, comic book geeks, gamer geeks, etc. You need to figure out which one you want.

Computer geeks are pretty much just that. A finer distinction would be between the hardware and software geeks, the Linux geeks (watch out...Linux isn't so much an operating system as it is a religion for them), the Mac geeks, the Pearl geeks, etc. If you want to understand a damn thing they're saying, you should either have a good baseline knowledge of computers or be willing to learn. A quick plus...they often have good hands...very very very good hands.

Humanities geeks are your Literature geeks, the history geeks (hi!), the psychology geeks. We know all sorts of esoteric facts and are surprised when you didn't know that. We're the person who knows all the jeopardy answers and there is often much crossover between the fields. Most lit people know a good deal of history and vice versa. We tend to have extensive libraries, and relate a little too closely to the character of Hermione in the Potter books, especially when she looks around in exasperation and asks "don't you people read?" Our plus...we can wait for you to finish whatever...we always have a book handy...oh, and most of us have read quite of bit of historical erotic stuff...for academics sake, of course. (wink)

Music geeks are perhaps the most trendy of the geeks. They're the cute ones you see in places like used music stores, indie stores, and looking guilty when found in mainstream music stores. They usually can play several instruments and want you to listen to bands you've never heard of (along with the rest of the world). But again...good hands, and they tend to write love songs for you.

Comic book geeks live and breathe comic books. Usually they stick to one or two comics (aka X-men, Spiderman, Batman, etc) but they know the entire storyline of that series going back years and years. On the other hand, most women can do that with soap operas, so let's not be hypocrites. These geeks tend to have a silly side, and are very young at heart. You'll find yourself climbing a tree for the first time in years, or getting on a skateboard because it's "fun!"

Gamer geeks talk about games they've played like it actually happened. They usually refer to each other by their character names. This can be odd at first, but think of how often you do that online. Don't stress. These are very imaginative types. And again, they'll convince you to dress up or do something you'd never do because it's fun.

Most geeks are a mixture of the above. There's plenty of crossover. But they usually are one flavor predominantly with a little bit of this and that thrown in for flavor.

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A GEEK, A NERD AND A DORK?

Several factors.

Geeks are slightly socially inept, but they either can conquer it or already have to a degree. Nerds can't and dorks won't. None will ever be the life of a party however. Geeks will find a few people to talk to, Nerds will watch from the side of the room and Dorks will go hide.

Geeks take care of themselves. We may forget to eat once and awhile, but we bathe regularly and try to smell and look good. We may have different standards of what style is, but we try. Nerds tend to dress like they're already in their 40's, both girls and guys. Dorks don't have a clue and are usually the ones with the pocket protector.

Geeks want to occasionally play in the mainstream, although we also enjoy a round of "freak out the mundanes." Nerds and Dorks generally pride themselves on never doing so.

Geeks want to interact with the outside world and will make an effort. Nerds want to but don't know how. Dorks don't want to.

For those who self-identify as a Nerd or Dork but don't fit the criteria, I apologize. I'm merely basing my comments on time spent in the community and at MIT and cons, both great geek gathering places.

WHO ARE SOME FAMOUS GEEKS?

Well, to name a few...

1. Plato, who wrote "The Republic"

2. Socrates, who dared tell people that they should think, rather than act like sheep.

3. Martin Luther, who questioned the almighty power of the bureaucratic church

4. Ben Franklin, who wrote witty columns, invented the stove, and thought it would be fun to play with lightening.

5. Tesla, who also thought it would be fun to play with stuff like lightning and electricity

6. Madame Curie, who thought it was fun to play with chemicals and viruses

7. Eleanor Roosevelt who spent her childhood as a misfit who was just a little too smart and a little too ignorant about clothes and who as an adult crusaded for what was right instead of what was status quo because she knew it was right.

8. Winston Churchill, the alcoholic geek

9. Gates, who got computers into all our houses.

10. Steve Jobs, who got computers into schools.

11. The guys who invented video games!

12. John Lennon, the singing geek.

13. JMS, who wrote the most amazing sci-fi series ever—Bab 5, and now writes the Spiderman comics

14. Gene Roddenberry, who paved the way for people like JMS

15. Leonard Nimoy, who gave us the "live long and prosper" hand signal—all geeks know it, whether they use it or not.

16. Wil Wheaton, who served as a crush for all us geek girls in the 80's, and who remains a very cool geek...check out his blog if you don't know it.

17. Clay Aiken, the American Idol geek, and a crush for the geek girls of today

18. Mercedes Lackey, who is an idol to many geeks for her amazing books

19. Jackie Kennedy, a geek with style and grace

20. William Goldman, for giving us "The Princess Bride." Inconceivable!

This is just a partial list, off the top of my head. Feel free to suggest additions.

WHERE CAN I FIND A GEEK?

You've said to me, okay, I want one...where do I find them?

1. Bookstores, in the sci-fi and fantasy aisles

2. Drooling over the Bab 5 and Trek stuff in Video Stores

3. Video Game Stores (you'll have to put up with annoying teens though)

4. Computer Stores

5. Cons (aka Sci-Fi conventions)

6. Renaissance Faires (either working or hanging out there)

7. Gaming Stores (and the games that they run)

8. MIT (and other universities like it...or the comp sci dept)

9. Indie Music or Book stores

10. Anywhere where they're sitting and reading when no one else is.

HOW DO I PICK UP A GEEK

Ok, so you found your quarry...what do you do now?

1. Ask them to recommend a book/computer program/etc. You put them at ease when you put them on familiar territory. Try to get their email address (they'll give that faster than a phone number) to let them know what you thought or for further recommendations.

2. Walk up and say hi. Most will talk at you but have no idea that you're flirting.

3. Be careful of the ones who flirt back...they're almost always the pervy ones...unless of course, like me you like that. (wink)

4. Make it obvious that you're interested. Geeks sometimes need to have the point driven home to them.

5. Ask them to help you make a character (only works in gaming situations)

I think you get my drift. Find a point of entry and then try to get their email. Wait a day (not more than 3) and then drop them a line. If they recommended a book, actually read it before emailing (try to read fast though). Make sure you remind them of who you are and where you met. Suggest coffee...that all purpose offer that even they understand means, I want to get to know you better. Take a cue or two from them...and move at the pace that seems appropriate. I've ended up in bed with geeks on first dates, and never with others, so there's no good generalization there.

WHERE THE HELL ARE THE GEEK GIRLS?

To all the men who asked me this question, I have only one response. We're everywhere. No, we're not as common as the boys and we usually camouflage it well. Geek girls generally are good at blending into the group.

However.

We're also the ones with the purses that are big enough to always handle a book. We'll pull said book out waiting for things like the elevator, or while eating.

We're the girls in the SCA, at Ren Faires, cons, etc.

We're the girls who speak up too often in class, earning the annoyance of our classmates, and occasionally our professors.

Good odds that we're teachers, librarians or archivists, lawyers for places like legal aide, social workers or some other do-gooder profession. It's rare to see a geek girl in professions that are about money and getting ahead and such.

There you have it...some questions answered, some things cleared up for you. Now stop dawdling and go find a geek...we're waiting!