tagHumor & SatireZen/Art of Porno Site Maintenance

Zen/Art of Porno Site Maintenance

byGratefulFred©

Chapter 1

Traveling down the back roads of Internet Porn I was on a quest...a mission. I was lost in a state of mind...scouring over pages and pages of amateur pornography forever in search of that one great ultimate cum shot - that majestic facial imprint - The "Mona Sleaza" herself.

'Twas many years ago when I saw her milky covered smile and from that point my life was never the same. Can mere seconds change a man's life? Yes...for in an instance I knew that my life now had meaning...I was reborn and felt a surge of energy bursting through my pants. And though that picture of her wondrous being vanished in a power outage I knew it was a divine message of the Gods themselves testing me as they did Job once upon a time.

In Zen there are some philosophies that I keep close to my heart - it isn't the quantity of pornography one sees but the quality that makes all the difference in one's life. I embrace technology and higher pixel graphics whereupon others go for the poor quality compression. Others take the road of the popular free cum facial sites and live forever in "the big tease" never venturing into the extreme.

"The Mona Sleaza" is perhaps a click of a web page away. It is the journey to find her not the day I find her that carries significance. She is out their and with every breath I take I will keep searching.

(Phredus' quest has begun.)

Chapter 2

The further I delved into the world of Internet porn, the further I removed myself from the physical world. It was in here that I was at home, at one with my horniness. My brain fizzled to life with each and every video download as this T-1 connection became my life giving force supporting my Zen-full existence.

It was on one day in my journey for the ultimate cum shot facial that I discovered a theory that I wish to relay to readers of my enlightened filth. To the casual freeloading dial-upper they would not even catch this incredible theory as the life of the average person is simply mundane - The typical person follows a path from birth to death, seeing perhaps a few hundred videos of online porn, cheating on a spouse or two - and that's it. To them I will share my vast pornographic experience and hopefully they will learn to appreciate that a great smutty world exists and to know it is to live it.

The world of Internet porn you see is controlled by an all male secret society known as "The Illuminanus". These men are dedicated to controlling women and making them subservient to male causes. Years ago they used their vast connections to have hundreds even thousands of woman have their tongues pierced. Then they went on to putting more and more of these women as the top oral sex swallowers and no doubt dumping oral sex refusers in the deep ocean. Slowly but surely "The Illuminanus" saw the fruits of their labor as other women caught on to their subliminal messages and started getting pierced tongues themselves. Men, naturally were clueless, and didn't seem to mind even when their wives and girlfriends had to have their tongues removed from infections caused by a now closed down tattoo shop. You can seldom hear a story about the vast number of tongue amputations, as "The Illuminanus" are sure to squash any such stories.

The reason I bring this up is that in Zen we learn to follow an intercourse, which guides us to the temple of true creaming. Only after attaining orgasm can we cum into new meaning.

"The Illuminanus" are trying to break through my firewall now, so I'll continue this sometime in the near future.

(Phredus has left to take a whiz.)

Chapter 3

Along my long journey toward cum shot utopia, I met a girl on the chat line at cuminmymouthmultipletimes.com who seemed perhaps that missing piece of ass in the equation that I was seeking. Her code name was cumgirl7734 while mine was simply that of ZenMaster. The intense dialog will serve as a life lesson to those who've picked up on the righteous path of Zen smut understanding.

Before expanding into the dialog I need for you the reader to understand that if you take the numbers 7734 upside down you will get the word "Hell". In Zen we know that there's only an Internet Hell and that one outside the online world simply does not exist. The Internet Hell I speak of is the prison one finds him or herself in when he randomly clicks upon one of those "teaser demons" usually surrounded by the words "Free Sex". As pages upon pages of cheap pornographic websites and their accompanied advertisements keep coming out, the person tries to hit the "x" in the upper right hand corner only to discover that another 2 pages follow. Soon pages show up that cannot be removed. The barrage continues unrelenting and then you know the feeling of "Hell". Even shutting off the computer will not free you as your "Hardon" drive has been exposed and once a victim always a victim.

So it was here that my true succubus cumgirl7734 and I carried on a conversation, which relates to my decision to follow a Zen-like way of life. The dialog went as follows:

ZenMaster: I got $50 for a rim job. Cumgirl7734: Sure why not

(Phredus has ascended to a new blow)

Chapter 4

I put myself into the deepest drugged out self-hypnotic trance I could possibly get myself into. I was venturing into areas of my subconscious that had escaped the barrage of brain cells that get destroyed in rapid-fire fashion from my burned out lifestyle. It was here that I found that I was able to transcend time and go back in my past when I first saw the "Mona Sleaza" herself but instead of being focused simply on her heavenly sticky frosted face, I gazed up wards to see the website address that I longed for. Over and over I repeated the site in my head blocking out any other thoughts. With a feeling of intense satisfaction I knew that the moment I would awake would be the moment that I would reach the ultimate goal.

As good as the dreamlike image of the "Mona Sleaza" had appeared in my brain, seeing her in reality on a computer screen was worth so much more. I but had to wait for the drugs to wear off, grab a few bags of munchies and some Scooby snacks and sit back and arrive at utopia. My long quest was nearing its end.

I awoke in front of my computer screen and with a precious movement toward the keyboard I repeated the website address over and over as my hands had free reign to finish this long ride I had started.

Suddenly hands grabbed me as several hooded men donning T-shirts with an all seeing eye over an ass stopped my forward motion. It was "The Illuminanus", my last thoughts as I felt something hit my head.

(Phredus is?)

Chapter 5 - Conclusion

As a hood was pulled off my face I saw myself face to face with the girl of my wet dreams - the "Mona Sleaza" herself. "The Illuminanus" left the room and closed the prison cell behind us.

"Am I dreaming? Or am I dead?" I asked as I looked upon this angel to whom was naked on her knees rubbing her hands on my pants.

"Does it really matter Phredus? That is your real name is it not?" the girl asked as she looked me in the eyes.

"Phredus? That name seems so familiar. I seemed to recall someone by that name who died many years ago" I responded somewhat unsure of myself.

"No...Phredus was knocked into a deep coma years ago from a home invasion. He was watching some oral sex video the moment that a bullet hit his head" spoke my most wonderful woman who started sucking me with a passion not equaled by another.

The room melted away as it was just we two in the world. I looked up and saw a ventilator to one side vaguely along side a heart monitor. The overhead computer was filming her amazing tongue action on my cock that was set to explode. A plug was pulled which I somehow knew was going to happen. I exploded my stuff all over my beloved "Mona Sleaza" face who smiled at me as the world around me turned to black.

"Bye Phredus my love" she said.

What an excellent way to go out...

The End

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