Hi, I'm a 32 year old gay man. I sadly spent almost 30 years of my life denying who I was and compartmentalizing my life. I wish I had followed my heart so much sooner. It's so silly how I would regularly, sometimes daily, sneak off to look at gay porn and fantasize about men. I was doing it since before I could even really masturbate. Before these was even porn available, I'd lay in bed and imagine having another man pressed against me, kissing me, our cocks touching, even fucking me. Around 12 it went off the charts. My first orgasm was while riding the handle of the plunger in the bathroom while I was suppose to be showering. I had it stuck to the side of the tub and shoved up my ass and I was moving up and down, rotating my hips faster and faster, just knowing that it felt amazing. Then, my cock exploded. I'd force myself to look at the lingerie ads and masterbate, proving that I was really straight. But, then I found myself fantasizing not about the women, but about wearing the lingerie. I was hopeless. If I had grown up in some other family, in some other part of the country, maybe it would have been as easy as saying "I'm right handed". It should be, I have hope for the future though. | 
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