It's difficult to grow up, but I somehow feel inadequate. I shouldn't be writing this, because I don't want people to read this and say something like, "I knew someone like her once". Then what happens is you think you fall in love, and you escape to this fantasy world, where everything melts away into some heavenly sensations. It's my weakness to feel like a little girl, safe and...dominated in another woman's arms. Of course, if you expect a happy ending, well, I won't tell you, because if you read this and understand it, perhaps you're falling into the same trap. I live for jazz and sunlight now. I live for plush rooms at the Comfort Inn with complimentary breakfast and an indoor pool. I can't get by without incense or Nina Simone, or my vintage clothing, although sometimes I want to go all black, and chic. I've got muses like you wouldn't believe: Norah Jones, Sarah Vaughn, Dido, Sarah McLachlan, Ken Nordine, Stevie Nicks, Joni Mitchell, and most of all, my beautiful wife.
I guess I turned out okay. She'll always be lodged in the back of my memory, but I think that's alright. I'm working on falling out of love with her and focusing all my energy on the here and now. In a way she blessed me with her persona. I'm a little different. A little harder, a little more determined.
But of course, I'm still the same passionate woman I'll always be.
Location
At her mercy...