Pantomime Dwarf Pt. 05

Andrea has just left the room with Alan, my dwarf boyfriend. She is upset because she has just facesat Alan during the talk-through of our women's group pantomime.

She did it without panties and pulled Alan right into her cleft so that she was smothering him – in front of all of us and me. Alan was hidden under her skirt so no one realised what she had done.

I should be furious but I'm feeling sorry for Andrea. Her ex-husband is due out of jail soon, convicted of a series of assaults on her. She is worried. So am I. What was she thinking? It can't have been spontaneous. She knew Alan would have to pretend to kiss her pussy yet she had left her panties off. Why?

I hope Alan can find out why.

"Marie?"

"Yes, April."

"We should get on with the rehearsal. We can't without Alan."

"OK. I'll get him."

I sigh under my breath. What will I find beyond that door?

As I enter the main hall I find Andrea sitting on the floor with Alan's arms around her. She is crying. She sees me and shrinks against Alan.

"You!" she exclaims.

"Yes, Andrea, me. Who did you expect?"

"I've betrayed you," She wails.

"Rubbish!" I retort. "The only person who has a right to be annoyed is Alan. I'm sure he isn't. He doesn't look annoyed to me, not the way he is holding you."

"He's been great, Marie. I wish I hadn't..."

"But you did, and he's forgiven you, hasn't he?"

Alan nods with a faint smile.

"But..." Andrea starts to wail again.

"Andrea," Alan says, "I told you Marie wouldn't mind. She doesn't. I know why you did it. I can tell her. You don't need to. It's over."

"We need to get on with the reading," I add.

"I can't go back in there," Andrea wails again. "I can't face them."

"Why not?" I ask. "They don't know what you did."

"I just can't..."

I realise that Andrea is beyond reason at the moment.

"I'll get April to take you home. I'm sure we can get through the rest without you two. We need Alan. The read-through is pointless without him. He's still got to face Teresa and Julia."

"But they'll hurt him..."

"No they won't. I won't let them."

I go back into the rehearsal room and beckon to April. I ask her to take Andrea home. She agrees and gathers up her belongings and Andrea's. Alan comes back into the room a couple of minutes after April left.

This time I clap my hands for attention.

"April has taken Andrea home. Andrea found this too much for her. Can we get on?"

Teresa speaks. She has been very quiet all evening so far which was unusual and worries me.

"Marie. All of you."

She has our attention.

"I've had enough of this. The only reason we are here tonight is to see whether we can put Alan under our skirts and live with him pretending to kiss our cunts. Yes?"

There are several nods.

"I can understand that could be difficult for some of us. All of us have been victims of men but for fuck's sake we are not talking about some brawny jock with all his brains in his prick, are we?"

Nods again.

"Alan is our friend. He is a man. He is a kind, considerate, intelligent man, totally unlike the bastards who wrecked our lives."

Alan blushes bright red. Teresa stands beside him and rests her hand on his head. Then she kneels down beside him.

"Alan. You know I have good reason to hate men."

He nods.

"Yet I am proud to call you my friend. You have done more for me, and for the rest of our group, than many others have. Will you kiss your friend, please?"

Alan throws his arms around Teresa's head and kisses her. When they part both are crying.

Teresa stands up, holding Alan's hand.

"Let's get this over. Julia? Please come here."

Julia joins Alan and Teresa. She too has been very quiet this evening.

"Julia and I are nervous about this, aren't we?"

"Yes, Teresa."

"So we are going to get through it together. Julia, lift your skirt and let Alan get under it."

Julia hesitates but pulls her skirt to her knees. Teresa lets go of Alan's hand and grabs Julia's.

"Under you go, Alan."

Alan looks up at Julia and smiles at her. She gives him a weak smile in return. He ducks under her skirt. She unclasps her hand and lets her skirt fall over him.

"OK, Julia?" Teresa asks.

"Yes."

"Now feel for the back of Alan's head. When you have found it, press his face lightly against you."

Teresa lets go of Julia's hand. Julia presses Alan against herself.

"There. That wasn't difficult, was it? Now let him out."

"Must I?" Julia was just confident enough to make a joke.

She lifts her skirt and Alan stands up beside her. He kisses her hand. She hugs him to her hip.

"Thank you Alan. I can't say I enjoyed it... but I've done it."

"Thank you, Alan," says Teresa. "Now there is only me left. Ready?"

"Yes, Teresa," Alan answers.

"Come on then."

Teresa lifts her skirt and throws it over Alan's head. His feet shuffle as he is thrown slightly off balance.

"There!" says Teresa. "Even I have done it. I can understand Andrea's reluctance but I couldn't see why any of us should find it difficult with Alan."

She stops.

"You can come out now, Alan."

"Must I?" he says, echoing Julia and causing all of us to laugh.

"Yes!" Teresa lifts her skirt and pushes him away.

"Thank you, Teresa," he says.

"For what, Alan? Putting you in a humiliating position and treating you like an object? Because that is what we have done this evening. We have behaved as badly to Alan as many men have behaved to us. We have treated him as a male and not a person. I am ashamed of us. So should we all be. I think this pantomime is absolute rubbish even though I wrote a large part of it. Who agrees that it is crap?"

I can see they there are all shocked. This is heresy from the prime mover of the project. Emma speaks first.

"It could be improved, Teresa..."

"Improved! How? The whole thing is a self-indulgent mess. You have seen how bad it is tonight. Who would come to see that? We stuff a dwarf – Sorry Alan – under our skirts repeatedly. It might have some shock value the first time but after that? There's no plot, no action. OK. We have shoehorned in some songs and some dances borrowed from stage musicals but it isn't a pantomime is it?"

"Oh yes it is!" says a quiet voice behind us.

"Oh no it isn't!" retorts Teresa.

"Oh yes it is!" we chorus.

"That's more like a pantomime," says Teresa. "We should do what we should have done from the start. We should ask Alan for advice. Alan? Seriously. Is this a pantomime?"

"Well..."

"Out with it. Is it? Or isn't it?"

"Honestly, I have to say... it isn't."

Teresa turns back to us.

"There you are. From an expert. It is NOT a pantomime. It might be something else but a pantomime it is not. I suggest that we meet at the normal time next week, invite Alan to join us for that meeting, and discuss how to produce a REAL pantomime. Agreed?"

We agreed. It seems the best way out of the mess.

Julia tugs at Teresa's sleeve.

"Yes, Julia? You want to say something?"

"Yes," Julia starts in a nervous voice. "I'd like to say that this thing, pantomime or not, has helped me face myself. Without it..."

She stops and looks at Alan. He goes to her. She clutches him against her waist.

Teresa speaks softly, not in her normal hectoring tone.

"Julia. You have been almost cataleptic this evening, totally out of it. Are you OK?"

"I think so. I was petrified of what I had to do with Alan. Silly, isn't it?"

"No. It wasn't silly," I say quietly. "We know you have had bad experiences..."

"Bad? I suppose that's one way of putting it."

I become really concerned. Julia has never spoken of the things her man did to her, not to us, not to her psychiatrist, nobody.

"What do you want to say, Julia?" Alan asks.

"I have never let anybody as close to my pussy as Alan has been this evening, not since HE left."

We all know who 'HE' was.

"I haven't dared put anything in there, not even a tampon."

There is a silence you could feel.

"He used to push things inside me. He said I was too tight, too small, too..."

Julia is crying. We rush to hug her, swamping poor Alan among our bodies. He yells "Hey!" from between our skirts.

Julia looks down at him and holds out her arms. He climbs into them. She rests his head against hers as we surround her. He kisses her cheek and she smiles weakly at him.

"Sorry Alan."

"That's OK, Julia. I was being trampled in the rush of your friends coming to comfort you. Did you know you had so many?"

"No. Thank you for reminding me. What was I saying? Oh, yes. I'm scarred down there but the scars have healed. The scars that really hurt are in my head. That's true of most of us. Alan, and Teresa, who pushed me into actually putting Alan close to me, have shown me that there is more than pain. I'm not healed. I've barely started to admit that I need to heal but knowing what is wrong is something. For that, I am grateful to this thing that is not a pantomime. And thanks to all of you for your patience."

Julia might have said more but she was kissed by all of us. So was Alan while Julia was holding him at a kissable height. When we'd finished she held Alan out to me.

"Here you are, Marie. He's yours, as much as he is anybody's."

I took Alan from her.

"I think he will always be his own person. Perhaps I will be my own sometime soon."

Alan climbed down to the floor.

"Julia?"

She was drying her tears on her handkerchief.

"Yes, Alan?"

"Want to prove that it wasn't a fluke? That you can do it without being pressured by Teresa?"

"Why not?"

Julia lifted her skirt. Alan dived under it and the material heaved. Julia's face went bright red.

"Alan!" she protested.

His head emerged from under the hem of her skirt. He looked up at her.

"You called?"

"You did it!" she said mock accusingly. "You kissed my lips."

"Er... Yes. Why not? That's what they are for. Want another?"

He dived under her skirt again before she could stop him. She gasped, clamped her legs together and rapped on his swathed head.

"No! Enough!" she said.

Alan came out.

"Are you sure, Julia?"

"Enough for tonight in front of my friends. Perhaps..."

"Perhaps Marie will let you borrow me?"

"I might, " I said.

"That's what pussies are for," Alan said. "To be worshipped and adored."

"Maybe," Julia said, "But it isn't something to do in public, is it, Alan?"

"That's what I've been doing all evening, Julia."

"And we shouldn't have asked you to. We were humiliating you and for what? To prove that this pantomime wasn't worth doing. Thank you, Alan."

"My pleasure." Alan winked at her.

"Alan!" she squeaked in protest and then giggled. That was the nicest sound we had heard from Julia in over a year.

After that the meeting broke up. Teresa and Julia kissed Alan before they left. As we walked back across the car park I asked:

"Pleased with yourself, Alan?"

"Yes, and No. I shouldn't have kissed Julia. It was too much of a risk."

"You shouldn't. It worked but..."

"I could have damaged her, couldn't I?"

"Yes. For someone who didn't know how to kiss pussies you performed brilliantly."

"I'm still surprised about Teresa's reaction. I didn't expect to be declared 'her friend'. I'm honoured but it was totally unexpected."

"The evening wasn't as bad as we thought it might be, was it?"

"Except for Andrea. She is still unhappy."

"Why did she do it?"

"She wanted reassurance that she was still attractive to men. She thought if she presented the opportunity I couldn't refuse it. She was right. I couldn't, but not for the reason she expected. It would have been like turning away from a kiss. I would have humiliated her. I had to go through with it but then she forced me into her. She humiliated me. That was what she was ashamed about. I tried to reassure her but she's angry with herself. I invited her to visit us tomorrow. Is that OK?"

"Yes, Alan. When?"

"10 am. It might be an idea to ring her about quarter of an hour before then to remind her. That way she won't 'forget'. She won't want to come."

"I'll ring her. What do we do now?"

"Go home and go to bed. I don't know about you, but this evening has been a strain. There were too many raw emotions on display and I feel as if I've been walking a tight-rope with hungry crocodiles waiting to see if I'd fall."

"Do you mean go to our own homes? Apart?"

"I think so, Marie. We need time to get over tonight. Tomorrow night? We could be refreshed for you to teach me some more."

"Or perhaps you could teach me?"

"Maybe. We have time to take things at a reasonable pace. I love you..."

"I love you, Alan."

"There! We've said it. We knew it but we hadn't told each other in words, had we? On that, I think we should kiss and part until tomorrow morning."

We kissed. I watched Alan walk the short distance to the corner of his road. I set off home.

As I walked I wondered whether everything had really worked out as well as it seemed to have done. Had Teresa really changed or was her friendship for Alan an act? Would Julia progress from tonight? Was Emma OK? Andrea was tomorrow's problem but all of us had real issues to face. Andrea's husband was the most obvious threat but we were our own worst enemies. All of us, including Alan, were damaged in some way. Could we put ourselves back together.

I was still turning everything over in my brain when I fell asleep dreaming of Alan's lips on my pussy and his 'I love you' echoing in my head.