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Click hereBasics elude me now,
as I sit in a field full of vacant
desks, waiting
for poetry to bloom.
You used to stand there,
your hands on the podium,
crackling
with electricity.
A red-hot weather vane,
I was struck by the lightning
of your words,
of your speaking voice,
softly Southern and ever-like
Sunshine.
Bloom again, it will, I think,
that pink poetry, deep in where
my voice
speaks my words
in ways you have taught me.
Bloomed this past Thanksgiving Thursday,
a ritual I hate for many reasons.
I stirred mashed potatoes into
pasty soup,
Grandmother fussing,
“You’re mother worked so hard to make that
for you. Don’t be so disrespectful.”
I LAUGHED.
You stood there, grinning,
reminding me Southerners love
their dysfunction, and they keep
their secrets hidden
well.
I know she doesn’t care about
tater-coated fingers but that her
dead husband liked
sweet young things,
not her.
I stare through the window glass,
choking down Death with some
gravy and corn, and I smile
at the me I see there.
Faceless, I found you, asked you
for identity, searching for
something
your face showed me and
Could you help me?
Paper and pencils and rhythms
and meter, you gave me the tools
to turn language into
Dancer,
molding identity,
Buried away, until now,
where I sit
waiting
alone
in absence of
teacher and
mourning the losses,
hating the empty chairs, hating the
silent air, breaking my heart
over
until,
once again,
your voice I hear.
is a good one, I like the way you speak to the reader, but in the first part, you say...
a field full of vacant desks...
**field full** sounds sort of redundent( sic)
I agree with the reader who suggested that you trim it a little bit, it is a touching poem and I enjoyed it very much, if you should rewrite I would love to read it :)
.....many nice images and some wonderful phrasing. I think the poem is powerful and has much to say -- a bit in need of some trimming and reworking, but everyone should notice, as many did with J.B.'s last offerings, that this new poet has very much to offer.
tribute.
I love the peek inside the "southeners" mind also
a very nice poem all around
thank you