Cries Of The Carousel

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124 words
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doormouse
doormouse
35 Followers

magnetic attraction
to drifting chimes
call my young mind
with a tinkly melody

a tug on Mum's arm
as I lead her toward
the brightly painted
and ornate ride

with pleading eyes
I look up from her waist
then turn to watch
the one I named Prancer

her mane splashed pink
a tail to match
she rides alone
amongst a rigid herd

two strong hands
they take my waist
raise me to Prancer's back
my pride of place

rise and descend
of saddled mares
with but a pole
to break my fall

Mum I spot
amongst the faces
waves with each turn
as the world passes by

now I stand as a face
in the crowd
watching two happy faces
and wave in return

doormouse
doormouse
35 Followers
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  • COMMENTS
6 Comments
LeBrozLeBrozabout 17 years ago
~~

It has the feel of young minds and short attention spans, filled with the excitement and wonder of the carousel.

Mia MooreMia Moorealmost 20 years ago
I have a soft spot

for carousel horses..in my back yard beneath 6 feet of dirt!! no seriously, this is a good poem, especially these lines

she rides alone

amongst a rigid herd

but, in the final stanzas, you really overuse the word face and faces, it takes away from the rest of the poem, otherwise very enjoyable read :)

LiarLiaralmost 20 years ago
Nice nostalgia

Very good display of that childhood magic.

WickedEveWickedEvealmost 20 years ago
good stuff

I like it, but I'd like it even better if you reworked a few of your line breaks. I think lengthening some of them would give it a smoother read.

tarablackwood22tarablackwood22almost 20 years ago
Fine...

...stuff, DM. Your poetry is blooming and showing a stronger feel all the time. Keep it coming!

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