Time Glosa

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Angeline
Angeline
86 Followers

Ah, fill the cup: -- what boots it to repeat
How time is slipping underneath our feet:
Unborn tomorrow, and dead yesterday,
Why fret about them if today be sweet!

~ Rubaï #39, Omar Khayyam


The tides of youth have washed off from the shore.
Like butterflies we flare. Retreat more. More.
Ah, fill the cup: -- what boots it to repeat
what’s out of reach, whatever its allure?

The world stretches too far beyond our ken
of wild roses, lavender till then--
How time is slipping underneath our feet:
beating sparrow winged questions: How? When?

For like Narcissus, anyone can fall
into the deeps of self in woe this small:
Unborn tomorrow, and dead yesterday,
drowning in somewhere, lost in not at all.

Seeing the face of love is knowing God.
Peonies and the tree line, paths we trod.
Why fret about them if today be sweet?
Kiss time in moments, disdain your facade.

Angeline
Angeline
86 Followers
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  • COMMENTS
5 Comments
WickedEveWickedEveover 19 years ago
if I had not read perk's meter comment

I would not have noticed. Actually, I had to read it aloud to catch it.

fawniefawnieover 19 years ago
it was fun..

...watching you shoot it out, you did wonderful shooting.

very lovely!

perksperksover 19 years ago
perkspective

I know this is from your judo gunfight thread, but I have to say, your meter in the last line of each stanza is heeeeeinous. It drives me batty. You're so solid with the first two lines, and then you get thrown off by your third line and mess all the meter up in the fourth. Try writing the first two and then after you write the third, ignore it and write the fourth after reading the first two. If you put 1,2 and 4 together you can see how off your meter is. Makes my eyes cross, ang. Hell yeah, it's a difficult structure, but it's supposed to be, I don't think you mastered it, but I do think it's a good attempt that is rough and needs work. Content is ok, nothing to make me jump up and down. I realize there were time constraints, but that meter thing is something you really struggle with. I'm looking forward to seeing what you come up with for the iambic pentameter in the hypersonnet.

TathagataTathagataover 19 years ago
You

have found your muse plus 10.

This is a beautiful poem.

Very zen, very Gibran, and wisdom wrapped in silk.

You are on fire lately

go baby go!

thegirlfriday11thegirlfriday11over 19 years ago
just beautiful

very pretty Angeline

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