- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Claming in Claimed Waters
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Click hereA stone lies facedown
man, woman, two kids in a face
down
the waves turn in the dark
and you will be seen
you and me
we will be seemed
us
as clams
in water claimed
to be steamed in one stolen swollen hour.
Our Summer's sweet succor gives solace
branches enfold a seamed flowering diversion
from the warnings of my tongue
a lonely solo reinforced with rock coast mist.
***
I stand naked against a weathered wooden cabin
a temple of life
the beginning of goodbye
a temple of rock
with hymnals of time and rime
a temple of glass
I will pray that it replaces lightbulbs.
My friends are mountains of support
I want their ridges edged in rhyme
rimmed in a blue hive of sky
where the blood rush of life's possibilities
is the biggest buzz
where mundane men
small but free
bring the thunder down
freedom's sound
for generations yet to be.
- COMMENTS
LeBrozabout 17 years agoOne of those brilliant abstract pieces that seem to wander about without going anywhere.
tarablackwood22over 19 years ago...has some wonderful and stunning passages. In particular:
My friends are mountains of support
I want their ridges edged in rhyme
rimmed in a blue hive of sky
where the blood rush of life's possibilities
is the biggest buzz.
In comparison to the last two stanzas, I find the beginning lacking coherence, as if the pieces of the puzzle were shuffled about the table for the reader to find their placement.
perksover 19 years agoI don't use the rating thermometers.
My perkspective on your poem is posted in the poetry forum on the new poems thread.
twelveooneover 19 years agoI've ever seen:
this line may be a bit much
"Our Summer's sweet succor gives solace"
far outweighing this possible fault,
Title "Claming in Claimed Waters"
"to be steamed in one stolen swollen hour."
"a temple of glass
I will pray that it replaces lightbulbs."
This is great as it is, but in the context, well it just blows me away
"where mundane men
small but free
bring the thunder down"
Well, damn, thermometer does not go high enough
annaswirlsover 19 years agoyou know? damn it now I am going to have to read all of your poems and I am really tired.
my thermometer has broken
for all I can do
