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Therefore God becomes as we are, that we may be as he is.
-- William Blake, 1757-1827
No, Mr. Blake
this one isn't like yours
a Mental War
an overture
for the cosmic acrobatics
that at last cross the fire
of your fantasies
The heroic
once seducer
is now pure test
the battlefield
seen from afar
from above
from an island in the moon
is now pure geometry
in the rectangle
of a radar screen
What do you want from us, Doctor Clash?
What do you tell us from afar
from above
from your island in the moon?
Great A, little A,
Bouncing B!
Play away, play away,
You're out of the key!
Fa me la sol, La me fa sol!
Musicians should have
A pair of very good ears,
And long fingers and thumbs,
And not like clumsy bears.
Fa me la sol, La me fa sol!
The new weapons
crossing the skies
dropping on earth
distractedly
missing their targets
while bodies disincarnate bit by bit
in the shadow of shattered bridges
And the skies
springs of water, of fire
continue to dispense
the sustenance of death.
for a poem talking about modern mechanized weapons systems.
At first the choppy rhythm of the very short lines bothered me, but on further reflection, I think it is very appropriate as it evokes the frenetic nervousness of being in a war zone.
My first impression of the Blake quotes was that they were satirical imitations of children's songs, placed there to give a kind of Brechtian commentary on war. I think they are effective, if a bit confusing, even if you don't know the reference (which I doubt anyone would, as it isn't a well-known work by Blake).
I really like the lines "dropping on earth / distractedly / missing their targets / while bodies disincarnate bit by bit".
The closing is effective, if perhaps a touch didactic.
I'd probably give it a 4.5 if I could, mainly because I think parts of it (e.g., the embedded Blake quotation) is a little obscure. But hell, let me round it up to 5.
Thank you both. The mid section interlude is a quote from William Blake's book "An Island in the Moon". The part I was expecting to make this not so non-sequitur, other than the previous references to Blake, The Island in the Moon and Doctor Clash, was "Musicians should have / A pair of very good ears, / And long fingers and thumbs, / And not like clumsy bears" as I thought it related well to the concept of precision-bombs being dropped from high above.
I would agree with Liar on the whole because I too couldn't understand the mid section. I also thought the last four lines a little melodramatic, slightly out of kilter with the earlier starker image,80/100.
Skillfully handled subject, I'd say. At times a detached tone as abstracts as te horrors reduced to rafdar shapes, at times as cutting as if placed in the middle of the destruction.
The mid section interlude though seems to me almost non-sequitir. Probably because the reference is lost on me, whatever you're alluding to, is siomething I've never heard of, not can't be able to look up.
Enlighten me?
I'm glad you're back, Lauren and glad to comment here. There is just no way to explain how some justify ethnic cleansing; it is one of Satan's Special Crimes, to be sure. This is a wonderful piece- Thanks!