my son

love carnate
miracle of my soul
all my hopes
all my joy
all my pride

because of you
i know how to love

because of you
i know how to believe

because of you
i know how to let go

because of you
i am honored to be mom

the wonder of you
fills me still
and forevermore

a baby taking his first steps
wearing my shoes
smiling that toothless smile
waving little hand
by open and close gestures
crying in the night reaching for me
"maaaaaama"

a toddler shoving a pacifier
in his little sister's mouth
"shhh. she noisy mommy"

a preschooler looking to me
when my mom died.
"you got no folks now mom?"
and holding me

a kindergardener holding another sister
close, crooning
"it's okay, i am here.
she likes me, mom!"

going off to school
little man taking over
protecting
loving
growing up soooo fast
yet never leaving my heart

standing in a funeral parlor
wearing your dad's tie
being so brave
your stoic face breaking my heart

standing in church
in your white suit
on the threshold of understanding

looking at your little brother (finally!)
believing he called for you
at two weeks old

standing on the football field
after the game, trophy in hand
my heart ever bursting with pride
"that's my baby!"
towering over me
shaking your head embarrassed
"mom, shh, people are looking"

going off to college
flexing your independence
pierced
tattooed
drinking
driving
yet still my baby
ever my baby

now a man
deep voice
grown
responsible
quarter century old

i go back to a day
after a long night
in a hospital room
staring at that damnable clock
and then...
tiny baby
suckling my breast
love carnate

miracle of my soul
all my hopes
all my joy
all my pride

because of you
i know how to love

with you it all began
with you
i began
thank you for being you