Men v. Women: Oral Ability

I am openly questionable about who is better performers when it comes to oral sex. Male or female? Gay or straight? I try not to question the superiority of one gender or another, but this is one area where there appears that some truth lies over who gives better head.

I am not, and never have been, a fan of oral sex. Not because of any taboo relations, at least not at the maturity I have reached, but more over the rather mundane feelings I get from receiving. Performing as always been something I enjoyed, but never felt that I did my "best work" at. "Don't use your teeth, deep-throat when possible, hold the base of the shaft, flick tongue over head and run down the seam of the member..." said the thoughts in my head as I go down on my partner. My emotional connection to the penis was so null due to the basic fact that I was so deeply concerned with not grasping his shaft with my I-teeth or gagging on the head.

Then one day, a bi-sexual partner of mine said to me, "I have found that men give much better fellatio than women." Interesting, I thought, as I pondered why this was. My immediate reasoning was due to the fact having a penis meant knowing what pleased other penises. For a long time, this has stood as the reason why homosexual relations are often more pleasing than heterosexual ones for bisexual persons.

But then I read in an article that bisexual women found men, far more frequently than women, were superior in pleasing them orally. Odd, very odd. You would think that if you have a vagina that you would at least know how and where to pleasure it, right?

Wrong. Not to diss all women, for I know for a fact that many talented tongues lie in the mouths of chicks, but I think we are forgetting a very important part of genital identification. Where a man views his penis daily, for it extends from his body at least a good five inches, a woman's vaginal area is hidden, deeply enclosed by her body. We often have to sit in an awkward position to see it, and to view its internal parts, sit in front of a mirror. Our relationship with our vagina is often left up to our fingers rather than our eyes. While most men can tell you exactly what the head of their penis looks like, a woman is more likely to rattle off the contents of her beach tote with more accuracy than how her clitoris appears when engorged. This is sad, but mostly the fault of biology.

Chances are, you partner has a better idea of what your pubic areas look like than you do. I can remember the first time I looked at myself in a mirror and cringed. I never wanted to have sex again. I thought my vagina was "ugly" and "gross." I have never intentionally looked at that closely again.

The best sex we have is when we are emotionally attached to what we are doing. Like any job or hobby, when we are most interested and concerned with the project, we do our best work. Women are not socialized to believe that phalluses are unattractive, let alone their own genitals for that matter. However, men are socialized to bond tight relations to their penis; caring about size, appearance, and pleasure of their "little" heads over the one sitting on their shoulders.

According to sexual psychoanalyst Paul Joannides, when a group of heterosexual college age men and women were placed in a room to view pornography, both gay male and heterosexual, more than half attested to the fact that they believed the "gay" actors performed better fellatio on their partners than the women in the heterosexual films. His theory is that men have such a strong emotional connection to genitalia, and have much more experience viewing and analyzing the physiology behind their penises. Gay men use their hands less while performing fellatio, and make a more intense connection with the genitalia in comparison with a woman's more intense connection with her partner as a whole.

It goes without little competition, that gay men, or men in general, are far better partners in the department of oral sensation. I feel this is directly connected with our biological structure, and a man's ability to bond a deep connection with his genitalia, that few woman are able to have with their own.

In conclusion to this theoretical basis of fellatio performance, I recently read of an experiment held at a Fraternity in Colorado. A frat brother was taken into a room, blind-folded and told that a "sexy blonde female" would be performing oral sex on him. When he came, the "woman" was removed from the room. The frat brother said it was the "best oral sex he had ever had" and that it was in no way half as good as anything he had felt with any girl at college. After being told that he had actually been pleasured by a gay man, the frat boy was shocked, and in further testing that day, could not hold an erection, let alone reach climax again.

This goes to show, that maybe the big head has a lot more to do with the little heads reaction than we thought, as well as to be said again, men are far better at giving head than the ladies.