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Click hereIt’s an Odd Wind
It’s an odd wind, this westerly
that buffets the street.
Sometimes a mint-vinegared scent
wafts along the tar seal.
Sometimes roasts float
on the breeze, beguile
the mind and alert
the taste buds. And sometimes,
as I sniff the air,
my slanted green eyes stalk
the neighbours’ silky bantam.
I agree with highnoon+, mint-vinegared is on the bizarre side, of course that's my favorite side and ditto the last two lines.
eerie, almost. I hate the score thing, because I think it is closer to 95 than 75,but I didnt want to hit 100% and have only voted a 4.
I might suggest one tiny change.
where you have "mint-vinegared", try it without the - ed on vinegar. It makes it softer, just by the deletion of the hard "d" sound
the rest of the poem seems fem throughout ( regardless of the sex of the bird, lol)
.
I really enjoyed this, made me think of howling winds and halloween :)
...you've made here, WSO. "Sometimes roasts float/on the breeze" is, I think, quite good. I also agree with 1201 that the last two lines are excellent.
tz