Education of Chelsea: Fantasies

Dear Master,

You said that you wanted to know what my deepest sexual fantasy is. I have been trying to think if there is one that I would label as the "deepest." I guess I'm not real clear on what that means because by that I would assume either the one that I think about the most or the one that I really want to have done. So I'm going to try and do my best to answer your question based on my interpretation of your command.

To me, fantasies are just that ... fantasies; which means they either have no chance of ever coming true or there is such a small chance that it isn't even considered. So in that aspect my fantasy is to live out what we have online and be together the way I have dreamed about ever since you made me your slave. That's my "deepest" fantasy; but I get the feeling that you already know that one and instead, are looking for the sexual aspect of what goes on in my mind.

I have come a long way since we first started talking, even before I admitted that I needed you and that the realization of where I belonged found voice at your feet. The things that I had written about were the outlet for what was going on inside. But you wanted to take it a step further and make it real for me. So the question really is ... what next? Where does chelsea go from here?

Honestly, I don't know; there is so much left to explore that I don't even know where to start. Sometimes I feel like a virgin and so naïve when I lay curled up at your feet. There is that fear; that uncharted territory that beckons me closer even though I can't give voice to it because of the lack of vocabulary or knowledge of what lay in store for me. But I know that my fear has ebbed ... I no longer just blindly fear. Instead, I blindly trust; something I never thought I would do ever again. But you have shown me that to place my trust in you is as natural and necessary as breathing.

My sexuality is something that I am still discovering at your feet. Its weird how after all this time with me writing about these kinds of things that it still is so foreign in actuality.; there's so much that I can write about when it comes to using my imagination but when I get down to the nitty gritty of "me," I can't really find the words. Then there is that whole debate on whether or not a slave girl can have any limits or the ability to say "No, I won't do that." There are definitely some things in my mind where I say, "I reeeeeeally don't want to go there." Some things are definite hard lines in my mind: any involvement with animals, children, golden showers, scat; no matter what, those things scream "Hell NO!" despite what my status is.

But the rest is either up for grabs or I really don't know what all is an option. You know me; I'm not a pain slut, by far. The thought of needles or knives or blood makes me light-headed. But these things I trust that you will take care of me because you are my Owner, the one I have laid my life and heart in your hands. I trust you which, as you know, has been a major change for me after the heartbreak of my past. It's been hard to let crumbling walls fall completely. It's been painful at times to open back up old wounds so that they could finally heal. But I trust you.

So yes, I want to experience things with you. I want to give you free reign over my sexuality and the ultimate discovery of the slut that lives within me. I want to be your personal little fuck toy. I want to be well used and sore the following days because you have found unsurpassed pleasure in my body. I want to be the cause of your body throbbing and aching to have another moment alone with me. I want our passion and lust to be the ultimate aphrodisiac and something that never grows dim.

YOU are my sexual fantasy; living a life at your feet ... pleasing you with every inch of my flesh ... being used time and again unless your lust is sated only to recharge with me nestled between your thighs in nothing more than your collar on my throat and your cum on my tongue. That's my deepest sexual fantasies, all rolled up into one.

I love you.

Eternally devoted,

Your chelsea