Cuts Me

Your words cut me like a knife,
They wound me to the core.
I should be used to it,
My skin should be tougher.
I can it take and so I do.
I absorb everything you say to me.

But it doesn’t slough off,
It sticks to my soul,
Cutting out the light,
Hiding in deep crevices.
When you are done and I am alone,
Out come the words to finish me off.

They rattle around inside my brain,
Echoing and repeating every line,
Every derogatory statement, every hurtful word,
Inside my head like a ricocheting bullet.

Then last but not the least is when the strikes fly,
You egg me on until I cannot stand it and out I lash,
Finally you do it, you breach the wall,
You batter through the fortress and a reaction you get.
I hit you and you hit me.

Its been going on for a while but never this bad.
Each blow shoves me further inside myself.
Erecting that wall higher and higher,
Attempting to keep myself safe from the anguish.

I really should have learned by now,
It should be my mantra,
Those that get close are the ones that hurt you.
It’s the ones that get inside that deal the most pain.

Each word, each blow, cuts me to the core.