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Click hereI’m sitting, contemplating,
the setting of the sun
like one’s that came before it
and those still yet to come
each share a certain likeness
though with many variations
the hues, the blues, evening dews
the clouds subtle striations
the harsh orb meets horizon
to take it’s final bow
I see days past more clearly
as darkness soothes my brow
I kiss the stars one last time
weary yet embracing night
no more sunsets, no more dawns
to rest in peace, forego the fight
that has been written about much, but yet you do a very nice job in handling it. i too like the 3rd stanza......nicely done......don
This is tighter than your other poem above, and has the feeling of melancholy I think you tried to write into it. Suicide is a hard thing to write about without going astray somewhere. It is not easy to keep a proper separation from the words as a writer must. It seems you like internal rhyme, but here i think you should reconsider, since it doesn't seem to jive with the theme and may give some readers a soothing feeling that will hide what you are truly writing about.
Edits:
No comma needed, I don't think, after 'contemplating.'
one's = ones
clouds = clouds'
it's = its
this verse grabs the mind with a multitude of images...ty...blue
the harsh orb meets horizon
to take it’s final bow
I see days past more clearly
as darkness soothes my brow
and all the better for it! Thanks for sharing!