- Non-Erotic Poetry
- The Ballad Of Tobias Finch
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Tobias died all alone
they found him hanging
at his crumbling ranch
He hadn't eaten for ten days
hair was matted and grey
eyes wide open
blue as the local lake
he had left this cruel world
nobody gave a damn
they say he was stinking rich
not a penny was found
Tobias was't stupid
buried it in a secret place
his ghost would return to collect
at his own convenience
not a soul went to the funeral
Tobias had no friends
alone in his grave
sleeping for eternity
farewell Tobias Finch
the richest man
in the spirit world.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousalmost 18 years agoI hate to sound pedantic but this isn't really a ballad. A ballad is like a song in its form, written simply with a refrain.
What you've written is a narrative poem. It has a good rythmn and imagery but your language slips a bit. There isn't much atmosphere for the reader to hold onto.
But, at the heart of this is a very promising poem.
Keep up the good work!
