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Click here'The limerick's an art form complex
Whose contents run chiefly to sex
It's famous for virgins
And masculine urgin's
And vulgar, erotic effects'
Rupert Hart-Davies
AUSSIE LIMERICKS (1 - 20)
There was a young lady fromAbbotsford
With fucking became somewhat bored
What she really liked best
Was being caressed
And the tonguing she simply adored
There was a young lady fromAberdare
Who said - 'Sir, please have a care
Your passion's quite hot
But your aiming is not
And your cum's made a mess in my hair'
There was a young lady fromAberdeen
Liked to fuck a man who was lean -
'When their stomach is thin
I get more of them in
I'm sure you know what I mean!'
There was a young lady fromAberglassyn
Got a yen for a boy, just in passin
Made a grab for his piece
He called for police
She was put on a bond for harassin
There was a young lady fromAbermain
Who found she could always come again
She drained all the lads
And also their dads
Then most of the men on a train
There was a young lady fromAbernethy
Whose figure's trim, taut and sassie
But when around town she jogs
She's chased by the dogs
Which she kicks - 'My name's Cathy, not Lassie'
There was a young lady fromAddington
Who created huge breasts just by padding them
Which attracted the boys
Who loved tits as toys
But they left when they'd some uncladding done
There was a young lady fromAdelong
Whose lover's equipment was long
So long and so thick
That when filled with his prick
She quite often would burst into song
There was a young lady fromAdjungbilly
Liked boys with a well hung willy
Few hairs on their balls
And their arse none at all
But about that she was really being silly
There was a young lady fromAinslie
Said - 'There's an aspect of sex really pains me
My love, normally kind
Likes to screw my behind
When he's done with my bum he then canes me'
There was a young lady fromAirds
Dreamed often and long about lairds
It wasn't their lilt
But the things 'neath their kilt
All dangly, and hairy - and bared
There was a young lady fromAirly
To fuck all her boys, rose early
But queued at her gate
Were those who woke late
And felt they'd been treated unfairly
There was a young lady fromAlberton
At a race, a dead cert, put her shirt on
When the nag came in last
Had the barman to ask
For a curtain to make a new skirt from
There was a young lady fromAlbury
Had her nipple compared with a strawberry
The left one that is
The right caused a tizz
In size, shape and taste - more blueberry
There was a young lady fromAlexandra
Liked the songs sung by Francis Sinatra
Any similar crooning
Would soon have her swooning
If the words had a double entendre
There was a young lady fromAlison
Had a long, hot affair with the vicar's son
But having slipped into bed
With his Daddy, she said -
'Tween father and son there's no comparison'
There was a young lady fromAllandale
For leud screwing in public was in jail
Then caused much disorder
By charging each warder
And using the cash as her bail
There was a young lady fromAnglesea
Took a class to improve her literacy
But her young tutor's good looks
Took her mind off the books
And she mastered a course in degeneracy
There was a young lady fromAnnandale
Whose virtue created a trail
Of heart-broken lads
Their brothers and Dads
They tried, how they tried - but they'd fail
There was a young lady fromAntwerp
Has a bird in a cage that can't chirp
She's tried teaching it songs
It just sits all day long
Eats seeds, looks around and then burps