- Non-Erotic Poetry
- mathematic variations with cat
Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click here
drawing a circle around the fable's invisible avenue
following the white premonitions
the hyperboles and the polygons
of your desire
the city suspends
disproves the thesis enounced by the high priests
the ruins of the temple
are figures of transcendence
when we see a cat go by
we declare the impossibility of all deaths
we elude the demonstration
and the war thinkers
I hesitate on parallel lines
on the infinity that travels them
notice the intelligence
of my hand inside the mouth you drew
let us return to steel
to the gelid theorem
the sacred book of brumes and myth
with silence for pages
- COMMENTS
LeBrozalmost 17 years agoThis poem was mentioned in the Archival Review thread, in a picking through Lit's archive of over 36,000 poems.
----------
Lauren Hyndeover 17 years agoAuthorThanks, Liar. Perhaps I didn't express myself correctly in that comment about respect for the reader. What I mean is that when I write, I neither dumb down nor intentionally make things more difficult than what they come to me. I think that's the highest form of respect one can have for one's readers. I don't, obviously, except them to instantly get every reference without looking - I sometimes have to look up even the most basic words, and I know you understand that, being in a situation similar to mine - nor did I mean to imply everything here is so bleeding obvious. I can and have done bleeding obvious too, but this isn't it. If it were, though, in this particular poem, I don't think it would have been half as fun to write or (eventually) read, don't you agree? :)
And the PM will follow.
Liarover 17 years ago...mentionen in the previous comment...
If you wish to indulge me, maybe a PM would be better than here. It might disturb the experience for other readers. :)
/Liar again
Liarover 17 years agoLauren,
Afraid I'll have to react a little against your earlier comments here about respect, preciseness of semeantics and all that. (They don't show the other comments when you write a comment, so I can't give you an exact quote, I hope you get what I'm referring to.) I don't doubt that every word, phrase and passage is carefully chosen to mean exactly what you want it to mean.
But I really have to ask you...who is your presumed reader here? You mention you respect your reader and expect him/her to, basically, get what the poem is all about without further help.
I can only speak from my own point of view, a fairly educated guy at grips with at least basic science, philosophy, history and cultural references. And those I don't have stored I can usually look up. I had to look up a lot for this one, but I found what I was looking for, and set out to try to comprehend what you wrote.
And believe me when I say that there are many ways to creatively connect the dots. But none that seems natural and so bleedingly obvious as you're implying. Poetry is text and text is nothing but communication. And frankly, despite a well rested head and a solid effort, I can't get your poem to talk to me. All I manage to see is thematic mish-mash and non-sequitir notions in a fancy wrapping.
From this I draw the conclusion that it's either not written to talk to somebody like me, or it failed in it's communication.
So I have to ask: What's the thesis here? Can you realte it in a more stringent and maybe less poetic way? Maybe then I can understand the structure by means of "reverse engineer" reading.
What I see and can appreciate though, is a competent and confident display in prosodics. (and that along is worth a high vote in my book) A few beats I would have done differently perhaps, but thank god we're not all alike in voice and deliverance. How dull wouldn't that be, eh? :)
