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The sky doesn't exist.
Merely a naked distance
where the rumour of earth reflects
like the echo of your voice,
you should name the moon love
and each star a sigh.
If by chance the tail
of some comet lost
in the splendour of such solitude
happens to be me,
remember what I want the most
and don't say it's just a heavenly body.
I like the almost terseness of this and prefer it to your "Reinvention" piece.
Reminiscent of one of my favorite poets, John Donne in one of his Metaphysical poems where the distance from the beloved is worked out into a calculus which eliminated that distance into an appearance only. It was the extended metaphor of the compass and the passion of a lover which enabled him to achieve the morphing of distance and space into intimate closeness (reserved only for lovers of course).
When it comes to the sound and the echo metaphors I am struck by the similarity in the overall poetics between the poets in this respect of their work. First, The combination of the “cold” materials of celestial bodies; Astronomy and such as denoting emotional distance and states of mind and the “hot” core emotions of love and longing. Second, the use of rational analysis, or better said rationally sounding analysis to alleviate emotional distress. Interestingly there is a difference in the second stanza, where vulnerability; sense of insecurity; fear of loss are allowed to stay and remain acknowledged for what they are. They translate into the night skies – this time, with the image of a passing comet. It’s so shining, but for a passing moment - then disappearing again. I would be an anxious comet too…
Took an astronomy class oh so very many years ago; don't remember covering this topic which you cover so well.
Beautiful metaphor using the elements of the heavens as a guide.
sensual with the deft imagery I remember you for
Mentioned in today's new poem reviews