A Gray Area Ch. 15

Cadent could swear on her life she was having an out of body experience. Everything had suddenly become so surreal. Well maybe not suddenly, but when Caden noticed it, the surrealism of the whole experience barred down on her like a sandbag.

She had woken up early that morning, eager and fidgety for her morning breakfast with Jon. The warm shower she took didn't help to calm her nerves and she had to re-do her hair three times, burning herself on her flat iron each time. For as much trouble as she went through she had prayed the morning would be worth it. Collin had called as she stepped out the door, wishing her luck and balls, in the proverbial sense.

Jon had been there before her, which was what she hadn't wanted. He had brought a red blanket and home cooked food was strewn across it in Tupperware containers and on plastic plates. For ten minutes she had picked though her food nervously before he took her plate and kissed her.

"Chill out," he had commanded softly. The rest of the morning had been filled with random kisses and walks around the park. They talked about anything and possibly everything. For an hour or two they dropped by Jon's mom's place and listened to her ramble on about women's rights and other fights she was blindly going after. For lunch they had gone to her favorite restaurant and sat had there till night.

Which brought her to where she was now.

She sat in Jon's car in the empty parking lot of Wal-Mart. The smell of burgers wafted through the air and made her stomach growl despite the fact that her cheeseburger lay open in front of her. She didn't want to eat. She barely even heard her stomach growl. Her mind was other places, focused on other things.

One of those other things sat less then two feet away from her, crumpling up the wrapping from his burger and throwing it into the bag beside him. He glanced up at her and the surreal feeling that had been suffocating her ended abruptly.

Seeing that he was staring now, Caden began picking at her burger, pretending to have an appetite.

"I'm sorry to have dragged you to my mom's house," he stated, he sounded genuinely apologetic and that bizarre feeling threatened to come up again. "Are your ears okay? I saw you rubbing them four hours into her lecture about the conspiracy against women in America."

Caden smiled. She ripped off a piece of the hamburger bun and nibbled at it before saying, "Some of the things she had to say were actually pretty interesting. Your dad lost a valuable wife and encyclopedia."

Jon took the hamburger from her hands. "You don't have to eat it if you're not hungry." His voice was quite and it was then that she remembered that they were in the confines of the car. His very restricting car and if he felt the urge to lean in for a quick one, the only way to escape him would be to meld her head with the windshield. Cady cleared her throat before speaking again. "Today was nice-"Jon gave her a skeptical look, so she added "seriously. We should do it again sometime."

"Maybe next time I'll take you out somewhere fancy." His voice was quite. Caden nodded. "You don't have to. The way things were was fine." The car fell into silence before Caden shifted in her seat, feet to the back of the chair, back to the glove compartment. She could see him perfectly. The lighting from the parking lot spilled into the car, illuminating Jon's face on one side.

"This is super cheesy but...this is nice. I like...being here in the car, just hanging out. It reminds me of the old days." It had taken her twenty seconds longer to say that than she had originally planned. She hated how nervous she sounded. Jon let his head lull back on the seat. "The old days..." he said in a sigh.

"Should I stay quiet so you can reminisce?"

For a second Jon stayed quiet, answering her question with silence but he smiled and looked up at her. "I'm not so sure if I really liked the old days." His answer was a shocker and she bore her emotion on her face. "You can't be that surprised to hear that."

"No, I really am. You were always out partying, doing the rich boy thing—"

"Oh, is that what it's called?"

"Ssh, lemme finish. You were always out partying and enjoying yourself. Drinking and drugs." Cady waited a tick before adding, "and sex."

Jon laughed out loud, catching Caden off guard. "You wanna hear a secret?" he asked, after calming himself down.

With skeptical eyes, Cady replied, "I'm not sure..."

Jon sat up, moving closer to her. "I didn't have as much sex as you think I did."

"Really?" That was a genuine lie; it had to be. "So your telling me that you partied at some of the hottest spots in California, every night, might I add, and your dad, asshole he may be, is a very well-off man with a very well-off son that everyone knows-" She took a breath. "And you didn't get laid just about every night?"

"No, I did get laid just about every night but not by random girls that I met at clubs, like you think. I had sex with one person, and you know who that one person is."

Caden was quiet as she stared in to Jon's serious hazel eyes. He looked as if he would kiss her but didn't. "Me." She mouthed the words softly, and her heart skipped a beat when he glanced down at her lips. "Yeah." He leaned in, slowly melding his lips with hers. His tongue battled with hers softly for supremacy, his hands found their way into her soft hair and behind her warm neck.

God, she wanted more of this—this feeling of being free and unburdened by anything. The feelings that had been running rampant through her head, melted away with the first touch of his lips. Her thoughts were a soft void of nothing. Her stomach that had been doing flips earlier was still and for the first time that night, quiet. She allowed her muscles to relax, and as if Jon felt that he hoisted her over the gear shift and onto his lap. She made a soft noise as she settled over him, straddling his lap.

She could feel him settled perfectly between her legs and all at once her feelings returned to her and pooled hot in between her legs. She ground herself onto him and felt him strong and hard, constricted by his jeans. Jon released her mouth to allow a gasp to escape. His head lulled back on the chair and he breathed hard for a few seconds before raising himself back to look at her.

"You are so beautiful." He couldn't have stopped himself from saying it even when they were mere thoughts in his brain. She did look beautiful, now, with her head slightly thrown back and eyes closed, trying her best to get close to him, and all the time-whether she was happy, sad or angry.

Cady opened her eyes to him. She smiled, but the smile faltered when he raised his hips and ground himself into her. She parted her lips and a moan escaped.

"We could leave..." Jon suggested. He sat up, pressing his lips against Caden's exposed neck. "Let's go to your condo, please." The hand that had been on her hips, keeping her steady, drifted under the dress she had put on this morning. He played with the seam of her panties before moving upwards to her breasts. Caden stifled a moan as Jon found her nipple through her thin bra and teased it. His lips found hers again and she moaned into them. "Please," he begged, still whispering.

A familiar tune broke out in the car, causing Cady to jump and bump her head on the roof of the car. "You cell phone's ringing..." he sounded disappointed. His head dropped onto his headrest, discouraged. She leaned into the seat over and pulled her cell phone from the side compartment.

"It's Collin"

Jon nodded. His eyes were closed, trying to ignore the fact that every time Caden moved, she caused friction between herself and his crotch.

"Hello?"

There was mumbling from the other end.

"No, I'm at Wal-Mart."

Jon smiled at her half lie.

"No, not really, why?" A moment of silence passed. "Is she okay?" Her voice was panicked and she shifted slightly off of Jon but still on him enough to cause a reaction. He closed his eyes again and took in a deep breath. "Please get off," He mouthed to her. She ignored him.

"Are you sure? Alright, Alright....No, I can be there in te--...No! I will be there...don't worry about me." Caden pulled the phone from her ear and snapped it closed. "Can you take me to Delaney's?"

"What's wrong?" He asked, sitting up, slightly alert and still slightly hard. "Deity's there. Her and Ray are stirring up trouble. She just got off house arrest. If Shane gets there, he isn't gonna put up with any drama from her."

Jon nodded and helped Caden back into her seat with minimal contact with each other.

Delaney's was unusually busy for a Thursday night. But of course the reason why people were all gathered outside wasn't because of open mic night.

Jon parked in a no parking zone and got out, Caden right behind him. They pushed through the crowd to the middle and weren't surprised to see Deity and Ray, standing in front of each other. The expressions on their faces would scare Freddy Krueger.

Caden took a protective step forward but a security guard stopped her. "What are you crowd control? That's my sister." She pushed through his hands and walked towards Dee.

"Deity?" She walked up to her sister and touched her shoulder. Deity didn't even glance at her. "Are you okay?" C.K. asked.

"What do you care?" Dee whispered. She took a step back from Ray. Then another, then another till she had backed up into the crowd. Now she looked at her sister. Her black eyes looked like coal, cold and lifeless. "You know I care, Dee."

"Do I now?" C.K.'s younger sister pushed through the crowd and started down the road. Collin, who had appeared out of nowhere, followed. Jon began walking and Caden shadowed him, trying to catch up to her sister before she reached the highway.

"Deity, what happened?" Caden asked. The black haired girl didn't give an answer nor did she slow her pace. They were all invisible to her. Caden knew it now. No one mattered to Deity. It was just her and that was the only person she looked out for. The thought of the whole thing made Caden angry and she sped up and caught Deity's arm spinning the smaller girl around.

"You think it's all about you, don't you? You think that the only person you have to look out for is yourself and you can just leave whenever you want and cause problems aroundvtown? Leave me to take care of mom while you go out and do whatever you want?"

"Even if I did leave mom in your care, would you take care of her?" Deity yelled. "Would you honestly take care of her or would you leave just like you did last time?" Deity took a step and pushed her older sister back. "Oh, poor little Caden. Her step daddy died and her boyfriend doesn't want to admit that he fucked her brains out so she left. So she ran. She left everything up to Deity. And poor insignificant Deity can barely stay out of trouble let alone keep her mother out of the hospital. That poor girl."

Caden shook her head, furious. She didn't care that Collin and Jon were watching anymore. It had become personal so fast. A police car pulled up behind Deity and Shane stepped out but that still didn't stop her. "Yeah, poor Deity. She let's her boyfriend beat the shit out of her and she wants sympathy from everyone. But when she doesn't get it she has temper tantrums, kind of like the one she is having now. Grow up, Deity" Caden screamed. "Grow the fuck up. Your not the only one that misses him, you know. Have some fucking consideration for others."

Deity laughed but there was no amusement in her voice. "You're telling me to grow up? Me? The one that had to pick up the slack while you were gone—"

"What slack, Dee? There was no slack! There was nothing! I paid for the funeral with my own goddamn money. I paid for your bail out of juvenile hall with my own goddamn money because mom's assets froze but you...your lazy ass couldn't stay out of trouble for a minute. You had to get arrested. You had to do drugs. You had to fuck every guy you see. Why?"

Shane came up behind Deity, cautiously. "Deity, get in the car." His voice was a soft command and for a second it seemed like she would obey it.

"Why? You want to know why, Cady? Because you don't know how hard it was. I loved my daddy. My daddy. Not yours. My father. Not your washed up, drugged up, bastard father. My daddy who stayed with mom and loved her. But you were always the favorite. You could do no wrong. Daddy knew that you and Jon fucked every single night! But he always had an excuse for you two. It was always okay. But I got caught with condoms in my purse and I was grounded for a month. Daddy loved you, always. He loved Jon. He loved Shane; he loved mommy but not me. I was just there. But the guys. Yeah, you know the guys?" Deity glanced back at Shane. "Those guys that I fuck every time I see them? They love me. They come to me for things."

"They don't love you," Shane corrected, disgust weighed heavily in his voice. "Your father loved you more than anything, and if that's your excuse for your behavior, Dee...then you are pathetic." The admittance of his emotion seemed to shock Deity. No just shock her though; it seemed to hit her with force. "I expected more from you but I guess not, huh?" The tall man backed up to his car and got in. "Caden's right, Deity." He started his car and switched it into reverse. "Grow up." And he was gone.

There was silence on the street, other than Deity and Caden's heavy breathing. "De—" The younger girl raised a hand to stop he sister from speaking. " Shut up. Just shut up." She turned and ran away. C.K. made no attempt to go after her and when Collin did Jon stopped him. "Let her be by herself. She needs to think."

Caden stayed quiet as Jon drove her home. He hadn't really expected her to talk and when he stood with her outside her door he was fully prepared for the barrage of tears that erupted. He held for a while as she emptied her eyes. He soothed her with peaceful reassurances and comments. "It's not okay." C.K. corrected him. He knew it wasn't and when he thought back to it he wasn't sure why he had told her it was. "Just get some sleep," he whispered. Opening the door to her condo and letting her in."You don't wanna come in?" A chill went down Jon's spine at the invite but he kenw there was complete innocence in it. "No," he declined. "But tomorrow...maybe." Jon turned to walk away but stopped. He glanced back at her. "Tomorrow, definitely."

And he walked down the stairs, casually getting into his car, and drove away.