- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Words
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I am missing words
insinuation through arrangement
the implication of what could be
given certain circumstance
the repetition of reality
moments once realized, now a shadow
which exist only with moonlight
three glasses of wine and want
I remember a woman, a dream
who moved without feet, floated
along corridors of hand held candelabras
ethereal, not of this earth
who brought heaven to heart, mouth and loins
ambrosia to a starving soul, depleted
by years of going without the whisper
of words of tenderness into orphaned ears
- COMMENTS
WickedEvealmost 17 years agoHey! I like a lot of this, but it feels like it needs a little more work, maybe a few changes. At first I didn't like candelabras in this poem. It seemed like a fat ass on a skinny woman, but you may like that sort of thing. I guess it works okay, though. Anyway, thanks for the read. :)
GuiltyPleasurealmost 17 years agoTender and wistful with some well chosen phrases all bound together smoothly. I like.
Tess
Tathagataalmost 17 years agothis verse:
"the repetition of reality
moments once realized, now a shadow
which exist only with moonlight
three glasses of wine and want"
I know exactly how that feels.
The last verse is the strongest as far as emotional content, and ties it up nicely.
A few different word choices would strengthen it up immensely.
Don't abandon this one.
Thanks for the read
