Ten Quick Tips for Better Sex

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Veteran call girl gives advice.
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I might as well start earning my keep and living up to my billing. Everything I write is original material, don't ever think I am just repeating a post I see somewhere else on the Net that looks cool. What I tell you comes from everything I've seen and heard.

Here is some news you can use right away. If there were a handful of things I could tell you quickly to help you in your sex life, here they are.

1. SEX IS 90% BETWEEN THE EARS. It sounds like a cliché. But there are reasons why you see hot guys with ordinary girls and vice versa. Money might be the issue, or compatibility, or mental state, or how much alcohol you've consumed. Or, dare I say it, they might actually be in love. Even if you are with someone you don't necessarily love, but you want it bad, and you end up thinking of some cheerleader from high school you had a crush on to get yourself off, it's still all mental.

2. SEX WITH SOMEONE YOU GENUINELY LOVE IS BETTER THAN SEX WITH SOMEONE YOU'RE HOT FOR. There is a reason why my ex-husband and girlfriend have been with me since my early-20's, because I genuinely love them, and they are the best fucks in the world as far as I'm concerned. Yes, we started as being hot for one another, but as we grew closer, the sex became more intense. We became freer with our bodies and were willing to try new things. Honestly, if you think sex during marriage is a bore, you need to re-examine your marriage, why you got married, and how into your spouse you truly are. It should be liberating, not enslaving.

3. DON'T DO ANYTHING HALF-ASSED. If there is something you don't want to do, don't do it. Don't ask your partner to do something he or she is not comfortable with, because it will suck. If your girlfriend is not down with sucking your cock, don't coerce her, don't guilt her, by all means, you have to sell her on the act, not make her do it. She will do it half-heartedly, hating it the whole time, and you will not enjoy it nearly as much as if she enthusiastically got on her knees and pleasured you. Don't do anything if your heart isn't in it, because it not be satisfying at all.

4. TREAT YOUR PARTNER AS IF HE OR SHE WERE AN ANGEL SENT STRAIGHT FROM HEAVEN, JUST FOR YOU. No one owes you a fuck. No one has to pleasure you. Every person you come into contact with is a present from the gods. Make love to your partner as if he or she was created specifically for you. Even if it's just a drunken one-night stand, even if you're cheating on your spouse, your partner-du-jour did not have to be there with you. If you absolutely needs sex, you can masturbate. No one has to fuck you if they don't want to.

5. USE YOUR ENTIRE MOUTH WHEN GIVING HEAD. You can tell if a partner doesn't want to suck your cock, they will just put it in their mouths timidly, jack you off if you're lucky, and you will have to make due. Good fellatio involves not just your lips, but the inside of your cheeks, your teeth, your jaw, your esophagus, even your gag reflex. As I said, if you don't want to do it, don't do it and don't let yourself be coerced into it. But if you do, learn to use your entire mouth and throat. Not only will he find pleasure in it, but you'll find pleasure in it too, feeling his long thick cock pushing down your throat, your lips stretch around the base of his shaft.

6. USE YOUR ENTIRE BODY DURING SEX. Don't rely on just having a big cock to ensure a good fuck, and don't just lay there when he is inside you. Your genitals are full of raw nerve endings that are specifically there to make you cum intensely. You're not going to discover them unless you do some work. And you're not going to enjoy his cock unless you let it fill you deeply, which means letting yourself go and squirming under him, letting it touch every spot inside you. Above all, if you're doing it right, you will want to move around and feel him. You will want to feel him in your mouth, in your pussy, in your ass, between your breasts. The whole body is an erogenous zone if you let it be.

7. SIZE MATTERS, BUT IT'S NOT THE MOST INPORTANT THING. The vagina is designed to be able to handle only about four to five inches of cock, which means, although a thick healthy cock is a fantastic thing to have, even an average-sized cock will make a woman cum hard. Hence, penis size is important, but not the most important thing. Likewise, women place much of her female ego on the size of her chest, and after several augmentations myself, I am no exception. Size is probably more important to how a girl looks than how a boy fucks. Even so, you can have the fullest, most lovely tits in the bar, but if you don't present them right, they're just bags of fat. You can't just jut them out and expect men to come. They have to be packaged right and part of a complete body. Tits, ass, waist, hips, they all matter, and they all have to work in concert. Size is important, but not the end-all.

8. DON'T HAVE ANAL SEX WITH FAT PEOPLE. Trust me on this one. There is nothing that kills a hot night more than pulling a finger or cock out of a person's ass, and it is brown. Some might think dirty sanchezes are sexy, but hell no, not me, and not any girl work spending time with. It's almost not worth having anal sex unless your partner is a borderline anorexic, someone you know has a vacant set of intestines. The thinner the partner, the better the anal, because if a person doesn't have to defecate, the anus becomes as pure a sexual orifice as the vagina. Hint: the less you have to spend on dinner, the better the anal.

9. IF YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT PREGNANCY OR DISEASE, DON'T HAVE SEX AT ALL. I mean this sincerely. Sex was designed by nature to get you knocked up. Humankind is a little different in seeking pleasure, but the end is the same. If this frightens you, if the realization that there are things like AIDS out there bothers you, if you don't want a baby, then don't have sex. I say this because sex is not a necessity. It is a luxury. If you partake, do so with all your might, recklessly, without care. Give yourself completely into it. You don't HAVE to have sex. Masturbate if you have to just get yourself off. It really is okay to say No. Don't feel like you have to give into pressure. Sex is a beautiful thing, but it's not for the timid. If you're scared of getting knocked up or getting a disease, don't try to use condoms to prevent them, or diaphragms. That isn't sex. I rarely use condoms in my line of work, and that is because my clientele is no longer consistent of stray boys from God knows where. I am not afraid of pregnancy or disease for various reasons which I'll talk about later. If you have to discuss contraception in having sex, just don't bother. Just jack off or finger yourself.

10. EVERYONE IS BISEXUAL. Almost every guy who read this sentence just gasped in horror and said NO WAY I'M NO FAG. Everyone man and woman in this world is designed to have homosexual sex as well as heterosexual. I've said it in different ways, but if you're uncomfortable with something don't partake. But I've met some very macho bisexual men and many very effeminate bisexual women. If a guy says he will do anything to be with you, there's nothing wrong in finding out what ANYTHING means, so long as you don't make him do anything he really doesn't want to do. Dare him, but expect to be dared back. Turnabout is fair play. If you want to watch him suck cock, expect him to want to watch you eat pussy. Don't make it a requirement for sex, if that's the case, you're making ultimatums, conditions, and that takes away from the free exploration of sex.

I hope some of that helps you in your journey through life. I am eager to hear your responses to this, and I encourage you to write to me and ask me anything that comes to mind.

Your dirty girl, Olivia. XXX

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lenalovesfunlenalovesfunover 12 years ago

I would have to disagree with not having sex with a fat person. A lot of times bigger people take better care of themselves and just because a girl is skinny doesn't mean her intestines are empty. I know a lot of skinny girls that whatever they want and never work out its a lot of metabolism. And besides if its that bad try an enema.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago

Some good advice about the important role of love and emotions in sex. (Lovemaking is a great thing; in order for it to be real lovemaking, there has to be some real love there, right?)

However, your discussion of condoms and birth control is WAY off the mark. It's downright irresponsible to tell people they should not bother with condoms or contraception when they are having sex outside of a committed, long-term, monogamous relationship. People can DIE if they do that. (And no, I'm sorry, but no matter how well you feel you trust or have faith in your partner, if there's even a modest chance that one or both of you have not been faithful to each in the last few years, they could be carrying a disease that could lead to suffering and/or death for themselves and you. Not everyone who has an STD "looks" sick. They may not even know--yet--that they have the disease.) As for unintended, unwanted pregnancies, it's stupid to not use contraception if you do not want to bring a baby into the world. Sex between people who are not 100% monogamous should NOT (contrary to what you've advised) be "reckless." That's how people end up with huge moral dilemmas about what to do when a pregnancy occurs--needlessly occurs. It's 2011. Responsible people use condoms for disease prevention and a back-up form of birth control, if necessary, because the stakes are high and they have some respect for themselves and their partners. Nothing cool at all about being RECKLESS in a non-monogamous relationship.

AddammAddammalmost 15 years ago
You're not completely expert, despite your work..

I know a professional whore may know a lot about sex, but she doesn't necessarily know everything. Her job title can intimidate people to defer to her opinions on sex. Let me challenge that.

I know a bit about sex myself as a thoughful, observant participant. I also know a few whores socially and in bed (not for money), and some just haven't a clue. Some, I said. They know a lot of facts about men and routine sex but not much about the connection between feeling and sex, and what the finest fucking means.

The argument you make for not doing anal sex with a fat person is odd and incorrect. Skinny people store shit in their bowels, too. Otherwise they'd be dead.

There's no point in pushing the point aggressively that "everyone" is bisexual. Some homo- and bi-sexual people push this line hard. Knock off the crap. Not everyone is like that, and that's fine. Don't be boorish about it.

You're plain irresponsible to talk wildly in your oh-so-dionysiac, "no fear" way about no-condom sex. I love bareback myself but it's not wrong or cissyish to worry about pregnancy and disease. The best sex is unrestrained, but not to the point of mad recklessness. Are you too self-destructive to give advice to others? Just a thought; you use heroin, after all.

You said, "I am not afraid of pregnancy or disease for various reasons which I'll talk about later." May I take you up on that? I would like to hear more: you're an interesting writer.

Thank you.

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
Excelent. I disagree on one point

I agree with everything except for "no anal with fat chicks". I love BBWs and I married one that I love more than anything. She is most definatly a big girl and the anal sex is amazing. Maybe its just me, but after four years of regular anal sex with her, nothing like that has ever happend. In fact I find anal sex with a BBW is far more satisfying than with a skinny woman. Otherwise, outstanding writing.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 16 years ago
One of the stupidest things I've read in a while

"8. DON'T HAVE ANAL SEX WITH FAT PEOPLE."

The reasoning behind this tip is moronic. Fat people eat a lot and therefore always have shit in their intestines, hurrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Sounds more like it was written by a drunken 22 year old frat boy.

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