A Christmas Cock

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A tragedy is averted with a wonderful Christmas Gift.
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In all my years working as an emergency room attendant I had never seen anything like what happened that Christmas Eve. The weather outside had been frightful, just like the song, with sub freezing temperatures, some snow and high winds. The weather must have kept most people inside because on a normally busy night at the emergency room, it was dead this evening. With the on call doctors all burrowed away sleeping somewhere in the hospital, it was only nurses and attendants sitting watching "It's a Wonderful Life" on the waiting room TV.

We did have one doctor in our group but he had finished his shift two hours earlier but it was simply too cold and windy for him to want to go home. Instead he decided to celebrate Christmas in the ER, so he dipped into a bit of the medicinal stock several of the interns had hidden and was now three drinks on his way to getting wasted. The on-duty staff kept away from the hard stuff, but as a few others finished up shifts, they joined the doctor in his celebration.

Finally around one a.m. they had a call from an inbound ambulance. As the staff started getting prepared for the incoming patient, they paged one of the on call doctors, who appeared in about five minutes, looking a bit groggy. The initial reports coming from the ambulance seemed strange, they were transporting a body part that had apparently been amputated from a man. Currently they were transporting only the body part, while police and firemen search the area looking for a victim.

"What body part are we waiting for," Dr. Jackson, the on call doctor asked.

"Ah Doctor, it appears we will be getting in one penis," one of the nurses said, trying to keep from giggling.

"Have you been drinking nurse," Dr. Jackson asked.

"No sir," she replied.

"No one on duty has had any alcohol, just Dr. Belton, who went off shift at ten and the three others watching TV," I added.

"Okay, let's try and keep this professional. With the cold weather we may have an opportunity to save whatever limb or organ that was lost. I'm going to my office to research the procedure, page me when the ambulance is two minutes out. Also, once you get word they've found the rest of the victim I want you to page team two."

We watched as he headed to the elevator. When the doors closed one of the nurses said, "That guy gives me the creeps."

"Why is that," I asked.

"He was on of the top surgeons in his field working at John's Hopkins, but had a breakdown several years ago. I don't know all the details but I heard some of the people back at Hopkins call him Frankenstein," she replied.

"Frankenstein, no wonder he wants to get his hand's on that cock," I said.

"Let's keep it professional now."

"Okay, okay, that penis."

When the ambulance called in that it was two minutes out I paged Dr. Jackson, who instructed us to immediately ice the penis down when it arrived. I quickly hurried into the storeroom, grabbed an insulated container and filled it with ice. Walking away from the ice machine I heard loud laughter coming from the waiting room so I ran to the entry hall.

The ambulance crew rolled in their gurney carrying a gallon freezer storage back packed with ice and the rather large penis which was sticking partially out of the bag. Dr. Belton was on his back in the waiting room, laughing loudly. Several others were wiping tears from their eyes, while those of us on duty tried valiantly not to laugh.

In all honesty it wasn't really funny, some unfortunate person was suffering badly, but for a group of people used to facing the most horrible of human circumstance, the sight of the cock, excuse me, penis on the gurney did seem to break the tension. Fortunately by the time Dr. Jackson appeared everyone had pretty much settled down. He even complimented the ambulance crew for going to the extra precaution of using the gurney.

Anyway, after all the commotion and the rushing around, we got the penis packed on ice and then waited and waited. Around five a.m. the police called us and indicated they were calling off the search in the area. They had searched the area and couldn't find any indication of an accident, a struggle or anything. There was no blood except for a tiny spot where the penis was found, no one could explain it.

When Dr. Jackson heard the news he walked back into the elevator murmuring something about lividity and blood supply. As the doors were closing he shouted out, "Keep that penis on ice, don't move it, don't..." the closing doors cut off the rest of his instructions. After checking the penis, I went into one of the storerooms and climbed onto a cot to take a nap.

It was only about an hour later when I woke up feeling refreshed and ready for whatever Christmas Morning was going to bring. As I stepped out of the store room, Sandy, one of the ER nurses asked, "Where have you been?"

"I was in the storeroom taking a nap. I told Marie where I was, why, did they find the penis victim?"

She shook her head, "No."

"Well, what's wrong then, did the penis get damaged?"

"No, it's worse than that."

"What is it?"

"Dr. Jackson, he lost it, he flipped out."

"He lost it? What did he do?"

"He came back convinced the penis would not be viable without a blood supply," she replied.

"What did he do, hook it up to one of the machines?"

"No, he attached the penis."

"But you said they didn't find the victim."

"They didn't."

"What, or oh my God, who did he attach it to."

"Marie."

"Where is she?"

I followed Sandy into one of the treatment rooms. Marie on her back sleeping, one arm was draped over a table where the penis was attached near her right wrist. Apparently one of the others didn't understand the gravity of the problem because there was a red bow with a ribbon wrapped around it.

Looking closely at the penis and then where it attached to Marie's wrist I had to admit, Dr. Jackson had done a masterful job. The penis looked very healthy, and the point of attachment was solid with no sign of lividity or bruising. For now both the woman and the penis were resting comfortably and actually showed signs of thriving.

"Okay, look where is Dr. Belton?" I asked.

"He's sleeping in the waiting room. He was still drinking just an hour ago."

"When he wakes up, don't let him drink any more. We're going to need his help. Don't let anyone else know about what happened, only let the people who do know look in on Marie. I'm going to see if I can reach Dr. Winsler before this leaks out to the press."

It turns out Dr. Winsler had gone on Christmas vacation and I didn't dare call any of the administrators yet. I'd just have to wait until Dr. Belton sobered up. When I headed back through the ER to check on Marie I heard some strange moaning coming from the treatment room.

Rather than barge in the door, I moved the blinds slightly so I could peek in. Marie was now fully away, sitting up in a chair. Her legs were spread wide open and she had apparently pulled off her panties. I watched as she moved her right arm down between her legs and slowly pushed the erect cock into her pussy. She began moving her arm in and out as the huge cock appeared to be throbbing and pulsating as it moved in and out of her.

Her hips began to move as she ground her clit against her arm and then withdrew, only the thrust the cock back into herself. In just a few moments she held her head back, closed her eye and moaned as she obviously was coming. She paused and as the orgasm seemed to subside I was about to go into the room when she started fucking herself with the cock again.

I could hear the chair squeaking now as her hips moved back and forth with the thrusting of the cock. She moved faster and faster until she arched her back and came again, but this time as soon as she came she seemed to slump and began to slip out of the chair. I called out to Sandy and rushed in, catching Marie before she fell onto the floor.

Picking her up, I got her back onto the table and put her arm out on the table again. I checked all the stitches as Sandy took Marie's blood pressure and pulse. The cock appeared to be in fine condition.

"Her blood pressure is a bit low, I guess she fainted," Sandy said.

"Damn, it's all the blood in the cock that did it."

"What do you mean?"

"When the cock got erect where do you think the blood came from?"

"Oh damn, no wonder her blood pressure went down," Sandy replied.

Suddenly Dr. Jackson rushed in with several other doctors shouting, "They found the victim, prep her for surgery."

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"We remove the penis from her arm and re-attach it to the victim. Now help me get her onto the gurney," he said reaching for her legs.

I helped them load Marie onto the gurney and watched them wheel her out of the treatment room and head to the elevators. Dr. Jackson broke off from the group and began shouting at the attendant sitting behind the sign in desk. In a few minutes an ambulance pulled up to the door and a gurney appeared, this time with a man on it.

The victim was wheeled into a treatment room and then almost as suddenly they wheeled him out and headed to the elevators with Dr. Jackson walking quickly behind. The elevator doors closed and it was suddenly quiet in the ER again. I grabbed a chair and sat down waiting for my shift to end.

When the time finally rolled around I headed up to the recovery room wanting to check on Marie. She was still sleeping when I got there so I sat down and once again waited. After about an hour she began to wake up, so I sat up and told her, "Good morning and Merry Christmas."

"Oh Marcus, thank you, but what am I doing here?"

"There was a bit of excitement in ER last night and you must have fainted."

"Fainted? I never faint," she replied.

"Well you sure fooled me, one second there you were and then suddenly I had to catch you before you hit the floor."

"You caught me?"

I just smiled.

"I did get a wonderful Christmas present. They must have meant it as a joke, but someone gave me this dildo that seemed just so real. I think they taped it to my arm and then put a bow around it. But it was so realistic, I mean it actually grew."

"Grew?"

"Yes, it was not very big and a bit soft to start with, but as I began to handle it some it grew, just like a real one." Looking around the room and toward the door to make sure no one else could hear she began whispering, "I actually tried it out and it was incredible. I mean I must have come two or three times, it was almost better than the real thing."

"Sounds like something strange to me," I said skeptically.

"No I'm telling you it got hard and it felt real. It's now here now, have you seen it."

"Was it that thing with the red ribbon, about this long?"

"It was that long when it was soft."

"You know I remember seeing something like that down in one of the treatment rooms. I think in all the confusion though someone made off with it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I cleaned up the treatment rooms before my shift ended and I didn't see it anywhere."

"Oh hell, that was the best Christmas present I think I ever got. I'm gonna miss that thing," she said.

"Not nearly as much as that poor guy would have," I mumbled to myself.

"What was that?"

"I said that at least you got to try it out. And hey, all you have to do is go buy you one, now that you know what you are looking for."

"I'll have to start looking later, I'm feeling pretty tired now," she said.

"Get some sleep and Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas Marcus."

I headed out of the recovery room and looked over across the hall. Dr. Jackson was smiling, shaking the hands of several of his team members. I guessed the surgery was over and it appeared to be a success. Frankenstein was suddenly a grand hero. Shaking my head I walked to the elevator and rode back down to ER.

"Marcus," Sandy waved to me.

"Hey Sandy, Marie is looking good, still a bit groggy."

"Did you hear what happened?"

"I saw Dr. Jackson up there celebrating, so I guess he got it all attached."

"Oh that's not the half of it, apparently the victim is some big shot, they've got a news conference scheduled and everything."

"Damn, look Marie doesn't know what happened. She told me about waking up and finding a Christmas Gift, a dildo wrapped in a red ribbon and bow. She actually tried it out, right before she fainted."

"You're kidding."

"Swear to God, I saw it all," I said.

"You were watching?"

I nodded.

"You letch. Ah, no wonder you caught her before she hit the floor."

"Oh Sandy it was incredible, I wish I could move like that cock did. She told me about it too, I think it really impressed her."

"So now we'll all have to listen to her story of her Christmas Cock."

"Yeah, another of her stories about the one that got away. At least this time there's no guy attached to it all. Merry Christmas Sandy, I'm heading home. Hey, you might go up and make sure Marie doesn't see that press conference."

"Good idea, and hey, Merry Christmas to you."

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tink84tink84over 13 years ago

This should be in Humours/Satire. It was HILARIOUS!!!!

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
Mey

This really could have been a GOOD story ~! Maybe if it was told in the third person without the dialogue. Constant dialogue requires (IMHO) character development and growth (no pun intended). Unfortunately, it was like reading a 70's low-budget porn script without the bad music.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 16 years ago

There was so much that could have been done with the idea. Sorry but this didn't work for me. Maybe others will enjoy the story.

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