I'm a Beast Ch. 03

This story is dedicated to all of the girls that tried to keep their virginity and their boyfriend, to all of the wives that tried to keep their mate sated and faithful.

Techsan read and edited the dedication above and the following story. Now I add techsan to the dedication. He edited about a fifth of this story and read the remaining parts that I had finished. He said, "I like what you've done with the story so far and am looking forward to see where it goes."

The original intent was to finish and release this in early October but things happen. I feel driven to live up to his expectations and I hope I succeed. The world is a poorer place without techson and I am a richer man for his touch upon my life.

You will understand this story better if you have already read Chapters 01-02. The following is unedited as I am still trying to connect with an editor. I'm open to any suggestions and please remember to vote.

***

When I awoke the first thing I remembered was 'that's one to remember'. Yes indeed I decided. It had been a very good Friday night and it was sure to be a subject on the morning walk talk. There was a part of some nebulous dream at the edge of my thoughts. Try as I might I was not able to grasp it even though it had seemed so important.

Our walk talk was starting out promising. Trista was finishing expressing her thoughts and feelings of the previous night.

"The sex was really good last night."

"Oh yeah."

"It's times like that when I don't mind sucking your cock. I almost did last night."

Before I had time to engage my brain I replied.

"Almost, it's always almost. You realize it's been two months since you've had my cock in your mouth."

"I didn't know that you were keeping track."

I should have shut up then but no ... this was too easy to answer. Plus the tone of her voice was meant to cowl me and I refused to let it slide.

"I'm not, but it was when you went from obese to overweight. That was two months ago. I love how far we've come with our sex life these last few months but I really expected more progress in this area. My cock in your mouth used to be standard fair rather than a rare affair."

Finally my mind caught up with my mouth and I started to think. Here I'm bitching about not getting my cock sucked after I'd made her beg for me to fuck her ass last night. I'd just had the best sex in a long time and I'm bitching but I can't help it.

"Blowjobs blowjobs that's all you think about. I'm so tired of hearing about it."

There was no mistaking her tone this time. It was meant to end this discussion. She was right in a sense. Although it definitely wasn't 'all of the time' it was often enough to recognize the signs. We had been down this road many times before but with less and less frequency. I let it drop for now and vowed to somehow make her understand and comprehend how important it was to me.

I finished the conversation with, "Trista, I love you. I have always loved you. Have you ever wondered why I said yes so quickly when you asked me for a commitment those many years ago?"

I could tell from the look on her face that she was caught in thought. I stayed quiet and left her to ponder what I had said.

Trista had to work that day while I was left at home with nothing to do but think about how to ensure she understands. I hadn't succeeded in 23 years so what could I do that I haven't already done. What came to me was the following letter. I spent the rest of the day composing it. It had to be just right because I would only get one chance, maybe my last chance.

Trista, I love you.

I told you this morning that I have always loved you. I explained that when you asked for a commitment from me that my decision was already made. There was no hesitation, simply a proposal of marriage. You probably never thought it would be so easy. You couldn't believe it was happening. You never knew that I was only waiting for you to make a request or express a demand. All of these years and you never wondered why it was so easy. There were reasons, reasons we never talked about. It hurts that I have never felt comfortable enough to talk to you about them. I wonder if you ever found my proposal odd. I do not think that I gave you the response you expected in the time you expected. Yet in all of these years it never came up. I never brought it up out of fear, fear of your response more than fear of the answers.

I love what we have been doing lately in our relationship. We have both expressed desires to take our relationship to a new level. It is because of my newfound comfort with you resulting from this desire and commitment that I even attempt to open this dialog. I am not trying to upset you. I am trying to get you to understand how I feel. Only you can exorcise my inner demons. Only you can calm my fears and doubts. You can only do this by talking with me, not by falling back on defense and then going on the offense. I ask for nothing more than openness and understanding. I am not threatening you, nor am I giving ultimatums. I am simply trying to open a dialog, trying to come to an understanding.

Trista, I love you.

I have always loved you.

I loved you before we made love that very special first time. I already knew that I could spend the rest of my life with you. I couldn't and wouldn't take your virginity, callously use you and then discard you. When we made love it was a big commitment for both of us. Yours was the biggest commitment of all. You gave me something no one ever had and something you could only give once, your virginity. You saved yourself for me. I was special. I wasn't like all of the other boys and men. I thought 'No one has ever done that for me. You must truly love me.' I knew I had to live up to the special gift you had given me.

Trista, I love you.

I have always loved you.

I loved you before you gave me that first blowjob. You were the best looking and best lover I had ever had. Who would have ever thought that such willingness and enthusiasm could come from someone not experienced in the ways of the world. When you took my member in your mouth I knew it was special. Only one other lover had done this for me. You were a Gem. When my orgasm approached I expected you to pull it out and jack me to completion. Instead you kept right on going. When I came in your mouth I was surprised, but not as surprised as I was going to be. When that first stream hit your throat you swallowed with a glug. It felt incredible. I had never felt this before and I responded with another load more powerful than the first. This caused you to go glug glug. My member responded with an even more powerful eruption. When I felt your throat go glug, glug, glug I thought 'How long can I continue having more and more powerful orgasms.' Sadly that was the last one. The following spasms were of decreasing intensity. I was sated. For the second time I thought 'No one has ever done that for me. You must truly love me.' I knew I wouldn't let you go. You were not a Gem. You where a Pearl of great price.

Trista, I love you.

I have always loved you.

I loved you before I took your anal cherry. You were the most responsive lover that I had ever had. Who would have expected your sexuality, sensual passion and vocal orgasms? The first time I slipped my finger in your ass while I was eating your pussy I knew you loved it from the ear-piercing scream of pleasure. No other lover had ever let me do this to them. You were anally responsive and it would only be a matter of time until you would beg me to fuck your ass. The day that you finally begged me I was just about to blow my load in your luscious pussy with two fingers in your ass. You kept begging as I slid my fingers and cock from your orifices. As the head of my cock touched your asshole you backed onto it. When you had me buried in your ass I touched your clit and you started bucking in orgasm against me. Your bucking and contractions started my own orgasm. Your aura of sound and anal contractions were incredible. I had never felt this way before. For the third time I thought 'No one has ever done that for me. You must truly love me.' I knew I wouldn't let you go, couldn't let you go. We had to survive. I had to marry the mother of my future children. You didn't know it then but I was truly yours.

We are now living that future and you have given me the two most wonderful children I could hope for. I love you and our life together. So now you know the sexual foundation of my love for you. It was all of the special things you had done for me that no one else had. You have done things for me that my slut ex-girlfriend could never do. You have loved me unconditionally and I have trusted you like I could never trust her. I knew that I could live with and trust you for the rest of my life and you with me. Now do you understand why my marriage proposal came so easy? The die was already cast. I was already yours for the asking.

This sexual foundation was built upon three pillars, the minimum for a stable platform. Less than three and you are continually balancing. We have built a lot on this foundation. When you stopped letting me cum in your mouth and finally stopped giving blowjobs altogether it weakened that foundation and it need not be. All of the reasons for stopping that you now give had to be valid before we were married. Yet you did not express them. It was the opposite that you portrayed. You seemed to relish the power it gave you over me. I can only explain your actions as deceitful, a ploy to get your man. If one pillar of the foundation was built on deceit it brings the others into question. Whenever I approach these three subjects you go on defense and then launch an offense. There is no discussion. If you've read this far maybe now you can understand why I feel as strongly as I do about the current blowjob situation.

It is not deceit or illicit sex that destroys marriages; it is the loss of trust and that is the most important pillar in any marriage. The fact that you were better in the sack than my slut ex-girlfriend would not have been nearly enough for a relationship without the absolute trust. You healed my scares and made me love again. That is why even questioning that trust hurts so bad. Trista, I love the way our love life is improving. I can only hope it mirrors my love for you, better every day. Since we have recommitted ourselves to one another it has been terrific. Our walks and talks seem to help clear your mind and it shows in the bedroom. When I recommitted myself to you I made a commitment to myself. I promised to take the time to maintain you properly in bed. The time we've invested together has made going to bed with you a pleasure. It makes me want to invest more time in pleasuring you. I will give you the time you deserve. No wham bam thank you ma'am. It wouldn't be fair to you. It is all or nothing. I hope it has been as fun for you as it has been for me and that I have not been a burden on you.

Trista, I love you.

I have always loved you.

Joe

With the letter finished I had little more to do than contemplate how to avoid the firestorm when Trista came home.

To be continued:

The following chapters will be posted in the category that best fits them. I will post them when they are edited. My intent was to post chapters of a finished story rather than a work in progress. I apologize for that but we still need an editor.