- Reviews & Essays
- Humiliation as Erotica
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Click hereMost of us men who become aroused through humiliation walk a fine line. We feel as men we need to put up a macho front not to let the world know we are really wimps who would love to have our women walk all over us. Most of us are not lucky enough to have a woman who enjoys humiliating us as much we enjoy being humiliated.
Personally, I am married to a strong willed woman who I love to please in any way she would desire. How arousing it would be to become her personal servant, to bow before her and attend her every need. Although my wife enjoys the attention I give her she would never accept a husband as a personal servant, no she wants a man for a husband not a wimp. Therefore as her husband, I live the lie, I act as head of household, and although she makes all of the decisions regarding our marriage she always asks my advice on these matters. Still if we have a little role-play in the bedroom, I like to call her my queen and to let her know her wish is my command. She seems to enjoy this and sometimes she will order me to paint her toenails or to bath her as she relaxes in the bath. She thinks I do this just to be nice to her not knowing it turns me on more than her. Sometimes she will sit on my face and tell me I will not be allowed to breathe until after I make her cum.
I cannot tell my wife that my fantasies go much farther than hers. I fantasize about my wife being in the French Royalty and as her personal servant; my main job is to hide under her petticoats as she sits at court pleasuring her with my mouth and tongue all day long. It is highly erotic to think of her using my face for her pleasure whenever she felt the urge and giving no care to what might pleasure me. Another fantasy I have is my wife telling me she is going to cuckold me because I am not equipped well enough to pleasure her. She will tell me that I must stay home to clean the house while she is out with her lover and that if I do a good enough job she will tell me about her date as she feeds me the cream pie he has deposited in her. I even dream of her having me wear a chastity tube so I can't play with myself while she is gone and only allowing me to cum if she feels like it.
I am not sure how I became a person who gets off on such things and because it is something, most men would not discuss in public. As much as I love humiliation, I would not want the world to know I did. I am sure there are many men who get off on this because of the stories I write I get much more hits on the ones that include this type of story line. As for me personally, I might have acquired my quirk during my childhood. I grew up in a neighborhood where I was the only boy. With most of the girls being older and smarter than me, I was ill-equipped to spar verbally with them and as a boy I was not allowed to be physical with them so all I could do was take it. I do know after becoming a man some of my earliest fantasies were of being forced to please a woman. Being tied up or even better being sat on by a woman and forced to please her orally would really get me off. Of course, this was silly I would gladly please any woman who asked me, no force would be needed.
When I met my first wife I, had no idea that I was excited by humiliation I just didn't recognize the triggers that turned me on. My first wife knew just what to do to make me putty in her hands. I was completely wrapped around her fingers and I both hated it and loved it at the same time. She even cuckolded me before we were married and when I caught her at it she just blew it off as not that bad and if I loved her, I would understand. Yet I was expected to be true to her and if I were caught, even looking at another girl there would be hell to pay. After we married, she quit her job and 'let' me support her yet I still helped with the housework after I got home from work. After totally embarrassing me by openly running around and sleeping with a close friend I packed my bags and moved out. She expressed surprise at my leaving but not remorse from her affair. It was then I began to learn of my deviancy sitting alone and masturbating while thinking of her fucking my friend and everyone we knew laughing at me. The more humiliation I would think of the harder I would cum until I finally realized it was the humiliation that was turning me on. My wife divorced me to marry another who would support her and left me to a life of fantasy without reality.
So have faith all of you men out there who enjoy this type of perversion. I know you did not choose this lifestyle and I know you cannot change the way you feel. I guess if we could be macho studs we would be but believe me I would rather be my queen's personal servant, how about you.
- COMMENTS
greenman440about 5 years agoI'm sure with some physcological help you can better understand your feeling and to at least some degree overcome them. Being a truly submissive guy is only going to appeal to a small number of women and probably not very nice women at that. Your own marriage failed probably in part due to that. To find and maintain a healthy relationship, you need to change.
DevotaMaidabout 13 years agoI have the impression that a certain masochistic streak is very common, if not part of everyone's sexual psyche.
I have this crazy theory that a strong partner turns us on because we see it as a evolutionary advantage. This is why we like to be submissive to a strong woman. But there are all kinds of ways of being strong. A man, who is submissive in bed, might still be strong and successful in real life. He is therefore still sexy to her. And even if he is not successful, there might be other ways in which he is strong.
My wife is a strong woman and I also love humiliation in my fantasies. She knows about it. She is sometimes domineering but sometimes she likes to be dominated and treated like a submissive whore. This also turns me on. I like it when she is enjoying herself and I like to press her buttons.
About your wife not knowing about your desires, I can just tell you that my wife initially didn't know much and I was scared. She then found one of my stories. She was outraged at first but then told me that it secretely turned her on. Since then, I tell her about my crazy fantasies and we love to talk about them together as a turn on.
I have the impression that most women want to make their husbands sexually fulfilled and happy. And she will indulge his fantasies if they are not physically or emotionally damaging to her. My wife likes the fantasy of cuckolding but she wouldn't want to do it because it would cause an emotional conflict for her to sleep with other men. I understand and respect that. I am glad she loves me that much.
Anyway, I enjoyed you essay. But you are not a wimp because you like to be sexually humiliated. Those who appear strong are also weak the vice versa.
Anonymousover 13 years agoSome very coherent comments, always good to see, especially the one above from Liquer. But most surprising is the take from our dear friend on Lit. Mr. Nyminus. Interesting and intelligent.
liqueurover 13 years agoIt's a shame you didn't know yourself well enough to stay with your first wife— she obviously had an instinctive talent for tripping your triggers. I'd guess that at that time, she knew you better than you knew yourself. I wonder about your present wife, though— if she knew how much subservience turns you on, are you so sure she wouldn't like it? You say "she wants a real man," but you also say she's a strong woman who makes all the decisions. I'm not so sure she'a as unaware of your inner self as you think she is.
I'm in much the same boat as you, though I've never been cuckolded, willingly or otherwise. My present wife knows I'd be okay with that (I don't know if she knows how much I'd get off on it) but, although she occasionally likes to joke about it during sex, she's made it pretty clear that she's a one-man woman and staying that way... Other men would consider that a blessing, I suppose.
I was humiliated by older girls as a young boy— including being strippped of my pants and made fun of. I don't know when I became fully aware the humiliation was erotic to me, but even my earliest fantasies were full of it. As I look back now, there were a lot of girls and women in my life that seemed to have had an instinct for this part of me, and how to get at it— but mostly before I was self-aware enough to play along (as with you and your first wife).
About being macho to cover the submissive side: I think I got over that a long time ago (I'm almost 60) but it's amazing how many women just _assume_ macho in a man they like or respect. At work recently, a group of us were gathered in the kitchen during a break. I was wearing a pink shirt (to go with my pink panties) and a young woman, very attractive, new to the organization, said to me, with a trace of mockery in her voice, "It takes a real man to wear pink!" I said, "no one ever accused me of that before." She got it, I think; she laughed and then got quiet; I could see her thinking, but not wanting to say too much in mixed company.
But another woman, closer to my age, and someone I supervise, didn't get it at all, and had to pursue it. She said (thinking she was explaining something to me), "it takes someone who's very secure in his masculinity." I replied, "or devoid of it." She let it drop then, obviously confused and perhaps a little uncomfortable.
Not a very safe conversation to have in the workplace— but the older I get the less willing I am to play the roles expected of me. What it did point out for me is the level of assumption that so many women have about machismo and masculinity, and that these assuptions are much more prevalent in women my own age. Before my present marriage, I spent a lot of time with women who were half my age. This was not because I'm an "ageist", I believe, but only because I found that younger women were much more tolerant and open-minded about issues around sexuality and gender-play than women my age. Sad, but I found it to be true again and again.
Angelscuckover 14 years agoRight on brother! I am one of the few lucky men who has found a woman who will play these fantasy games with me and still believes I am a macho man. Lucky me.
