Waiting on the Sun

It was September, I was a gust of wind
something less than I should have been
it wasn't her cunt that kept me coming back
despite the way it river...ed at my command

Have you ever been in a place
where you are your own deciple  ?
Where you lose God enough
to have to have someone     ?

I was walking and talking to myself
thinking about Cindy and the first time
I ate her cunt, how I moaned because I loved it
then realized later that I loved her

It's a fucked up world because no one prepares us
for the times that matter most

they let us go into a crowd and wish us well
then later they tell us where we fucked up
as if they were never led by loins

it's everybody's secret
finding time alone to beat it off
feel the rushing wave of pleasure
the great release and then a sigh

we all know it's not enough by now
except for kids running to bed
with their fingers in their pants
dreaming about someone
called TABOO, or out of reach

I am not a designer of dreams
my dreams die faster than the rain
I am a poet preaching poverty
to the starving souls just beyond my reach

II.

Once, I swear I saw her
that ONE woman I could fuck like a train
then love enough to hold forever
but life is just a lie at times
we accept it, or get bitter,
or get better as we get wetter
then find ourselves singing "Clementime"

I like tits
I like to suck on them
to fuck them
to feel them in my face

My doctor tells me it's because I was breast fed
he asked about the size and shape of my Mother's tits; I knew then we should shift places
Instead I said:

"What about my friend Art ??
who likes tits  more than me

he was  bottle fed?"

I like them small and large but always attached to good eyes
I wouldn't want them hanging on my wall on hooks
there is something more to tits than tits themselves
yes, it's the eyes above them that drive me mad

III.

Yesterday,  I said fuck you to her
in my own mind, she doesn't need to hear it
because she can't comprehend loss beyond the pain

She has fuck me hips and blow job lips
blue eyes that cry in summer rain
she is both whore and heart
then something more,
yes, she is is so much more,
 
one dark, then light,
moment at a time.

I see the sun dance on waving water
blessed enough to bounce back and beckon
all the dreams that surface on a new tide
waiting on bikinis to paint my world anew

Yes, here I am
waiting on my best poem
it's coming to me ................ slowly
one bad poem at a time

ajs