The XXXMas Song

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Shaved nuts slapping arses by the fire,
Jack tossed off and sprays Jill's nose.
Yuletide call girls rack up bills by the hour
While elves strap on infrared dildos.

Every swinger knows
A blowjob under mistletoe
Sets the mood for bukkake right,
Tiny tits jizzed by knobs all aglow
Will plump to double G's tonight.

They know that Santa's aching for a lay,
He's letting loose his load on sex toys on his sleigh.
And every mom's grown son is gonna spy
To catch a horny MILF give head through hubby's fly.

And so I'm hoping you repeat this phrase
To pervs that number ninety-two.
Although we've been screwed many times, many ways,
"Merry XXXMas to you."

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tellstory2jaketellstory2jakeover 13 years ago
Holiday Chaos

Well, Santa did start looking at those 'sex toys for big boys', and began to try some of them. Air traffic controllers began to get reports of a very jolly Santa zigzagging wildly across the sky. Presents just falling onto front lawns or rooftops. Whole towns getting ignored. Mrs. Claus calls Santa on his cell phone and asks, "What's going on up there?". Santa shakes his head, puts away those toys, and replies, "Sorry, I got distracted for a minute. I'll go back and straighten things out.". Mrs. Claus comments, "OK. Well, get back to work. You can tell me all about it when you get home."

tellstory2jaketellstory2jakeover 13 years ago
Holiday cheer

Thanks for your new words to an old song. Now I know another reason Santa is so jolly.. getting all those sex toys ready for horny women around the world.

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