- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Breathing Without Oxygen
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Breathing
without oxygen.
Pumping
without blood.
Rising
without limbs.
I am a ghost
misting outside your window.
you turn from your crimson painting
brush in hand
frown at the February sky
pull your sweater against the chill
and draw the curtains
tightly.
I pound phantom fists
But the still fence
goes on dreaming of the spring vegetables
you will plant.
I wail and scream and cry
But no one hears.
The only sound
ticka ticka ticka
dead vines
on your peeling porch
in the winter wind.
- COMMENTS
DehviantGirlabout 12 years agoI love it when an author makes me feel. I enjoy of course laughing, I enjoy even more the sexual arousal I feel while reading the smut I enjoy so much, but those responses are fairly ordinary. It's the author that makes me feel sad, or even those that make me love a protagonist so much I actually cry during a read that ensures I truly consider the author and their daring behind their words.
I suppose I find these things.... compelling. Yes - it's my search of these things that keep me reading. Very nice.
Chiara_searchesabout 13 years agoThis brought back memories of my own ghost time. Thank you for sharing it.
Initially I was going to agree that the stanza length change was a bit jarring. But it seems to evoke the idea that you are more complete, have more to say and tell more about her than you tell of your ghost. So in trying to discern your stylistic reasons, I think I actually like it. It's like a rip of the readers attention from you to her.
Paashaabout 13 years agoI liked this poem and 5'd it. The ghost feels real and the misty loneliness throughout is haunting. However, I think the stanza's need to be reworked and not entirely sure if the first stanza should be the title. Often enough the eye makes the title part of the poem, more so the way Literotica publishes poetry. The title of this poem and the first line being the same makes it redundant, but a good poem in all. Thanks.
vrosej10about 13 years agoI loved this one very much. It knocked my sox off. My only criticism would be that the change in stanza length was disconcerting but I am not sure how it could be fixed. Getting a recommend.
