Visiting Hours at Sunny View

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Faces scrubbed and medium pink,
rare as cube steak a week ago Sunday,
incorporated the visiting room
as golf every Saturday Dad
with Soccer Mom and Listen Up Beth
said he had more chores to do,
and a blue haired lady room thirty two
cheek by jowl with her daughter
bobbed up and down on her thyroid,
awake long enough to say hello
to someone she thought she ought to know,
while Charlie wearing his Christmas tie
he always wears on visiting day
shouted "Whatsa matter, Fred?
Price agas too much again?"
at the automatic door
that opened for a little girl
whose plastic bag of Cheerios
spilled when she started to cry.

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3 Comments
PoetGuyPoetGuyabout 13 years ago
Perhaps it is Poet Guy's lack of careful reading,

but the images in this poem seem a bit confused, or at least not as coherent as they ought to be. The general tenor of the poem, with perhaps the exception of the ending, seems straightforward enough, but the referents are somewhat confused, at least to Poet Guy. The little girl with the Cheerios, though a vivid image, is confusing--not sure why she is startled or whatever caused her to spill her cereal.

The general impression of the poem is strong--the casual, off-hand attitude of family visiting old people in a retirement facillity--but the details, though strong in themselves, get confusing as to specifics.

Anyway, Poet Guy's impression. Very interesting effort, though, as always.

vrosej10vrosej10about 13 years ago
~

There's a recurrent sad note to your work at the moment. Are you okay?

KobaKobaabout 13 years ago

This hits hard! Strong emotion! Very good. I especially liked "Soccer Mom and Listen Up Beth". A good poem!

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