Hell Conceived For Ballerinas.

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vrosej10
vrosej10
31 Followers

permanently imperfect
shackled to the barre
in rose chiffon, slippers
they switch pose to pose
all repeating identically
all repeating ad infinitum
imprisoned between mirrors.

vrosej10
vrosej10
31 Followers
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buttersbuttersabout 13 years ago
oh crumbs

i forgot to mention the final extension you provide us with in the delivery of that image... the mirrors opening out, one after the other, endlessly... it's fant-tastic! (and i like how it makes me think of the extension required by the dancer's limbs, time after time after time....)

buttersbuttersabout 13 years ago
loved this, V

great visuals, tight, colour <i>and</i> movement!

don't like the suggestion for 'toe-points' but that may be more a language/cultural thing... pumps don't quite do it justice, and 'pointes' would certainly provide the hellishness. however, perhaps 'demi-pointes switch pose to pose' might work even better sound-wise, linking throughout the write with similar sounds and offering that bridge between the softness of the rose chiffon and the harsh inflexibility of pointes... means you could drop that 'they' from the line; it angles out a bit and not in a good way for me.

ishtatishtatabout 13 years ago
!!

As good as anything you have done. previous comment about slippers is on the mark but Im uncertain about toe shoes

greenmountaineergreenmountaineerabout 13 years ago

This is damn good! I loved the first line after the title. "Perfectly imperfect" seems such a perfect (pardon me) way to describe hell for a ballerina who represents perhaps more than any other artistic convention striving for perfection. Don't we all in our poetry? and the not making it

shackles" us (at least some of us) forever.

A very high 5 from me who usually has reservations about very brief lines of verse.

fridayamfridayamabout 13 years ago
Hi Vee

I'm going to be Doubting Thomas and say that the beginning and end are wonderful but the lines "slippers/they switch pose to pose" need developing (and not for toe-shoes!). This is the poem's weak point(e). Much love.

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