Lament of the Children's Poet Laureate

Poem Info
115 words
3.5
2.3k
0
Poem does not have any tags
Share this Poem

Font Size

Default Font Size

Font Spacing

Default Font Spacing

Font Face

Default Font Face

Reading Theme

Default Theme (White)
You need to Log In or Sign Up to have your customization saved in your Literotica profile.
PUBLIC BETA

Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.

You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.

Click here

So why do I write mostly lines
For two to four year olds to hear?
Because they love the sound of rhymes
That never mind but please the ear.

Adults? Well, that depends on the kind
Of adult for whom I am writing.
Sometimes I'll tack on a syllable
For those who would pawn possessions
That they may bring gifts to their children,
Go to church or temple or don't,
But give of themselves every day,
Knowing the true purpose of worship,

And I write for my father and mother
Whose bodies once were put in an oven
By those who one day would discover
They had been putting their own souls in.


Please rate this poem
The author would appreciate your feedback.
  • COMMENTS
Anonymous
Our Comments Policy is available in the Lit FAQ
Post as:
Anonymous
12 Comments
greenmountaineergreenmountaineeralmost 13 years agoAuthor
Reply to 1201

You're right about the last stanza. I should have wrestled with it more and not have submitted it until I wrote something I was more satisfied with.

It's reasonable to assume the poet was Jewish. While many Reform Jews do not believe in the concept of he'll, many others, I think, do. See:

http://judaism.about.com/library/3_askrabbi_o/bl_simmons_afterlife.htm

The rabbi makes specific mention of the Holocaust as well.

twelveoonetwelveoonealmost 13 years ago
Seriously

I had no idea the PF had a Children's Poet Laureate, a note would be in order. Now which one? Is he Jewish, did this happen? Why the need for something to be reduced to 4 lines, Poetgoy's suggestion about keeping the last two lines, in view that this is supposed to be from an old man...well trite to the point of reprehensibility. From what I understand Jews don't have that concept of a fiery hell. Was he a Catholic, you do need that explanation. His metric suggestion verges on the insane, find the words for the voice, clean it up after. 30% subsitution, is what I believe, real meterheads would accept, unless he is one of those hard core neos.

greenmountaineergreenmountaineeralmost 13 years agoAuthor
Reply to bogusagain

I meant once as "some indefinite time in the past.". I put that in quotes because that's the 3rd listing for the word in Merriam Webster.com.

bogusagainbogusagainalmost 13 years ago
****

I was going with this all away to the last three lines. The is nothing wrong with the subject, which is powerful stuff and I feel the poem petered out somewhat.

Whose bodies once were put in an oven

Bodies can only be put in an oven once and would the people doing the deed discover they hard incinerated their own souls? Or are you refering when they too are dead?

greenmountaineergreenmountaineeralmost 13 years agoAuthor

Thank you, Poet Guy, also for your comments. I did, in fact try to vary meter and rhyme, according to the narrative, but still am dissatisfied with the last 4 lines. On the one hand, I thought it needed to be expanded, but whenever I did that, it seemed to result in pontification which I think would have blemished the idea of childlike innocence I attempted to portray. Leaving it as it is, however, brings it dangerously close to appearing to be maudlin, and to some perhaps it is.

There may be other flaws as you hinted, but those would be in the upper right box of the Johari Window for me right now.

Show More
Share this Poem