Sylvia's Mother -alternative lyrics

SYLVIA'S MOTHER
Alternative lyrics to Dr. Hook's classic song

Sylvia's mother said she wouldn't talk to me
She'd given up all of our dreams.

Sylvia's mother said she'd started hookin'
For any old guy with the means.

Sylvia's mother said Sylvia's busy
Too busy to come to the phone.

And the operator said forty cents more for the next three minutes

Please Mrs. Avery I just gotta gaze at her
I'll only keep her a while.

Please Mrs. Avery I just gotta touch her one time...

Sylvia's mother said I could have Sylvia
for only three hundred bucks.

My wallet's empty though,
so I can't touch that ho'
Just proves that life really sucks.

Sylvia's mother said I should just stop tryin'
Unless I could just strike it rich.

And the operator said forty cents more for the next three minutes

Please Mrs. Avery just tell her I love her and I'll try to save up some dough.

Please Mrs. Avery you just gotta tell her I'll try...

Sylvia's mother said she'd always liked me
She just wished I'd earned me some dough.

Sylvia's mother said she'd wanted marriage but
Now was resigned as a Ho.

Sylvia's mother said thank you for callin' and
asked me to send her some Johns.

And the operator said forty cents more for the next three minutes

Please Mrs. Avery just tell her I love her and I'll try to save up some dough.

Please Mrs. Avery you just gotta tell her I'll try...

I'll try...